Off the Carousel
by unnamedconspirator
Summary: Post Derek's Death: After Driving away from Seattle, Meredith literally crashes into the 'Charming' town of Middleton, USA, the Mysterious Cassie Nightingale and her daughter Grace. Can Middleton and Cassie help Meredith find direction? Is there a reason she landed here? A connection to Derek perhaps? Crossover with Good Witch, but no category set up yet for that, details inside!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Post Derek's Death: After Driving away from Seattle, Meredith literally crashes into the 'Charming' town of Middleton, USA, and the Mysterious Cassie Nightingale and her daughter Grace. Can Middleton and Cassie help Meredith's Dark and Twisty? Is there a reason she landed here? A connection to Derek perhaps?

 **A/N:** Recently started watching The Good Witch TV series on the W channel here in Canada. Not sure where it plays in US. This is a crossover fic, but you don't need to have seen the show or previous TV movies. If you want you can google and youtube them. Good Witch is a gentle sentimental, shippy show starring Catherine Bell, which is why I am watching it. Anywho, Catherine Bell's character is Cassie Nightingale who has a second sense about people, as does her teenage daughter Grace. In the television series, Cassie's husband died a while ago. Cassie is not in any serious relationship, but she is good friends with the town's doctor Sam. She owns a shop in town and runs a bed and breakfast at the Grey House. (Ironic huh?)

But on with the story...

Meredith left in somewhat of a hurry, fighting a deep anxious well of grief that constricted her chest. The house, her work, her life... he was there, everywhere. But he _wasn't._ And it slayed her everyday. Especially at night, in the huge bed. Without distraction. Without _him._

She'd packed a few suitcases. The essentials for herself and Zola and Bailey, and made sure to grab a few of their favourite toys and some snacks just in case. It was a hasty rash decision she was making... but she just couldn't be _here_ and still _be_ if that made any sense.

The note she wrote was messy and tear stained. _I'm fine. The kids are safe._

The kids were the last thing she packed. A sleeping Bailey in her arms, and Zola's tiny dark palm in hers as she led them to the car.

"Where are we going Mommy?" Zola asked.

With a strange horrible deja vu of her own childhood, Meredith could only answer, "Away, sweetie."

They drove through the night, and the constricting feeling in her chest seemed to subside with each mile. Every once in a while a sob escaped her lips. Seattle was _home,_ but she was leaving it behind, for what she didn't know. For why she couldn't articulate... it was just too much right now, and she had to figure herself out.

Meredith wasn't even sure where she was going... A freeway here, a turnpike there. She stopped at a gas station at some point, very early in the morning while it was still dark, and bought a coffee. When the sun rose, she figured she would make a choice then. They could stop at an IHOP where she would gather the remnants of her resolve to answer an endless array of questions from her four-year old.

She glanced in the rearview mirror. The kids were asleep. Peaceful, oblivious. Meredith exhaled and wiped tired eyes. She would have to stop soon. The sun was just now rising, and a highway sign read: Middleton 50 miles.

Fifty miles, and then pancakes. Hopefully she would keep them down. The stress of the last few weeks had taken it's toll on her stomach lately, but maybe with some different scenery her stomach would settle.

xxx

Middleton could best be described as 'Charming,' and 'Quaint'. It had a main street, and a doctor's office, and a local bistro. It boasted it's unique shops from flowers to candy to knick-knacks and natural remedies.

But many years ago, the arrival of one woman seemed to take Middleton's charm to a whole new level. Cassie Nightingale had seemingly witchly powers. She seemed to be in touch with the subliminal, and with simple gestures and words, she could tap into the unknown intentions of the people there. She had a penchant for tea, and natural remedies. A cure for what 'ails you.'

Cassie also had a remarkable ability to at one moment, be beside you, and be gone when you blinked.

But her marriage to the Chief of Police consecrated the town's acceptance of her and her 'unusual' methods. The birth of her daughter was her pinnacle achievement, having lost her own parents when she was young and raised in foster homes. Now, Grace Nightingale was the brightest light in her life, since her dear husband passed away some years ago.

Now, home at the Grey House where she also ran her Bed and Breakfast, Cassie sipped her tea calmly as she watched her daughter gather her belongings for school. For you see, today was Grace's first time driving solo to school.

"Are you ready?" Cassie asked, putting her now empty cup into the sink.

"Yes! I'm so excited!"

"You are growing up so fast, love."

Grace smiled radiantly at her mother, her dark eyes flashing with love. "Abigail's here for you mom," she said.

Cassie raised an eyebrow at the knock on the door as Grace ran to open it. It seemed her daughter was picking up her own talents.

Abigail stepped in, prim and proper as usual. "Cassie, ready?"

"Of course cousin," Cassie replied, slipping on her coat and picking up her purse. Looking to her daughter she blew her a kiss, "I'll see you at the store after school?"

"Yes mom."

"Drive safe dear."

"I will."

xxx

The sun was definitely rising now, and Meredith squinted as the brightness shone through her windshield. Keeping her eyes on the road, she felt around for her sunglasses, which she usually kept in the side console. But they weren't there. Suddenly she realized she must've left them at home, because the last time she needed them was...after Derek's funeral, and she had dropped them in the glass bowl by the door. In her haste last night, she forgot them.

She sighed with exhaustion. Just a couple more miles. Already slowing down to town speed limits, it wouldn't be long before she could stop and breathe and find a hotel with a pool for the kids, and maybe spend a day or two just with them. From the back seat she heard Zola smack her lips as she started to rouse. She could hear Bailey's breathing change, becoming light and shallow.

She passed a sign that read, Middleton: 1 Mile, and a bevy of signs advertising their quaint townish shops.

Bailey murmured something, causing Meredith glanced in the rearview mirror, smiling when she saw his sleepy blue eyes looking at her. "Morning sunshine," she said softly, before looking back at the road. The sunlight reflected sharply into her eyes as she crested over the top of a small rise in the road, she blinked and raised a hand to block the glare.

It was too late.

"Oh!" she cried, as something appeared directly in front of her. Her foot pressed the brakes, but impact was unavoidable.

 _Screech-smack-crunch!_

Everything went black.

xxx

At Bell, Book and Candle, Cassie hummed as she dusted off a snow globe and placed it back on the shelf. She passed the door, unlocking it and turning the sign of her wondrous shop from closed to open. It was early yet, so she continued her business of dusting, picking up another object, a porcelain statue of a shepherd, when sudden shock and dread struck her. "Grace!" she screamed. In her shock the statue fell out of her hands and shattered.

xxx

Thanks! Please Review!


	2. You're going to be fine

**A/N** : Thanks Kaitlyn, Patsy and mandyg67 for your comments! Patsy, I thought you might be a Good Witch fan! Anywho...

Enjoy!

 _ **1956 Middleton, USA**_

 _Carolyn Maloney walked up to the counter at the Middleton soda shoppe. "What can I get for you miss?" Mr. Tinsdale asked, wiping a glass clean for her._

" _A strawberry shake please," Carolyn plunked her purse on the counter and settled on a stool at the counter._

" _Of course," he smiled as he began her order._

" _Mr. Tinsdale?" Carolyn couldn't help it, she was so happy today. She wanted to share._

" _Yes," he said over the roar of the blender._

" _Today I'm fifteen." Fifteen was one more step to sixteen... she couldn't wait. She wasn't a little kid anymore._

" _Oh, are you now..."_

" _Yes!"_

" _Well I guess that means an extra cherry then," He smothered the shake with whipped cream and popped two cherries on top._

" _Oh thank you." Carolyn happily eyed the cool treat, taking time just to enjoy the look of it before she sipped some of the sweet beverage._

 _The bell over the door jingled, and a tall dark-haired boy walked in. Carolyn watched him shyly from her corner. He was new, she'd never seen him before. She wondered if he was with that family that moved in next to the Grey House. But my, he was covered in dirt. He waved a couple of bills, "Root beer soda, Pops." He said, and he made a clicking sound, "on the rocks."_

 _He was trying to be cool, Carolyn shook her head. He was so full of himself. And heavens that hair was a mess! The boy needed a cut. When he met her gaze, she averted her eyes, looking down at her shake. "So is this a good place to hang out?" he asked._

 _She ignored him. Janine would be by later and they would be off to go swimming. She just wanted to enjoy her shake._

" _Oh, you're ignoring me... You can't ignore me."_

 _So full of himself. She had to put him in his place. "You look like you rolled in the mud and got your hair permed by an old lady," she snarked, wrinkling her nose. "And you smell."_

 _He actually had the decency to look offended. He lifted an arm to smell his armpit, "Bossy!" He said, smiling, his blue eyes dancing._

 _She rolled her eyes. "Mr. Tinsdale, can I have my shake to go?" she asked. Mr. Tinsdale nodded and picked up her shake to pour into a paper cup for her. Time to get away from smelly boys._

 _She picked up her shake and her purse, and left some change to pay for her treat. Her brand new Schwinn bicycle was parked outside, with a basket perfect for her purse. Shaking her head, she hopped on the bike and cycled away._

 _She hadn't gone far when she noticed she was being followed. That stupid stinky boy. "Oh for crying out loud!" she moaned._

 _He grinned, "I love a good chase," he said, barely panting as he peddled beside her on his own bike._

 _Carolyn rose out of her seat, peddling harder and faster to get away. "Go away, I don't like you."_

" _Well, I'm the kinda guy you need to know to like," he replied, pulling up beside her on his own bike._

 _Smarmy. "Oooh," she huffed. "There are-" and then her front tire struck something, the bicycle jerked. Carolyn launched in the air, flipping, her arms flailed before she landed flat on her back. Her bicycle clunked and clanked as it landed beside her._

" _Ouch..." she gasped._

 _Then that dirty boy's face appeared over hers, a glimmer of concern in his eyes before he grinned a stupid flashy kind of cute grin, "Oh, I think you already like me. I've got you falling head over heels!"_

 _Boys. And their boyish grins. Her head hurt. She closed her eyes, just for a minute._

xxx

Meredith woke to screaming. Bailey, she thought, though she couldn't form the words. Her ears rang and her head felt like it was full of water. The side of her face hurt and was sticking to something. _What..._ She thought as she lifted her head up slightly. It was the airbag that gave it away. She hit something...

"Mommy Mommy Mommy!" Zola shrieked.

"It's okay Zola, it's okay..." Meredith managed to say, though to her it sounded like she was speaking the words underwater. She did a careful self check. She could move her fingers and toes, good. There was pain in her upper chest though... no it was her clavicle. She felt her right collarbone with her left fingers and gasped in pain. Broken. But nothing else hurt acutely, though she was sure she'd suffered a mild concussion.

Zola and Bailey were still freaking out however. Meredith fumbled for the door and tried to get out but she seemed to be stuck somehow. She couldn't get out of her seat. Oh right. Seatbelt. Painfully, she reached for the right side of her seat and pushed the unlock button.

Released from her seat, she pulled herself out, clutching her side.

 _Oh no..._

She hadn't seen it coming. The other car. She hit someone. Meredith stood at a painful crossroads, help the other car or... her own children? Where was her phone?

But her children's calls could not be ignored, and it was a good sign anyway. Screaming meant breathing. She stumbled to Bailey's door and opened it. His face was red and tear streaked, but there wasn't a scratch on him.

Zola had calmed down somewhat, realizing that her mom was okay. Meredith leaned in and checked her out too. They were both fine. Stunned but fine. Bailey was still wailing. "Zola, it's okay sweetheart. We got into an accident, but we are all fine... We're gonna be just fine, alright?

She picked up a blanket that found it's way to the floor and covered both her kids with it. "Zola, you need to keep your brother calm and keep this blanket on you both okay? Mommy has to call an ambulance and check on the other driver. I'll come back." she cupped her daughters face in her palms and kissed her forehead. 'Nothing bad is going to happen."

Zola nodded intently. She looked at her brother, "Bailey, shhhh!"

Her phone, she had to find her phone. Meredith checked in and around her seat, feeling around for it. There. She picked it up thumbed for the phone app. She dialed 911 as she lurched to the other car.

She couldn't believe she hit someone.

The phone rang once as she approached the other driver. The front of merediths Mercedes SUV had struck the smaller honda sedan on the driver's side and there wasn't any movement. God she'd t-boned her.

" _911 what's your emergency?"_

"I um... there was an accident, I hit somebody."

Meredith peered in through the windshield. God, it was just a girl. Copious blood pouring from her scalp.

" _Okay, where are you?"_

Good question. She spun around, looking for a landmark of somekind, she remembered-"I.. I'm just on the outskirts of town, um... there's a billboard for a flower shop just behind me-"

"Okay just stay on the line, we're connecting to your GPS."

"I have to help the girl."Meredith was concerned about the girl in the car, there was a lot of blood, and she wasn't moving.

"Someone's hurt?"

"There's a lot of blood, it's definitely a scalp lac. It could be superficial but I have to get inside. I... I have to put the phone down." She put the phone on the hood of the car and raced around to the passenger side door. It was locked. She swore. she'd have to smash the window.

She went back to her car opened the trunk. There was a first aid kit and a sugical kit in here somewhere not to mention something heavy to smash the window.

"Mommy!" Zola called desperately. Bailey looked up, gasping and whimpering.

"Zola, you're doing great, but mommy has to help the girl that's hurt. An ambulance is coming. Stay here and help your brother."

xxx

Cassie flipped the sign back over but didn't bother sweeping up the mess of the shattered statue. Shakily, she walked back to the sales counter and picked up the phone. "Derek?" she said, speaking to the Chief of Police, "I think something happened to Grace... I have a feeling. Could you drive by the Grey House? She was supposed to drive to school alone and... I'm very worried."

xxx

Meredith brushed glass off the front seat as she leaned in and reached for the girls carotid to feel a pulse. It was there. Rapid, but solid against her fingertips. The girl's breathing was ragged though, and that wasn't a good sign. The scalp lac appeared superficial.

"Hello," Meredith called, shaking the girl's shoulder, "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes fluttered but there was other response. Meredith started to rip open the girl's jacket and shirt, there could be internal injuries, fractured ribs... There was definite bruising on the left side. She wished she had her stethoscope. "Dammit!" she muttered as she palpated.

"Owwww!" The girl spasmed in pain under her touch. Her eyes opened wide as she blinked and looked up at Meredith.

When she looked into those eyes, Meredith felt like the girl could see straight into her very being. One would think that would be creepy, but she felt oddly comforted by it.

"What- what happened?" she choked out.

"I... it was an accident. You- you're going to be fine." Meredith said. She wanted to say more, like 'I'm a doctor, and I'll take good care of you-' but she was such a wreck right now.

The girl nodded, strangely calm.

Clearly her patient was in shock. As she leaned over to apply pressure on the girl's forehead, the girl touched Meredith's abdomen. "You'll be fine too."

Meredith ignored the touch. "Is there any pain when you breathe?" she asked instead.

"Yes... it hurts a lot."

"Okay, you definitely broke some ribs... and it's possible one of them could've punctured a lung..."

"I'm Grace... what's your name?" The girl asked.

"Oh. Meredith."

"...Meri-" The girl said. Her eyes fluttered again, and her breathing became more laboured. Dammit where was the ambulance?

xxx

Police Chief Derek Sanders drove along the familiar route to the Grey House. Cassie's request had been strange, but still, he'd learned from her late husband that she was often right.

He swallowed back the urge to swear when he saw the wreckage before him. A black suv had t-boned another car, in the middle of the intersection. It appeared as if the driver of the SUV had blown a stop sign. He flashed his lights as he pulled up and stepped out. He did a quick radio call in to dispatch and was assured the ambulance was five minutes out.

He walked closer, and gasped. Dammit. The car was Cassie's. In the drivers side he saw Grace's blood matted hair.

"Grace!" He called, running now. He came around to the passengerside of the car where a woman was leaning over Cassies daughter, a first aid kit on the dashboard. but what was she doing? She was wearing gloves and was holding what looked like a pair of odd shaped scissors. Suddenly, she plunged them into Grace's side.

"Hey!" he called, but he didn't seem to get a response from the woman. He reached to stop her from harming Grace any further when suddenly Grace gasped and whimpered.

"Hey!" He called again, causing the woman to acknowledge his presence. "What the hell was that?"

She looked away for a second, her eyes on Grace, then she reached for gauze from the kit beside her. "It's okay," she said, covering the profusely bleeding forehead. "I'm a doctor, I know what I'm doing." She looked back at him, suddenly taking in Derek's uniform. "Please tell me an ambulance is coming?"

Derek put his hostility aside to examine the situation like a cop. Grace was breathing and the paleness he'd seen earlier was gone. Obviously whatever the stranger had done was working. And she was holding a blood soaked bandage on Grace's forehead. "It's coming," he replied.

"Okay," she said with a grimace. She looked down at Grace. "Grace? Can you hear me?"

The girl's eyes fluttered, "Yeah,"

"Grace." Derek said.

"Derek?" Grace replied.

"Yeah, I'm here, your mom sent me."

"Oh. Ow." She whimpered.

"Ambulance is coming." He could hear the sirens now.

"My kids," the doctor said, "Please.. can you check on them?"

Kids? How did he miss that? he'd walked right past her car. He nodded numbly. What the hell was happening? He wondered as he walked back to the SUV. The back door was open, as was the trunk. A sniffling blonde toddler struggled in his car seat, while a black preschooler wiggled in her booster. "Is mommy okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he breathed, "she's okay." he said, fixing the blanket across them. What happened, he wondered. How did she miss the stop sign?

xxx

Dr. Sam Radford heard the beeping of his pager and ran to the trauma room. There'd been a car accident, the ambulance was just pulling up. This past year, he'd been practicing as a General Practicioner, but he was one of the best trauma doctors in New York, and volunteering in the ER in the larger neighboring town of Blairville kept him current.

"What do we have?" He asked as he slipped on a trauma gown and gloves.

"Sixteen-year-old female, broken ribs, pneumothorax- possible head injury- chest tube placed in the field. -"

"What?" He wasn't aware of the EMT's being trained on inserting chest tubes. That could be dangerous if they didn't know what they were doing.

The nurse shrugged and nodded as the ambulance pulled up. But nothing compared to the shock of seeing who was on the stretcher. "Grace?" he gasped as she was wheeled out- A strange bloody woman walked beside the gurney, shouting off vitals-

"BP is 80 over 60- Pulse -one- twenty-"

"I got this-" he growled, pulling in front of her. He noticed her arm was in a sling, her forehead bloody. "Someone take care of her," he said. "What the hell happened?"

A flash of pain arrived on the older woman's face. "I didn't see her-" she said, before a nurse escorted her to a seperate bed. "My kids...where's my kids?"

But Sam focused instead on Grace. Cassie's daughter. His best friend's daughter. Her eyelids fluttered as she looked up at him. "Sam?" she mumbled.

"You're going to be just fine," he said, hiding his worry.

Grace smiled, "I know," she breathed.

"Alright, let's get an X-ray in here-" he called to the rest of the staff, as Grace was moved into a trauma room.

xxx

Cassie arrived at the hospital faster than one could blink an eye. At the entrance, she saw Derek's police car. He'd been the one to call her. She rushed through the doors, intent on finding her daughter.

Trembling with worry, she approached the desk, "Hi, my daughter is Grace-" she started.

"Cassie! Cass!" Derek called, forcing her to turn around.

"Derek! Where's Grace?"

She was pulled into a comforting embrace by a man she considered family. "Sam's got her... she's in surgery."

"Surgery?" Oh God, that wasn't good was it?

Derek rubbed her back, "It's alright, I mean... she's gonna make it okay, she's going to be fine."

Cassie closed her eyes and allowed herself to _feel_ and she knew that it was, indeed okay. Grace would pull through.

"What happened? I mean- I just had this feeling- and-"

Derek sighed and helped her to sit down beside him. "She got T-boned, the other driver didn't see the stop sign."

"Other driver?" Cassie asked. Oh no, someone else was involved?

"This lady... she's a doctor too... she was helping Grace when I got there." Derek rubbed his forehead and then reached for his phone, "I'm going to call Brandon."

"Oh, okay," she said, relieved that her stepson would be here for Grace too. Suddenly a commotion got her attention.

"No, no- no... no hopsital! No more hopsital!" a child shrieked from down the hall. Curiosity pulled Cassie down to see what was the matter.

A woman was sitting up on a gurney, a bloody bandage covering her bruised forehead, while her arm rested in a carefully placed sling. A blonde toddler lay fussing in her lap, while she tried to comfort her daughter who she couldn't reach due to the sling. "Shhh, Zola... it's okay, Mommy's okay. I just hurt my arm and my head. I'm not dying."

"Cass," Derek said from behind her. "That's the other lady-" he said.

"No! No more hopsital! I want to go home mommy! Take me back home!"

"Zola!" the sound of her call was a heart-wrenching sob, and Cassie had the feeling that not everything was as it seemed with this woman.

"I want daddy!"

"I know... Zola come here, just come sit here okay, please..." she hopped off the bed, wincing as she did, and pulled a chair over. "Get on the chair, and then on the bed okay, so I can hug you. I can't... I can't lift you."

"Do you want to talk to her?" Derek asked.

Cassie swallowed, not ready to acknowledge the tumble of mixed emotions in her. Now wasn't the time. "I... I want to know how Grace is doing. I should go wait for her." And with that, she turned and walked down to the surgery ward.

 **A/N** Thanks for reading, please review!


	3. It was you

**A/N:** Thanks so much everybody for reading this! Thanks to Patsy, Mandyg67, and Dina, who commented last chap. I know, I'm hooked too! I decided to post this because I needed to post _something._ I'm working on AFTR, which is turning out to be a doozy of an update, and my brain stopped working... so since this was already mostly written, here ya go!

A little Good Witch character intros:

 **Cassie Nightingale:** I explained her earlier: What you do need to know is that she has a stepson, **Brandon Russell,** who is a police officer.

 **Sam Radford:** Middleton's local Doctor. He was a huge deal in New York. Head of the ER, he was a trauma surgeon for ten years before he decided he needed to slow down after he divorced and spend time with his is also Cassie's next door neighbor.

 **Derek Sanders:** Middleton's Chief of Police, was Jake Russell's (Cassie's late husband) right hand man when Jake was Chief, now he's taken his place.

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to PM me or leave a comment or Question in your review.

Enjoy!

 _Carolyn opened her eyes slowly. Maybe he'd be gone. No such luck. He was still there, leaning over her._

 _Well at least he looked guilty. She briefly considered screaming in pain just to shock him, but... no that wouldn't be nice._

" _That was some bump. I'm sorry." He said genuinely._

" _I just..." Carolyn sat up slowly. Nothing really hurt except for some pain in her back from having the wind knocked out of her. "Why are you following me?" She was a blunt person, she wanted straight answers. He better give her a straight answer._

 _He shrugged and half smiled. "I dunno, you seemed nice. I just moved here yesterday. I don't know anybody."_

" _Oh." That was it? She seemed nice? He chased after her and flirted with her because she seemed nice?_

 _He must've read her mind, because he elaborated. "Well, I like your hair... and your smile, it's huge. I think I could like you maybe. If you want me to." He looked over her to her bike and picked it up. The front tire was flat._

 _Carolyn sighed in disappointment. It was brand new! "My dad's going to kill me," she said._

" _Nah. You're his little girl. If it was me though-" he made a gesture of a finger slashing over his throat._

 _Then he offered his hand to help her up. "I'm Michael Shepherd by the way."_

 _She glared for a second, then decided to take his hand. "Carolyn. Maloney," she said as he pulled her up. "That's all you get for now. The rest you're going to have to earn."_

xxx

Cassie paced in the waiting area, her usual calm leaving her every minute she waited. As far as she understood, the surgery to repair Grace's lung would be relatively simple and shouldn't take too long. Still, it was surgery and it was her daughter.

"Cassie!" Someone called.

She jerked her head up. "Brandon," she breathed at the sight of her stepson. In two steps he reached her in a huge hug, and she finally allowed herself to cry into his shoulder. "Grace... I... she..."

"Shhh, it's okay Mom, it'll be okay." He pulled her to a chair and they both sat down, Cassie leaned on his shoulder, thankful to be held.

The minutes seemed like hours and Cassie wished she could just sleep and wake up next to Grace, anything for the time to move faster than the slow moving river of _this._ Just then, Brandon shifted, causing her to look up.

Sam was there, in his hospital scrubs.

"Sam?" Cassie asked.

He smiled. "Surgery was textbook, Cassie. Grace will be just fine. You can see her now." He motioned and she followed him down the hall to the ICU. "It'll be awhile before she wakes up. She had a punctured lung and a concussion. She'll be sore and tired for a few weeks but she'll bounce back good as new."

"Thank you Sam. Thanks so much- I," The relief was overwhelming and Cassie was speechless, she just wanted to hold her daughter.

He held her close. "I know..." he said as he took her hand and guided her into the room, Brandon shuffling in behind her.

"I'll leave you guys here, I have some notes to finish," Sam said, and left them quietly.

Cassie stepped toward the bed and clutched her daughter's hand. She'd never seen Grace look so still before. She was always moving, always vibrating with energy. Now she was still and pale but... peaceful. "Grace, I'm here. Everything is going to be fine," she said as she sat down to wait for her to wake up.

They waited for awhile, finally Brandon sighed loudly. "I'm going to get something to eat, you want something?" he asked.

"No, I'm alright." Cassie replied, still staring at her daughter.

xxx

Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her bed. She'd just finished giving her statement to the Chief of Police and now her thoughts were spinning and swirling. Maybe she should just go home. This was a mistake. It was Meredith impulsive and she screwed up _again._ She should just go home to Seattle and-

And what? Feel her heart break over and over again in the big dreamhouse? In the hospital around every corner? In the sympathetic gazes of her overbearing friends? Who was she anymore? Without Derek...who was she?

"Dammit." She muttered under her breath.

She could barely hold it together earlier to be a doctor. The crash kept running over and over in her mind. Sometimes in her twisted thoughts, when she opened the passenger door to help Grace, she saw Derek there instead, bandaged and bloody, as he turned to her, "You told me to leave... you let me go," he would say before his eyes closed to the sound of the flatline.

"Mommy?" Bailey asked from his spot beside her. "Mommy, I firsty."

"Oh," Meredith said, pulled into the now. The now was good, she could do the now. "Um," she looked around to see if there was any nurses who could bring some juice, but no one seemed to be around. She manuevered off the bed and shoved a hand in the pocket of her jeans. A worn dollar bill rubbed on her fingertips. There was a vending machine across the hall. "Stay here, I'll get us a drink okay?"

"O-tay," Bailey said as he curled up closer to Zola who was sleeping. Meredith sighed, wincing at the pain in her shoulder as she made her way to the vending machine. She was halfway there when someone tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped, startled. She turned around and was face to face with the ER doctor she saw earlier.

"It was you," he said.

"It was me?" Meredith asked, very confused.

"You put the chest tube in Grace."

Meredith swallowed, blinked, swallowed again. The accident flashed through her mind, she saw her own bloody gloved hands making the inscision, inserting the tube, hearing Grace's painful gasp. "Um..." she looked back toward the vending machine. She was thirsty, and tired, and her kids were thirsty.

"Derek said you claimed to be a doctor." The man said. It was a neutral statement, a prodding.

 _Derek._ But not her Derek.

"I'm a surgeon." She said simply. Nothing special. Not extraordinary. Not anymore. "Is Grace... how is she?" She managed to ask.

The man nodded, "She'll be fine." He said, his expression unreadable.

A thousand pound weight lifted off her shoulders, "Good, that's good," she breathed.

"Yeah. Well, uh take care." The doctor replied. He glanced at his watch, "I've got to go," and with that he was gone.

Meredith sighed and held her stomach, swallowing back the nausea. Grace was okay. Good. That was good. Really good. She looked back at the vending machine and started toward it again.

"It was you." Someone called out.

She wasn't really paying attention until he called out again, "Hey, you're the one who hit my sister. It was you."

Crap.

Her hand hovered over the slot at the vending machine, the dollar bill shaking in her trembling fingers. She tried to just focus on the selection of beverages in the cooler. When would she wake up from this nightmare?

"Hey."

Startled, she dropped the bill as she turned toward the voice. "I-,"

"How could you not see her?" The young man asked, upset.

Double crap.

Meredith forced herself to look up at him, meet his gaze head on. "I'm sorry." she offered. It was all she could offer, "I'm just- I'm so sorry." Her clavicle ached, and nausea rolled again in her stomach.

"You better be." He shook his head and walked away.

She watched his retreating form, sucking in air, clutching her stomach. It came without warning, stomach acid and bile erupted out of her, burning her esophagus and the dull ache in her clavicle now a painful stab. "Oh," she gasped before she retched again, nothing but dry heaves. Too weak to stand anymore, she slid against the vending machine to the cold floor.

xxx

Cassie curled in the chair beside Grace's bed and stroked her daughter's hand, waiting. Just waiting. She didn't know what compelled her to let Grace drive today, but she had and then _this_ happened. How? Why? She sighed. But who was she to question fate? There was a reason for this, she knew. There was always a reason.

Brandon entered, and the mood in the room drastically changed. He was upset.

"Brandon?" She asked.

"I saw her, mom... the lady that hit Grace. I saw her."

"Oh Brandon," She could only imagine his reaction. He and Grace were close, this accident shook him up.

"Derek said... he said she didn't see her mom, she didn't see Grace coming, and she didn't see the stop sign. I mean how could she not? It's clear out. No fog, no rain... she wasn't speeding... and then-"

"Brandon," Cassie interrupted. "Shhh," she soothed. "Come sit here," she stood up and offered her seat. "Hold Grace's hand and... tell her a story, something funny. You need to calm down. Grace is okay. She's alive, that's all that matters." She had to remind him of that. Grace was alive.

"Mom..."

She cocked her head, daring him to resist, but he sighed and sat down, taking his half sister's hand in his own.

"I'm going to get some tea," Cassie said as she exited the room. She needed something calming.

She turned down the hall and was startled by what she saw. That woman, slumped against the vending machine, wiping her eyes and clutching a bill in her hands.

Cassie took a deep breath and walked toward her. "Thirsty?" she asked. It was discomfitting. Usually she could sense what people needed... but it seemed impossible here, and she didn;t know why.

"Huh?" The woman asked, startled out of her reverie.

"Allow me." Cassie said, plucking the bill from her limp fingers and feeding it into the machine, "Apple juice?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure..." the woman said quietly.

An orderly came by with a mop, and Cassie's heart panged at the puddle of vomit in the middle of the hall. She selected apple juice on the keypad and bent to scoop it from the machine. "Here," she handed the bottle to her, meeting the woman's gaze for the first time. Her grey eyes were stormy with mixed emotions, there was so much going on in those eyes, in that soul... but it was jarring again for her.

A look of recognition came across the woman's tear-stained features, however. "You're Grace's mother," she said.

"Yes." Cassie said, still unsettled.

"I'm sorry," the woman replied. "There's no excuse... I wish I-"

"I know," Cassie said, unable to say anything else.

The woman struggled to get up, refusing Cassie's hand, instead pushing with her knees as she slid up the vending machine. "I'm a doctor," she said softly. "I fix things... but now... I just screw everything up, all the time," she sniffed. She looked back at Cassie, "I'm sorry I hurt your daughter. She seems... very nice."

Then she lurched away before Cassie could reply.

xxx

Meredith couldn't be here anymore. She rinsed her mouth out with a couple sips of apple juice before she offered some to Bailey and Zola. Thankfully she remembered to grab her purse when the ambulance arrived. Her car was probably totalled now. She would have to call the insurance company, so she was essentially stuck here until she secure some other means of transportation. But she didn't have to stay at the hospital.

She walked to the desk, "I want to leave, just give me the forms."

"Ma'am, we don't reccomend that you leave yet, your labs haven't come back." The nurse replied seriously.

"I'm a Doctor. I have a fractured clavicle and a mild concussion which I know will be fine. Give me the forms." Her tone was harsh and grating and she hated it, but she couldn't be here. She just needed a big bed so she could fall asleep covered by her children.

The nurse sighed, "Let me call the ER resident," she said, lifting up the phone.

xxx

 **A/N:** Well... I cried when I wrote this, and when I read it! But it gets better soon!


	4. The Grey House? Seriously?

**A/N:** Well, I'm back... had to take a little break to let ideas come and percolate... Thanks for your patience. I'm really surprised at the response from people! It's great! You guys are great! If you like this fic, you may like my other fics, **The Call,** which is a crossover with Code Black. Or perhaps **Growing Pains,** which is a crossover with Law and Order SVU. Check out my author profile!

Thanks to Mandyg67, Patsy, Kaitlyn, Evie, and the TheDoctorPieMaker... for all your encouragement!

Enjoy!

 _The next time she saw Michael Shepherd, he'd cleaned up. His hair was combed into gentle waves, shining in the light, and he was wearing nice pleated trousers and a white button up shirt._

 _It was the Sunday picnic._

 _Of course, he wasn't wearing a tie, and his sleeves were rolled up._

 _He stood awkwardly among the throng of church people, which was a few dozen, not to mention the several small children who pushed through the crowd and darted in between legs._

 _She hadn't noticed him there before. Of course, her family had arrived much earlier for the service and always sat three rows from the front. And she hadn't been in the choir this time so she wouldn't have noticed his arrival, as she was facing the front. Her curious eyes lingered, transfixed. He was handsome... now that the dirt had been scrubbed off and his hair tamed. For the first time, she noticed his dark blue eyes, and she skipped a breath._

" _Carolyn! Come help me dear," Her mother called as she laid out her casserole dishes on the picnic table. "Bring the napkins in from the car, and the extra plates."_

" _Yes mother," she mumbled dutifully, and made her way to the car._

 _As she pushed through the crowd of picnic-basket carrying families, she couldn't help but overhear the whispers of the gossipers, Nicole, Tracy and Sharon._

" _Did you hear about the new boy, Michael?"_

" _I heard he moved into the house beside the Grey House..."_

" _Really?"_

" _I hear he doesn't have any parents..."_

" _What?"_

" _Yeah, the paperboy Jasper says he lives with his Grandma..."_

" _Isn't that Phyllis Shepherd?"_

" _Ew. Phyllis is his Grandma?"_

 _Carolyn took that time to intervene... "Hey!" She called, marching toward the girls. "If you did not see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small minds and big mouths!"_

 _The three girls stared at her, rolled their eyes and scoffed. "Hey," said Nicole, the default leader, "I think the line is open for food, C'mon." She nodded to the park and her friends dutifully followed._

 _As they parted, she saw Michael. He'd heard everything, and his usual playful look was gone from his expression._

 _She drew near him, standing a few feet away. "Are you alright?" she asked._

 _His eyes glittered and his mouth curved to a half smile. "Just hiding my pain," he said._

" _Don't mind them, they don't know what they're talking about."_

 _He shrugged sadly._

" _What's it matter anyway? Who cares? If you knew half the things about them that they think they know about you, you wouldn't give them even a moment's notice."_

" _Really?" he asked disbelivingly._

 _Carolyn decided to change the subject to something more cheerful. "Are you any good at the three legged race? I need a partner."_

xxx

 _Grace felt she was watching a movie. Through grey stormy eyes she was pulled in, looking inside a person._

" _Wait for me..." Grace heard someone say as a Carousel spun around._

 _She felt the presence of a man, a gentle intelligent soul. A soul that strived. She saw him, wavy dark hair, piercing blue eyes._

" _Stay here," he was saying with love. "Wait for me."_

" _I don't know... I just feel like I got you back and now you're going again..."_

" _We can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart." The carousel spun and spun, and the little girl held on tight._

" _I love you Meredith Grey and I want to spend the rest of my life with you..."_

" _I can live without you, but I don't want to, I don't ever want to." The girl was a woman now, and her smile faded._

" _Give me the papers!" The Carousel spun faster and faster around and then..._

" _Where are we going mommy?" A dark skinned girl asked as she held onto her mother._

" _Away sweetie."_

 _It was empty... the Carousel spun, but no one was riding._

" _It's okay, I'm a doctor, I know what I'm doing."_

" _Grace? Can you hear me?"_

"Grace?"

The movie reel in her head stopped and now there was just blackness. Feeling was returning to her however, and she sighed. She felt pressure on her hand.

"Grace?"

Mom? What was she doing at school? Wait... something felt wrong. She remembered a noise, a horrible squeaking crunchy noise. And pain... a lot of pain, and it was hard to breathe... but-

Grace sighed again. She had to open her eyes. She blinked, and finally- "Mom..." she murmured.

"Hey, you're awake."

Grace blinked again, and now the brown blur in front of her became her mother's face. She returned her mother's squeeze and swallowed.

"Here." A few cold ice chips were offered to her on a spoon and she sucked on them greedily.

"You were in an accident on your way to school, do you remember?"

"I..." she started, thinking. Yes, she remembered now. "I didn't even see- it was just-" crunch.

"Oh hon, you broke two ribs and punctured a lung, and you have a concussion... but, you're going to be just fine." Her mother looked so relieved.

Grace managed a smile and squeezed her mother's hand again, to offer reasurance. "I know mom, I always knew. Meredith was there." She remembered looking into those eyes, and somehow just knowing that she would be okay.

"Meredith?"

 _I'm Grace, what's your name?_

 _Oh. Meredith._

"The lady in the other car... how is she?"

Grace saw a strange look on her mother's face. "She's... a little banged up," she said. "But she's alright I think."

"You think?" Grace asked. This was unusual. Her mother was hardly uncertain about anything. Especially people.

Her mother seemed to be aware of this too. Her expression was confused and pained.

"Mom?"

"I just... I can't read her Grace... I don't know why."

Grace sighed. So that was it... but- "I think I can mom, and I don't think she's okay."

Mom leaned in closer, her eyebrows furrowing with concern, "What do you mean?"

"I think that... she's alone and a little lost." Grace swallowed and gripped her mother's hand tighter. "Mom, she's got nowhere to go."

Her mother looked away from her for a moment and then back into her daughter's eyes. "I'll go talk to her. Brandon just went to get lunch, he'll be back in no time."

"Okay Mom." There was just something about those stormy eyes, and the love that used to be there but wasn't, and Grace had to know that Meredith was alright.

xxx

"Sam!" Cassie called out to her friend as she saw him by the front desk. "Do you know where Meredith is? The other driver?"

He shook his head, "She signed herself out about an hour ago."

"What?"

"Yeah, against medical advice."

Cassie wrung her hands worriedly, "Do you think she'll be okay?"

"I saw her scans, she'll be sore, but there's nothing to be overly concerned about." He squinted. "Why?" he asked. "Is this- _the thing?_ " Sam knew about her 'Second Sense,' and often remarked on it

"Grace is a little concerned, and I am too," she acknowledged.

He nodded, "Well she can't have gone far, her car is totaled. It'll be awhile before insurance gets her a rental. I bet she's still in Blairville."

Cassie breathed in relief... "Well... that's alright then, I guess. I should get back to Cassie."

"Dr. Radford?" A nurse brusquely walked by. "Labs for Meredith Grey."

"Thanks." Sam picked up the folder and looked inside. "Mm," he murmured as he flipped the folder closed. "Can you fax this to my office please? Just in case she shows up."

xxx

Meredith wearily exited the taxi for the forth time. She unbuckled Zola and Bailey from the backseat and waited for them to crawl out.

"Come on," she said, taking Zola's hand. "Take your brother's hand."

Zola obeyed with a sigh, and the three of them limped to the hotel door. "Please have a room," she muttered to herself. The last three hotels had all been full and this was the last one in Blairville.

"Excuse me," she called at the desk, "I need to book a room."

The old woman shook her head, "I'm sorry dear, we're all booked up."

"What?"

"It's the heritage festival this weekend, everyone is here from around the state."

"Well is there anywhere I can go? I have kids and my car is totalled and I just- don't have anywhere to go..." she swallowed back a sob. "Please?" she squeaked. God, she hated begging, but she was sore and tired and Bailey was cranky and her purse was getting too heavy...

The lady hummed for a moment. "Well, there is that bed and breakfast in Middleton, I'll call ahead for you to make sure there's a room alright?"

"Thank you."

xxx

"So how long will Grace be in the hospital?" Cassie asked Sam as he drove her home. She'd been reassured by all the medical staff that Grace would be just fine and even Grace herself practically pushed her out the door, which was strange... but she was glad that she had Sam for company right now. Besides, Brandon was there looking after Grace.

"Barring any complications, a few days," Sam replied, nodding.

"Good, I'm just thankful she's alive."

"Hm." he said.

They rode in silence for a few moments. "So what was your impression of Meredith?" Cassie asked. She just had to get another opinion of the woman, because her instincts were... off.

"Well, from what I heard, she stayed at the scene, called 911, left her own children to check on Grace, inserted a perfectly placed chest tube to help your daughter breathe properly and remained at her side until they arrived at the hosptial. That's pretty impressive if you ask me."

"She seemed to have a lot going on," Cassie added.

"Maybe so, but she asked about Grace. I know a good doctor when I see one, and despite whatever she was going through at the moment, she put grace first. That's a point in my books."

"Yes," Cassie agreed, "I suppose it is."

They pulled up to her house and Sam put the car in park. "Do you... um want me to stay or anything?"

"I'll be okay Sam. I'm going to get some things for Grace tomorrow, and... I'm sure Abigail will want to be filled in.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night Sam."

"Good night Cassie."

She stepped out of the car and walked swiftly into The Grey House. Home. Although she hated to be away from her daughter, she knew she would be fine, and she was just glad to be here now, in the comfort of her home.

"Hello?" she called, hoping Abigail or George were here.

"Cassie?" A voice called from up the stairs.

"George." She replied to her father in law. Well, not exactly, he was Jakes deceased wife's father... not that it made a differance now. He was like a father to her, and a grandfather to Grace, so it didn't matter.

"How's Grace?" He asked, coming down to her.

"Well, she'll be in the hospital for a few days, but she'll be okay."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God," he said.

"Hm, yes." Cassie said. "I could really use a cup of relaxing tea, can I make some for you George?"

"Oh, sure, start one up, but... I have to get one of the rooms ready, we have a guest arriving."

"Oh." Cassie replied softly. Was this why Grace pushed her to go home?

"Got kids too, we don't usually cater to families like this, but she seemed pretty desperate, all the hotels are booked up in Blairville," George added.

"Hm." Cassie said, starting the water for the tea, she sighed and settled in to wait. She looked up when she heard the noise of a car approaching, the headlights flashing against the window. Car doors opened and closed. There was a hush of voices. That must be her guest. She gracefully stood up and walked to the door, opening it widely.

Cassie gasped, although she suspected that if Grace was here she would have smiled instead, because Grace knew this would happen.

At her doorstep was a familiar pair of exhausted grey eyes. Meredith. Her arm still bound in a sling, a jacket thrown over her shoulders, just covering enough of the blood that lined her shirt so it didn't stand out. Her previous head bandage was removed, but under dirty blonde bangs was an ugly band of stitches. Her hand clutched her daughters who clutched her son's and a heavy purse hung over her good shoulder.

"The Grey house? Seriously? And you're... the the- person that runs it? Seriously?" Meredith choked. She looked pleadingly at the departing cab.

"Meredith-" Cassie started.

"Um... it's fine, it's okay. I'm sure you don't want me to stay here. If you can just call me another cab... My phone battery died and the charger is in my car and-"

"Meredith-" Cassie interrupted.

"I never should've left Seattle- God, I'm so stupid!-"

"Meredith!" Cassie raised her voice.

Startled, Meredith looked up, meeting her gaze again.

"I don't turn Guests away. Please come in, you're welcome here." She wouldn't refuse this woman. There was a reason she was here, there was always a reason people stayed at Grey house.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, come in, you look exhausted. Your room is almost ready."

"Mommy...pwease can we stay here?" The girl asked, swinging her mother's arm.

"I tired." The boy whined.

Meredith looked down at her children, "Okay..." she said, "Okay."

"Room's ready!" George called from upstairs.

"Please, sign in here, and come this way." Cassie said, showing her the guest book before leading her upstairs

Cassie led them to the room, it was their biggest room, with the biggest bed. The kids ran to the bed immediately and began to jump on it, laughing as they did so.

"Bailey! Zola!" Meredith yelled, immediately stilling them. "Sit down and be quiet."

Cassie saw a change in the children's expression, like they were about to cry and Meredith deflated, knowing what was going to happen next. So Cassie quickly intervened, "It's against the rules to jump on the bed when it's bedtime," she said, "But if you're good, there may be a yummy breakfast ready in the morning when you wake up."

"Can we have waffles?" the girl asked.

Cassie smiled. "That sounds like a wonderful breakfast."

Meredith sat down on the edge of the bed, and her kids leaned against her. She kissed her son's forehead and sighed, her free hand scrunching the bed sheets. She shook her head, "Thank you. Thanks- I..."

"I know." Cassie said again, "Grace woke up... and she'll be fine," she smiled. "She actually was worried about you."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Oh."

"Meredith," she started.

"You know, I never got your name." Meredith said.

"Cassie."

"Cassie." Meredith said, nodding.

"Meredith, it was an accident..." She stepped closer, knowing it was important that Meredith know and understand how she felt. "I know you didn't hit her on purpose."

"I wasn't wearing my sunglasses, I left them at home and the sun-" her voice cracked.

Cassie sat down beside the upset woman and placed a hand on her knee. "It's okay, and you're welcome to stay here as long as you need to get your... bearings." The word just came to her, and she wondered why she'd spoken it. _She's a little lost..._ Grace said earlier.

"Okay." Meredith whispered. "Thank you."

"You look like you need some rest... I'll check in on you later. The kitchen is open... I've got a few premade snacks in the fridge if you're hungry."

Meredith nodded and scooted to the head of the bed, grabbing extra pillows to prop her up. Cassie took it as her cue to exit.

She left the room, closing the door behind her and sighed. There was definitely more going on with Meredith. She just hoped she could help. Speaking of help... she went to her room and opened a drawer, picking out some comfortable sweats and refolded them. She went back to Meredith's room and knocked softly on the door. "Meredith?" she asked, stepping into the room.

Meredith was already asleep. the television was playing a cartoon that the kids were watching while eating grapes. Zola stared at her with big brown eyes. Cassie put the sweats on a chair. "Clean clothes for your mom," she said to the solemn four-year-old. Sighing, and offering a prayer to whatever may be out there, she hoped Meredith would find what she was looking for.

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please review!


	5. In the Now

**A/N:** Thanks to the DoctorPieMaker, mandyg67, Patsy, Kaitlyn and Olivia for your comments! I really appreciate it! Please enjoy this next installment!

A few notes about a couple Good Witch Characters:

 **Abigail:** Cassie's long lost cousin, she has a similiar sense as Cassie and Grace, however, she is a little more self centered than Cassie... (she's not exactly a bad person, just uses her sense in a different way, and sometimes it can be hard to figure out exactly what her intentions are...) She also owns a flower shop in town.

 **Martha Tinsdale:** The Mayor of Middleton, she considers Cassie a close friend. She is a significant and ambitious force in town, and likes to know everything that goes on.

Anyway! Enjoy!

Meredith woke to poking. "Mom... Mommy..." Zola said, her little finger poke-poking the top of her shoulder.

She sighed, and winced at the pain of her other shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open. She offered her daughter a sleepy smile, "Hey..." she said, "What's up lovebug?"

"Me and Bail are hungry, and there's no more grapes n crackers in your purse."

"Oh..." Meredith wiped sleep from her eyes and blinked. She looked at her watch. it was eight o'clock pm. How long had she been out? She didn't remember. She had to pee though, so she walked stiffly to the bathroom.

"Mom?" Zola asked again.

"I know honey" Meredith said from behind the bathroom door. "I'll get you some food, I just have to clean up a little okay?" She flushed the toilet and sood in front of the sink. In the mirror her reflection stared back at her. Pale, with dark circles under her eyes. A nasty stitched up mess at the top of her head that looked like it had been splashed with grape juice. Her shirt collar and sleeves were stained with blood. God... she was a wreck. She turned the taps on and with her good hand she wiped her face with warm water. She was still very tired and sore.

But her kids were hungry and they came first. She came out of the bathroom, startled when Zola was right there, holding up a bundle of clothes. "The lady left these." she said.

Sudden relief filled her. Clean clothes. She sat down on the bed and very carefully undid the velcro straps of her sling, cradling her arm carefully as she did so. In her haste to leave the hospital, she'd forgotten to fill her prescription. She'd just have to bear until morning.

She carefully unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off, along with her bra. She very carefully put the on the light cotton T-shirt and sweatpants Cassie left her. She left the sling on the bed to air out from all the sweat she'd left on it.

"C'mon guys, let's go find the kitchen." She took Bailey's hand, and led them downstairs.

xxx

No sooner had Cassie settled in the living room, then Abigail bustled in. "Oh, Cassie, is Grace okay? I heard from Derek she was in an accident!"

"She's going to be fine... she'll be in the hospital for a few days and sore for a few weeks, but she's okay."

"Oh thank heavens!" Abby sat down on the couch beside her. "Oh that must've been horrible... just waiting and wondering..."

Cassie reflected on it for a moment, "It was... but I knew Grace would be okay, and she was," she said smiling.

"Well, that's good... let me know if there's anything I can do alright? Maybe I can bring her some flowers."

"I'm sure she'd like that." Cassie replied.

Just then the door opened and Martha bustled in. "Dear Lord Cassie, is Grace all right? I heard-"

Cassie nodded. "Martha, thank you for coming, you shouldn't have- Grace is going to be fine."

"Oh, Brandon sounded so upset when I spoke to him. How could anyone miss that stop sign? Do you know if there'll be charges? What kind of person is that careless?"

Just then Meredith appeared, walking stiffly to the kitchen, her two children behind her. The purplish bruise and cut on her forehead attested to the days events. She was focused on her children, and didn't notice the glances between Cassie, Martha and Abigail. Martha seemed to want to get a better look at Meredith.

Cassie ushered Martha and Abigail into the living room. "There will be no charges. It was an accident." she said simply.

"Is she-" Abigail said, nodding toward the kitchen.

"Abigail!" Cassie scolded. "Accidents happen. Grace is alive. She'll be fine. You will let this go." She looked at Martha. "Both of you."

Cassie got up. "I have to go and check up on my... guest."

Abigail raised her eyebrows but settled on the sofa to wait. Martha scoffed, gathered herself and headed to let herself out.

xxx

"Umm okay," Meredith said as she looked in the fridge at the food available, "There's yogurt ... and how about some cheese and crackers?"

"Cheesy cackers!" Bailey cheered.

"Okay then, here, eat this..." she said, opening the yogurt and digging out a spoon for him and Zola.

Then she pulled out the cheese from the tupperware container and seperated it onto three plates. Her stomach growled loudly, and Zola looked at her wide-eyed.

"Mommy's hungry too," she said, rubbing her belly. She reached for the box of crackers in the cupboard, but gasped in pain. "Ow." she rubbed her collarbone. Wrong hand.

"Let me help you with that." A voice said, and suddenly Cassie was beside her. Meredith allowed her to take down the box. "Thanks." she said, although she avoided eye contact, still feeling... like she didn't deserve this kindness.

"Your shoulder?" Cassie furrowed her brow in concern as she portioned the crackers onto each plate.

"I fractured my clavicle." Meredith said, unconsciously wrapping her bad arm around herself. "I-"

"I have just the thing," Cassie said, "Arnica Oil. It's a pain reliever and a muscle relaxant." She dug around in a cupboard and produced a bottle.

"Oh... um thanks." Meredith glanced at the bottle skeptically. It wasn't exactly prescription, but she would take anything now. She hadn't realized how much it hurt. She regretted leaving the sling upstairs. Taking her own little plate, she sat down at the table with her kids and peeled the lid off the yogurt and licked the bottom.

They sat quietly at the table, the kids happily eating and distracted. For the first time all day, Meredith found a semblance of peace. She still had no idea what the hell she was doing or why she left home or where she was going... or any of that... but for a few moments in the quiet, she allowed herself to relax.

"I miss Daddy." Zola said.

Meredith swallowed thickly and nervously stirred her yogurt. "I know sweetie."

"He would kiss your owie better mommy."

She couldn't help but smile as a memory of Derek kissing her appeared. She could almost feel it. Almost.

 _Here...and here... and here..._

"Yes, he would."

Meredith noticed Cassie looking at her strangely. She got up and went to the sink with her empty plate to be washed. But her kids were still eating, so she just stood there, leaning against the counter, "Um... thanks for the clothes," she managed to say to Cassie.

"You're welcome." she said.

xxx

Afterwards, Meredith took her kids back upstairs. She hauled her purse up on the bed, grateful that she always packed extra diapers and underwear for Zola and Bailey. She could carry a kitchen sink in there if she wanted to. Tomorrow, she would call the insurance company and get the ball rolling on a rental and then... she didn't know.

She missed Derek. She wanted him so bad. But he was gone now, so-

"Guys," she said to her kids, "How about a bubble bath?"

"Bubbles!" Bailey exclaimed.

"Yes, bubbles," she smiled at her son's excitement. "Come on, I'll go start the water."

A few minutes later, she rested in the tub, her body warm and flush with heat, the top of the water covered in stiff soapy bubbles like meringue. Zola piled a cone of bubbles on her brother's head while sporting a white soapy beard. She looked like a very strange gnome. Overcome, Meredith reached with her good arm for her daughter, pulling her close. She kissed Zola's head and rested her chin on her shoulder. Bailey sat on her knee, his small hands tickling her toes.

This... this was all she knew.

xxx

Cassie was up early the next morning. She picked up the guestbook to record Meredith's information in the computer. As she typed, she paused. Curious. Meredith had signed in Meredith Grey, but her children's last names were shepherd. Shepherd. She'd heard about shepherd's living here at one time... she'd have to ask Martha. She would know.

Then she busied herself in the kitchen, she had waffles to make afterall. As she mixed the batter, it wasn't long before she heard the soft slapping of barefeet on the floor. She looked down. Zola.

"You makin' waffles?" the girl asked, and Cassie couldn't help but smile.

"Yes I am. Where's your mom?"

"Still sleepin. Bailey was up allll night, now he's sleepin' with mommy."

"Oh," Cassie said stirring the batter.

"I'm sooo hungry, my tummy was makin' growls."

"Really?" smiling, Cassie poured the batter into the waffle maker and pressed it down. "Well the waffle will be ready in a few minutes," she said.

Zola pulled herself up on the chair to watch Cassie work. "My auntie makes waffles too."

"Oh she does?"

"Yeah, but then daddy died and and mommy cried in the baffroom lots and then we went to the green place with rocks and everybody was really sad, and then we went in the car and drove away. So I don't know where Aunite Amy is anymore." She held her hands up in a questioning gesture.

Cassie stopped slicing the strawberries and looked in shock at Zola, the girl on her knees on the chair, leaning over the counter, her little fingers tracing the little square pattern on a napkin.

 _She's alone mom, and she's lost and she has nowhere to go. S_ he remembered Grace saying.

 _Daddy would kiss your owies mommy._

 _Yes he would._

She quickly opened the waffle maker and dished up the waffle before it burned, "Do you want strawberries and whipped cream?" she asked, reaching for the bowl.

Zola's eyes went wide as she saw it. "Yes pwease!"

Cassie watched the little girl gleefully dive in to the breakfast before her.

 _I'm a doctor, I fix things... but now... I just screw everything up, all the time._

Suddenly it all made sense to Cassie. This wasn't just a minor accident for Meredith where she could just pick herself up and go home... this was grief. at it's rawest moment.

"Zola, you had me worried..." Meredith said as she entered the kitchen, She was wearing Cassie's sweats, her hair loose, framing her face. She looked clean and refreshed from yesterday, albeit a little tired. Bailey ran in from behind as Meredith continued. "You didn't tell me where you were going!"

Zola guiltily picked at her waffle. "You were sleepin'."

"I know. But wake me up before you leave the room, next time okay?" she spoke a little harshly at her daughter, but suddenly looked guilty. "It's just, I woke up, and you weren't there..."

"Okay mommy."

"Okay."

"Waffles?" Cassie offered, she now had a few stacked on a plate for them to dish out.

"You want waffles Bailey?" Meredith pulled a chair out for her son and patted the bottom. "C'mon, climb on the chair."

"Waffles!" Bailey exclaimed.

"Yeah, yummy huh?" Meredith said, sitting down next to her boy. Cassie noted that Bailey had Meredith's familiar features, except for deep blue eyes.

"Zola was just telling me about how her auntie made waffles," Cassie offered.

"What? Oh. Yeah, Amelia makes great waffles."

"Did you want some strawberries on those?"

Meredith's gaze landed on the whip cream and strawberries and she sighed. "Maybe on Bailey's, I think I'll just take mine plain right now."

"Alright."

"Mommy, when are we goin' home... I wanna see Amy and Maggie and Sof." Zola asked.

Meredith put her fork down before even taking a bite of her waffle. "I... I don't know Zola."

"Why mommy?"

"Zola... eat your waffle. And later we'll find something to do, maybe go to a park or something. Would you like that?"

"Okay." The little girl resigned.

"Momma, where daddy?" Bailey asked.

Meredith sighed and touched the top of Bailey's head. "Well, daddy was hurt very very badly, and... his body didn't work anymore. So he... died. He's not here anymore."

Cassie's heart broke for Meredith, so she turned away as if to give her more privacy. She cleaned up around the kitchen and put some coffee on for Meredith. She suspected she was a coffee person.

"He not here?"

"No, and he's not coming back sweetie, I'm sorry."

"But where?"

"He's dead. Bailey. You're not going to see him anymore."

"I wanna see him."

"I know. Later I can show you some pictures okay? Would you like to see some pictures?

"No." Bailey said, stabbing the waffle with his fork.

Meredith took over his plate and started to cut the waffle into small pieces. "Here, finish your waffle," she said

"Mommy," Zola piped up. "Can I draw a pwicture of daddy later?"

"Sure, we can do that." Meredith picked at her waffle. She'd eaten half of it but pushed the plate away. "Cassie, the bathroom?"

"Down the hall, first door on the right."

"Can you-" she nodded to the kids.

"Of course."

Meredith quickly left the kitchen.

xxx

She made it there just in time. After she finished puking up the fresh remnants of her waffle, she sat down on the floor, rubbing her collarbone. her head was spinning, not from the nausea, but from the questions. She took the time to breathe and gather herself. She'd forgotten about the questions. In the car yesterday, she'd begun to prepare herself... but the accident caught her off guard. And now... "What am I doing?" She muttered. "What did I do?"

She rememembered what happened when Zola was taken away. She remembered hiding in the hospital basement, just holding Zola and smelling her hair. Afraid. Just so anxious and afraid that she'd lose it all. Thinking how everything got so screwed up, and hoping that maybe just staring into a child's eyes would fix things.

Now she had lost. Not all... but enough. She'd lost enough, but when she looked into her kids eyes, she just saw questions, questions with difficult answers that didn't always make sense to a two and four year old.

She remembered her mother leaving thatcher. And now she understood Ellis like she never wished to.

Time. Meredith just needed a little time, to think, to breathe, to prepare.

She pulled some toilet paper off the roll and wiped her eyes and nose. She splashed water on her face, rinsed her mouth and washed her hands. She stared at herself in the mirror. "Okay."

The now... she had to live in the now. It was the only way.

xxx

"Meredith," Cassie called knocking the door to her room. She smiled when Meredith opened it. "I thought you might need a couple more shirts," she said, handing her a few of her folded items. "How is everything going? Can I help in some way?"

Meredith accepted the clothing. "Um."

"My cousin Abigail is picking me up, we can take you into town... you probably have some things you need to take care of." Cassie hinted.

"That would be nice..." Meredith acquiesed, "Thank you."

"Good, I'll be leaving in fifteen minutes, is that enough time?"

Meredith shot a glance at her kids, "Yeah... I think so."

"Okay." Cassie nodded and turned to walk down the hall.

"Why?" It seemed to slip out of Meredith's mouth before she had a chance to stop it. "Why are you so nice to me?"

Cassie looked at her and carefully considered her next words. "I know what it's like to lose..." she said softly remembering her own husband, her own pain. "I know what its like to fall. It was an accident Meredith, but Middleton is a safe place to crash into. Believe me, I know."

The other woman seemed to be at a loss for words and simply gaped, then closed the door to get ready.

xxx

The drive had been quiet, and they dropped Meredith off at the pharmacy in the professional center. Abigail had offered to keep Bell, Book, and Candle open for her so she went by to help open up before she would be going to see Grace in Blairville. As she unlocked the front door and pushed it open, she felt a crunch under her boot.

She'd forgotten about the statue she dropped yesterday. Frowning, Cassie bent down to look at the pieces. A shepherd. It'd been a statue of a shepherd.

Meredith's kids were named Shepherd.

What did it mean?

xxx

 _Although she'd berated the girls before about their gossiping, Carolyn found herself drawn to the house beside the Grey House. The Grey house had been abandoned some time ago, and the town had boarded up the windows and barred the doors. The house beside it, however, was the home of Phyllis Shepherd. She didn't know much, but with a little prodding from her mother, she learned that Phyllis had three children and they moved away. One of them, her only son, got married here before moving with his wife. Where, she did not know. But apparently, her son had a son, and now he was here._

 _She got off her bike and parked it beside the cast iron fence. Carefully she opened the gate, cringing at the loud squeak. She thought she'd see Michael at school, but he was a no show. Who was this mysterious boy? Where were his parents? She pulled on the straps of her bookbag and gathered her courage._

 _Phyllis Shepherd was known as a strange woman, but wasn't every old lady? She just had to go ahead. Just go and knock on the door. Just go._

 _She knocked. Three sharp staccato beats. She waited, tapping her foot nervously. After what seemed like too long a wait, she knocked again. No answer. Carolyn released a sigh and chewed her lip. Slowly she spun on her heel and walked down the steps._

" _Carolyn?" Michael called, halting her in her tracks. "What are you doing here?"_

" _That's funny," she said, turning around. "I was gonna ask you the same thing..."_

xxx

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Curious as to what people think of the Carolyn storyline... Please review!


	6. Another Baby? Seriously?

**A/N:** Wow! Thanks everybody for your response to last chapter! Thanks for reading! An early update... cause I had the day off and I'm bored! (or maybe procrastinating ;-) Anyway, please enjoy! Thanks to mandyg67, Patsy, greysfannn and Kaitlyn for your comments.

Enjoy!

Cassie smiled as she saw Grace sitting up in bed. "Hey honey," she said, giving her daughter a gentle hug. "I missed you."

Grace smiled back. "It was pretty weird sleeping in this hospital bed, but I'm okay."

"That's good." Cassie said. Her daughter had always been resiliant. Grace truly was her namesake. "I brought some of your things... Your ipod, some books, clothes, your toothbrush..." she walked around the room, setting the items in place.

"Oh good, I was getting so bored," Grace rolled her eyes.

Typical teenager, Cassie thought. She sat down on the bed beside her daughter and stroked her cheek. "I'm so glad you're okay," she said. She'd been scared, last night knowing that her daughter was here and she wasn't, had been hard. But there was a reason for that.

"Me too."

"So... how did you know about Meredith?" Cassie asked, wrinkling her nose slightly.

"You found her?" Grace's eyes widened in excitement.

"She's staying at Grey House."

"What! Really?"

Cassie nodded, feeling Grace's excitement. "Yup. There's something... I don't know... she lost her husband Grace..."

"Yeah... I felt that."

"You did?"

"When she was in the car with me, I looked into her eyes... and I saw..." she shook her head. "Someone loved her very much. But he's gone."

"I know."

"So what are we going to do?" Grace asked.

"I don't know." Cassie replied, and for once... she really had no clue.

xxx

Meredith walked into the pharmacy. Her shoulder ached. It started this morning. She supposed the ointment had worn off. Well, it would be a few minutes and then she would have her medication. She fished around in her purse for the prescription, and then realized she left it at the bed and breakfast. No way, she sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Stupid. Whimpering softly, she tried to think of what to do next. She supposed she would have to go pick up her rental, and then she could drive back on her own to pick it up and come back...

As she left the pharmacy, though, she saw a doctors office. Hope sprang in her. Maybe the doctor here could write a new prescription? She took Zola's hand, who took Bailey's and walked down the hall.

The doctor's office was clean and bright and she walked up to the young blonde receptionist. "Hi, um... I was wondering if you do walk-ins? I um, seem to have lost my prescription and-"

"Meredith Grey," a familiar voice called.

Her head snapped up in the direction of the voice and she saw the doctor from the hospital. "Huh?"

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure if you got my message."

"Message?" she asked.

"I called, but your phone was turned off. So I left a message on your voicemail."

"You called?"

He smiled, seemingly amused by her repeating.

"Follow me..." he said.

Confused, numb, Meredith followed, Zola and Bailey quietly trailing her.

He opened the door to an exam room and gestured for her to sit on the examining table, helping her up.

"I don't believe I introduced myself last time. I'm Dr. Sam Radford."

"Dr. Radford, what is this about?" Meredith asked. Why did he need to call her? How did he have her number?

Dr. Radford sat on his stool. Bailey whined, wanting to be next to his mother and the doctor easily picked him up and placed him beside her. Zola seemed curious about the room, so he handed her his stethoscope to play with.

"How are you feeling Meredith? he asked.

"Well – actually, this is going to sound stupid... I lost my painkiller prescription so that's why I'm here, I..."

"Oh." Dr. Radford said. He stood up and examined her collarbone. She flinched as he ran his fingers along the bruise.

He reached for the blood pressure cuff and took her blood pressure. "Mm hm," he said, marking a chart. "Anything else? Any nausea or fatigue? Dizziness?"

"Well I have been throwing up, but that was before-" She stopped herself midsentence. It was like a key was turning a lock in her mind. Click. "Wait-what?" Nausea? Dizziness? Fatigue? Click.

"Meredith, you left before your lab results came back. According to the blood test results, you are five weeks pregnant," Dr. Radford said, holding up a piece of paper on a clipboard.

Click!

Her heart hammered so hard in her chest, she thought it would explode. "Five weeks?..." Meredith stammered. It made sense now, the throwing up, the fatigue... but- she shook her head. "No...I can't be... I have a hostile uterus... I mean Bailey was- he was-" _a miracle._ "I can't be..." _Not without Derek..._

Dr. Radford handed her the lab results. "I can do another test if you like," he said sincerely.

Meredith stared at the page, reading the results over and over. "Um..." _If something happens to me... I don't want you to be alone..._

 _Well, we would make pretty babies..._

 _I want this... I want us... I want more..._

 _Another Baby? Seriously?_

"Meredith..." Sam said, touching her arm. "Are you all right?"

She saw genuine concern in his eyes, and she swallowed. At this very second, she didn't know what to feel or think. "I'm dreaming. I'm really in a coma right? I mean is this real? Is this happening? Bailey is still working on toilet training... and-" _I don't have a husband... Or anyone..._

"Momma, down." Bailey said, pointing to the floor. Dr. Radford picked him up and put him down. Meredith watched him as he toddled over to Zola to play with the stethoscope in her hands.

"Is there someone I can call?" Dr. Radford asked.

She had to admit, he was a good doctor. He never questioned or judged her reaction. He was patient and kind. She handed him back the paper. "No... I'm uh, I'll be okay... it's just unexpected." She rubbed her clavicle, unconsciously reminding him of the other reason she was here.

"Let me write you a prescription for some Tylenol 3's for your shoulder, and Zofran for the nausea, just take one pill in the morning." He scribbled on his prescription pad and handed it to her. "You should probably make an appointment with your family doctor in a few weeks."

"Yeah..." Meredith sighed. She wiped her eyes and inhaled deeply. She was sinking, slowly sinking, and she wanted so hard to swim. She had to. "C'mon kids, lets go." Meredith held out a hand for Zola to grasp. Dr Radford helped her with the door and followed her down the hall. Before she left, she turned to the doctor. "Dr. Radford?"

"Hm?" he looked up from his clipboard.

"Thanks."

He dipped his head in a nod. "You're welcome."

xxx

Still reeling from the news, Meredith wandered to the pharmacy where she showed the pharmacist her prescription. "It will be a few minutes," the clerk said, and Meredith nodded numbly. "Momma can we have some candies?" Zola asked, pointing to a colorful bag hanging right at eye level for a child.

"No," she said, not sure if she could handle sugar-hopped kids today.

"But mommy..."

"No sweetie, we'll have something later okay? Remember I said we'd go to the park?"

"Okay..." Zola sighed.

"Thanks Zola." She remembered to say, knowing that her daughter was also trying to cope with this situation. There was some chairs, but she felt restless, so she paced, and somehow without realizing it, she was in the baby aisle, staring at little bottles of baby oil and pacifiers and bibs.

A lump rose in her throat and she looked away, walking further down the aisle. She stopped when she came to the end. A row of teddy bears faced her. One of the bears was small and white, and written on his chest was the words _Congratulations on your new baby!_ She was pregnant. Freaking pregnant!

"Stupid boy penis..." she muttered under her tears as she picked the bear up. Staring at it, feeling the soft fur... she couldn't put it down.

"Meredith Grey?" The pharmacist called, and she whipped around to face the desk. The medication was placed in a little white paper bag beside the cash register.

Meredith didn't realize until she left the pharmacy that she'd purchased the bear.

xxx

 _Michael took Carolyn's hand and led her away from the house, actually behind the house. She followed him curiously, her white runners getting covered in mud as they followed a path through the woods and down a hill... but she didn't care, because, well, ever since she met him... she felt drawn to him. She'd tried to deny it, but it was there, this feeling of... everything!_

" _Where are we going?" she asked after a couple minutes._

" _Not far." He said. They reached a steep embankment, and a small creek wound it's way down below. He sidestepped down, holding her hand and helping her down until they reached the creek. Then he followed it upstream a little until they came to a worn old bridge that crossed the creek. Michael walked to the middle, sighed, and sat down, his long legs just skimming the surface of the bubbly water below._

 _She brushed dirt off the bridge and carefully sat beside him, trying to avoid splinters. When he looked at her, she knew not to press him. He would talk, eventually. She leaned back and swung her legs a little, the bottom of her shoes skiffing the water._

" _My mom..." Michael said, swallowing. He cleared his throat. "My mom... got really sick. After my dad died. She got really sick..."_

" _Oh, Michael..."_

" _It was awhile ago... and my Aunt thought I should come here for awhile, New York was..." He shook his head. "He grew up here you know? My dad. Grandma said he made this bridge... I like to come here because it's quiet. I like the quiet."_

" _Hmm." Carolynn agreed. There was nothing more to say. What do you say to that? She'd been ready to ball him out for not going to school, or for being dirty, or for avoiding things but now... she was staring grief in the face and she didn't know what to do with it. So she just stared at the smooth flowing stream below her._

 _Michael shifted, digging his hands in his pocket, he pulled something out. What was it? It was a yellow metal cylinder. Like a watch, but bigger. He flipped it open, it thrummed with a metallic sounding ring. It was a compass._

" _Can I see?" she asked._

 _He handed it to her without a word and she turned it over in her hands reverently. On the back, A simple inscription read, 'To Find Your Way Home, J.C.S.' "Isn't it supposed to point north?" she asked, watching the dial spin one way and then the other._

" _Yeah... I broke it." he said._

" _Oh. Well maybe we could get it fixed."_

 _He looked at her, and she fell into his deep gaze. All of him... she could see all of him there in those eyes. "It can't be fixed," he said softly._

" _But-" she started, but Michael was looking at her again, looking into her too... and then his gaze fell a little further down, to her lips, and she couldn't help but look at his lips too. Magnetically, she leaned closer to him. She felt his breath on her skin and her heart raced. When their lips touched, it was like a surge of lightning struck her and she gasped. The 'everything' she felt before? She knew what it was..._

 _She loved him._

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please review! Also feel free to check out my other stories if you wish... I promise you'll be in for a good read!


	7. Sue Me!

**A/N:** Thanks for your support readers! Special thanks to mandyg67, greysfannn, Patsy, pat, TheDoctorPieMaker, and Jackiiiieeee111. I'm glad you like this story!

To pat, I think Meredith will be a guest at the Grey house for awhile... hopefully for her betterment!

Without further ado...

 _It was the eve of her eighteenth birthday, but Carolyn didn't feel like celebrating. She was staring at the letter in her hand..._

" _What is it?" Michael asked, "What's wrong?" he pushed her strawberry milkshake closer to her as he swiveled his stool to see her._

" _Oh, I-" she folded the letter and shook her head, offering a smile at her boyfriend. "It's nothing." She didn't know how to tell him. How do you tell the love of your life that you're leaving? That you are going to go- and do more than the both of you ever imagined. Michael never finished school, he worked as a stock boy at The Russell's family store. He didn't have any special inheritance._

 _But Carolyn worked hard in school, and she dreamed of being a nurse... and the Navy had offered her a placement at the academy in their nursing program. All she had to do was write back and accept._

 _But then she'd be leaving him._

" _Carolyn..." Michael pulled the paper from her fingertips and unfolded it. He pushed a few of his dark locks out of his eyes, and she wondered if this would be the last time she'd see him do that. "Oh..." he said, "You got accepted."_

" _Mike," she started, preparing for the worst._

" _Well... you need to go," he said, smiling. "You need to do this."_

" _But what about-"_

 _He picked up her hand and kissed it. "I'm not going anywhere..."_

xxx

Meredith shuffled Zola and Bailey into the crowded bistro. She'd gotten her rental, started her claim with the insurance company, then she'd done some quick shopping for some basic necessities, as she wasn't sure when she'd be able to get back to her Lexus and get all her stuff out.

Now she wanted to sit down and relax.

"What do you think Zola? Hot chocolate?" She asked as she stared at the menu.

"Uh huh," her daughter nodded, her eyes large with curiousity.

"Okay," Meredith said. Hot chocolate for Zola, and juice for Bailey, and...Mocha latte, definitely. But maybe just a small considering what was now resting in her uterus.

"Hello!" The cheerful blonde woman behind the counter greeted. "What can I get you?"

She was too cheerful. Arizona cheerful... she was like a cross between Izzie and Arizona, considering all the baked goods behind the counter.

As she gave her order, Meredith couldn't help but feel she was being watched, and through the corner of her eye she saw people staring and whispering. She tried to shrug it off, she must be a strange sight in this oh-so- perfect town, all beat up and bruised. She took her tray with her food and drinks and looked around for a spot to sit.

The only table big enough for three was in the middle, so she directed her children there. "Here," she said, handing Zola her hot chocolate. "Careful, it's hot." She'd bought a sandwich and soup too, and cut the sandwich in half for Bailey and Zola to share. But she still felt their eyes on her. People whispering, pointing-

"Isn't she-"

"Martha said-"

"Poor Cassie-"

Meredith focused on buttering her bun. Which was hard to do when your right hand was in a sling. She helped Bailey with his juice. But it just kept coming... the whispers were like little cuts in an already wounded heart.

"Grace is in the hospital in Blairville?"

"How did she miss that stop sign-"

Too much, on top of everything else.

 _You sound just like your mothe_ _r..._

 _You could do worse than compare me to a brilliant surgeon, but you meant it in the sense that I am cold and ambitious and selfish, a horrible wife and mother. I got that._

 _Do you know why I resent you? Because you've never had my back on this, not since the day I told you I would stay. I told you that you and the kids were more important. You have been determined to prove me wrong, that this is the wrong choice._

 _Well you should just go then...Call the president and take the job back._

 _Those must be the papers. The papers you want me to sign to decide what to do with my husband. Now that he's dead, but not really dead... Stop all curative intervention, discontinue all routine monitoring, remove all the catheters, drains, and tubes, end any and all treatments that might provide comfort to the patient. Terminate all life-sustaining measures and behave as any sane doctor would behave. Does that about cover it, Doctor? Is that what you want to talk to me about while I sit here with my sleeping children? You want to talk about killing my husband? Give me the papers!_

 _Where are we going, mommy?_

 _It was you... You're the one who hit my sister... how did you not see that stop sign?_

 _Where dadda momma?_

 _You're five weeks pregnant._

Every time Meredith glanced up, someone seemed to be looking at her, saying something, gawking at the latest trainwreck to roll into town. She couldn't even enjoy her meal, Something Dark and Twisty uncoiled in her.

Meredith put her spoon down and shot up out of her chair, " _You know,_ if you have something to say to me, why don't you just say it to my face?" She snarled. "Yeah, I screwed up, I hit Grace. _I hit her._ It was an accident and I've already apologized. So I don't need your petty gossiping. My children don't need to hear it. You got a problem? _Sue me!_ "

A hush fell upon the room. Meredith choked on a sob as she glared at the gaping onlookers. Heat flamed her cheeks and she drew in a painful breath. She looked at Zola, who stared at Meredith over her sandwhich, sort of aware that something weird was going on. _Crap._ "Zola, put your coat on honey..."

"But I not finished..." Zola said, holding up her sandwich.

Meredith scrabbled at the napkin holder. "We'll take it with us..." she said, trying to wrap her half of the sandwich with one hand. "Bailey, we're going to go," she picked up his juice box.

"No!" Bailey shouted, reaching for his juice.

"I'll get you more later okay?"

"Mommy, I'm still hungry..." Zola whined.

"I said we'll finish it later, Zola, now put your coat on."

 _Did you bring Zola's coat? You forgot last time..._

"I don't want to go, I want to stay here..."

"We're going Zola. You don't have a choice. Now either you bring your food with you, or you go hungry, now come on, put your coat on."

"But mommy," she protested.

Meredith was making a worse situation even worse. But she couldn't stop herself. Everyone was staring, _Look at the crazy woman who hit Grace. Can you believe she's even a mother?_ "Zola, we're going!"

"Want juice!" Bailey grabbed his juice from her hand, but it slipped and spilled all over the floor. Then he started to cry.

 _And now I have to raise my daughter alone._

She couldn't handle it... it was almost too much. She shoved Zola's wrapped sandwich in her pocket, pulled Zola's coat on her, yanking too hard as she did so, and grabbed Bailey's hand. "Let's go." she said, knowing if she took Bailey, Zola would follow.

"Mom!" Zola called.

Bailey cried and tugged his arm, attempting to pull away, but Meredith only gripped him tighter, causing him to yelp in pain. "Let's go!"

She stormed out of the cafe and practically shoved Zola and Bailey in the backseat of the rental before she got in herself and slammed the door shut. Bailey screamed, Zola complained, and Meredith did mental acrobatics just to pull herself together. She ignored her kids carefully packing away every thought and emotion that was running through her while she stared ahead. She was terrified and mortified and sad and angry all at once, but- She was pregnant. She was a widow. She was a mother. She couldn't melt down. She couldn't break.

 _She was fine._

A sudden rapping at her window startled her. Dr Radford leaned over, motioning for her to roll her window down.

"What?" she almost snapped at him.

"Is... everything alright?" he asked with obvious concern.

"Fine. I'm fine."

"Mm hm," he said in that tone that said he didn't believe her.

She didn't want his pity. "Is there a park around here?" she asked.

"Yeah... just down the street, on the right."

She nodded and began to roll the window up.

"Meredith... if there's anything- if you want to talk-" he started, but she didn't wait for him to finish. She was going to the park.

xxx

Sam had just left his office to go to the bistro for lunch, and was halfway up the steps when Meredith Grey burst out, dragging her son behind her, her daughter calling after her in a panic. She didn't even acknowledge him as she stormed past.

"Let's go!" she said harshly to her daughter.

He didn't think twice about it until he walked inside, craving a fresh turkey sandwich and some delicious broccoli soup.

The entire lunch crowd was in hushed silence, while Stephanie, the restaurant owner cleaned up some spilled juice and an untouched mocha latte.

"What just happened?" he asked nobody in particular.

Everyone murmured this and that and seemed eager to pretend that nothing happened at all, but he knew that wasn't the truth. He turned to Stephanie. "Well?" he asked.

"Umm..." Stephanie looked down at her dishes as she avoided his gaze.

"Someone better tell me why I just saw one of my patients dragging her children out of here like she'd been chased by wolves."

"People noticed and thought... well they were talking about how-"

Sam immediately understood. People had heard that Meredith was the one that hit Grace. Obviously her attempt to have a peaceful meal with her kids had been ruined by the small minded crowd.

"Oh, I get it..." He said. he took a few more steps into the cafe. "You all should be ashamed of yourselves, treating her like some kind of pariah. It was an accident. It could have been any one of you. And you know what? Under the circumstances, _Dr._ Grey did more than necessary to help Grace, even leaving her children to ride in the back of a police car while she took care of her in the ambulance. So you don't get to judge," he said before he marched out the door to see if she was okay.

He found her in a small black rental, her kids safely strapped in their seats, but crying and complaining while she stared into space, her eyes red and glazed with unshed tears. It was like she was trying hard not to fall apart. _Good God,_ he thought, what had they done to her in there?

After he spoke to her, he watched her drive away and wondered if it was more than just the accident that was upsetting her.

 _Probably hormones,_ he thought. _Right?_

xxx

Cassie pushed Grace in her wheelchair into the patient lounge. "I called Nick, he'll be over to see you after school," she said, remarking on her daughter's friend.

"That would be great," Grace said as she twirled a bit of her hair.

"Uh, huh..." Cassie said, smiling.

"Mom, we're just friends."

"Mmm hmm."

"Mom!"

"What? I believe you, okay?" But she couldn't help but feel that there could be something more between the two if they wanted it. If they recognized it.

Grace just shook her head. Cassie parked the chair in front of a table with a deck of cards and a few board games, looking for something for them to do. She pulled up a chair to sit down, but was interrupted-

"Grace! There you are!"

The mother daughter pair turned to the entrance to see Martha bustle in, "I was worried when you weren't in your room, but I am glad you're all right."

"Martha!" Cassie exclaimed, surprised that the Mayor had come all the way to Blairville to visit Grace. "What are you doing here?"

"Why, I came to visit Grace of course... Abigail made up a beautiful bouquet dear, it's in your room..."

"You didn't have to do that," Grace said.

"Nonsense, besides, I have business with the Mayor of Blairville. We're discussing the upcoming Festival of Lights."

"Oh, well it's nice of you to drop by," Cassie said.

"Yeah," Grace added.

"Oh, Martha, since you're here, I wanted to ask you... do you remember a family that lived here a long time ago? The Shepherd's?"

"Oh... there was an old woman... Phyllis... Her children moved away, but her grandson came back for awhile." She frowned, "I was a flower girl at his wedding when he married one of the Maloney girls. Then they moved away... New York, I think. Why?"

Cassie shook her head, "No reason, just heard the name." But she saw Grace's concerned gaze. _I'll explain later,_ she said with her eyes to her daughter.

"Now that you mention it, Phyllis lived right beside the Grey House," Martha added thoughtfully.

"Hm," Cassie replied. Her phone buzzed. It was Sam. She was going to let it go to voicemail, but Grace nudged her.

"Mom, I think you should answer that," she said. "And it's okay if you have to go, Nick will be here soon."

"Nick? Nick Radford? Middleton's newest scoundrel?" Martha was saying as Cassie left the lounge.

xxx

Meredith did end up buying them candy. It was the only thing to keep them quiet and behaving. At least for now. Meredith sat on the bench, watching Bailey and Zola run around at the park and tried not to fall apart.

 _Breathe_

It was an accident, right? There was nothing she could've done differently... except taken her sunglasses. Except stay home, in Seattle, where everybody was, where her home was. Or maybe she should've moved to D.C with Derek like they'd planned... or maybe if she'd made him stay... even if they fought and argued all the time, that was better than dead. Anything was better than dead.

Now she was pregnant. And alone, and what the hell was she going to do? She could barely parent the two she had now... now there was another one? She felt like she was on a bungee cord, her thoughts and feelings bouncing into the future and then plunging into the past. It was overwhelming.

"God, I'm an idiot..." she muttered, wiping her still wet eyes.

"Meredith?" A soft voice called.

Meredith turned to see Cassie coming toward her. She sniffed and squared her shoulders, trying to appear like nothing had happened. Normal."Hi," she managed, swallowing.

Cassie sat down beside her. "Hi," she replied.

Meredith looked back to her kids, back to Zola trying to pull herself into a swing and Bailey digging a hole in the sand and waited for the inevitable question.

"Are you okay?"

 _I'm fine._ "No," the word betrayed her, but she couldn't hold it in anymore, the wall she'd been carefully building all this time was paper thin and couldn't hold back the deluge of guilt and blame and self hatred. "No," Meredith squeaked before she burst into tears and painful sobs.

"Oh Meredith..."

She felt herself pulled toward Cassie and couldn't pull away, couldn't fight. Part of her didn't want to.

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please review!


	8. No Running

**A/N:** Hello again readers! A Halloween update! How about that! Did anyone catch the Good Witch special, _The Enchantress Unites?_ How fascinating! Anywho... I haven't given up on this, Thanks to my wonderful fans.

Thanks to: Jackiiiieeee111, Patsy, mandyg67 and kit for your reviews.

Please Enjoy, while I go and work on my other story, **A Fight to Remember.**

" _I dare you..." Michael grinned to Carolyn. "C'mon, one last adventure before you run off..." He swung her hand as they approached the iron gate._

" _Why would I break into somebody's house? That's ridiculous! Especially THAT HOUSE. I hear it's haunted!" Carolyn exclaimed._

" _It's not haunted," Michael scoffed. "That's just some old story people made up."_

 _She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. "Why do I let you talk me into such things..."_

 _He waggled his eyebrows to match his conniving grin. "Because you love me..."_

 _She responded with a playful smack to his upper arm._

" _Ow!" He cried, rubbing his arm._

" _Michael Shepherd, I love you so much it hurts."_

" _Now I hurt!"_

" _Good, now you know how it feels." She remarked loudly._

" _Let me make it better," he said leaning in and pulling her close to him. "Love doesn't always have to hurt." He said softly in her ear before kissing it._

 _She giggled and turned to take him fully on her lips. He was right, it didn't have to hurt. But right now it did. She'd be moving away to the other side of the country for school. And though he said he would wait, she was trying really hard not to get her hopes up. He was just a boy. And she was just a girl. Right?_

xxx

Cassie watched Meredith asleep on the couch, her good arm wrapped tightly around her stomach with her legs curled up such that she only took up one cushion. Her son, Bailey, took up the other two cushions, sleeping flat on his stomach, arms and legs spread wide. Her daughter, Zola, was awake and lay on the floor quietly drawing a picture.

She couldn't believe what happened earlier that day. How had everyone become so inconsiderate? Didn't they recognize someone in pain? She had hoped, at least for a little while, that Meredith could find a haven here from whatever it was that she was running from, but this sort of thing happening was discouraging. What was worse, she had no idea how to fix it. Which had never happened before. Usually her second sense kicked in, and she was able to see what was needed for each person that happened to land here... but not Meredith Grey.

"Hey Cassie, come and help me with this..." She heard George call from the front door.

"Oh, coming George," she said. She put her tea down and greeted him at the door. "What's all this?" she asked, gesturing to the suitcases and bags he'd piled at the door.

"It's Miss Grey's. Fred at the autobody shop said the insurance company left it for her to pick up, but they couldn't reach her by phone, so he just let me bring it here for her."

"Oh, Okay," Cassie smiled. Meredith would be happy to get her stuff back. She picked up a suitcase and a large shopping bag full of odds and ends and followed him upstairs. As she reached the last step, she stumbled and the bag flew out of her hand, landing hard on the floor and spilling its contents on the rug. "Ohh." Cassie sighed, and bent down to put everything back.

It was the usual items, a hairbrush, lip gloss, a notebook and pen, a cheap romance novel... Cassie gasped when she saw the family picture. Meredith in a hospital bed holding a newborn, which was obviously Bailey, judging by the deflated pregnancy bump and her very happy smile. Standing beside her with Zola was also a very proud father, his dark hair sticking out around his ears as he grinned at the camera.

Cassie carefully put the picture back in the bag before noticing something else on the floor. Another photo? She picked it up, no it wasn't a photo, it was something much more precious. Vows.

 _To Love each other even when we hate each other._

 _No running._

 _Take care when old, senile, and smelly._

 _And it's forever,_

 _Meredith Grey._

 _Derek Shepherd._

The photo frame the post-it rested in was broken, but when she looked around for shards of glass she saw none. She realized it must have broken before the accident. Cassie put it back in the bag and brought it and the suitcase to Meredith's room. Thinking carefully, she put the bag on Meredith's bed where she would see it before heading back downstairs.

xxx

 _Meredith sat on the couch, unable to concentrate. She hadn't heard from him all day... something was wrong, really really wrong. She looked at the clock. Four-fifty. Ten more minutes. Ten minutes and then she could freak out, ten minutes..._

 _She gasped and clutched at her chest when there was a knock at the door. Oh God, who could it be? she wondered as she padded to the door. Without even looking out the window she yanked the door open. Her breath caught in her throat. "Derek!" she choked._

" _Hey," he said, with a stupid grin. "Sorry I was gone so long... I forgot my keys." He gazed at her apologetically before stroking her cheek and drawing her close to him for a deep kiss. "I'm here. I'm okay." He reassured, and he pulled her in tighter to him. Oh, she was so glad... she smiled and wrapped her arms around his solid body, breathing in the faint masculine scent of him._

" _Oh thank God, I was worried sick... " she murmured into his neck._

Meredith woke slowly, like coming through a fog. Something warm and wet slid down her cheeks and she sniffed. She realized she was crying. She sniffed again and wiped her face before opening her eyes.

The first thing she saw was Zola and Bailey sitting on the floor, coloring with the crayons and paper she'd picked up at the dollar store. They didn't know she was awake yet, so she watched them quietly.

"Lellow," Bailey was saying, holding up a green crayon.

"That's not yellow, that's green," Zola said. She fished through the pile of crayons and pulled out a yellow one. " _This_ is yellow," she offered it to him.

Bailey considered the crayon Zola held before picking up a blue crayon. "Lellow," he said.

" _No,_ this is yellow!" Zola exclaimed, dangling the yellow crayon in front of his face.

Bailey pushed the blue crayon in front of his sister's face. "Lellow!" he said defiantly.

"No... aw Bailey, you're so silly!" Zola slapped her forehead in an exaggerrated fashion, causing Meredith to giggle.

"Mommy!" Zola grinned, "You're awake!" she stood up and dashed toward her.

"I am," Meredith said, smiling. She uncurled her stiff limbs to embrace her daughter. "Come here, lovebug."

"Momma!" Bailey dropped his crayons and clambered onto the couch to get a piece of her too.

"We drawded pictures mommy," Zola said, pointing to the floor.

"I see that," Meredith said, glancing at the mess of scribbled-on papers. When she looked up, she saw Cassie in the chaise lounge, looking at her from over her book.

"They were very good kids," she said. "I didn't want to wake you, it seemed like you needed the rest."

"Thanks. They _are_ good kids. They-" They were everything. They held her together. She was growing one inside her right now. She sighed, "They're good kids."

Cassie nodded knowingly.

Meredith remembered another kid. Cassie's kid. "How's Grace? She doing okay?"

Cassie smiled. "She's getting better," she said. "She's bored out of her mind... but she's doing just fine. Sam said she'll be home in a couple days."

"Oh, that's good then." Meredith nodded as she nudged Bailey to keep him from pressing on her collarbone. He made a frustrated noise before plopping on the floor to play with the crayons. Zola remained in her arms, chewing on a finger, gazing at Cassie curiously.

"Yeah." Cassie put her book down. "Um, George picked up your suitcases and things," she said. "They're in your room."

Meredith blinked, processing what Cassie just said. Her things... "Oh." Her things. Her clothes. Her kid's clothes. All her things that she brought with her from _home._ Home. Where was home now? Without Derek... she didn't feel at home anywhere.

Soon, she'd have to find _home_ again. She rubbed her thigh with her good arm. "Well, maybe I'll just... uh-" she had this urge to be alone, to just think for a moment, what to do next. "Take a look, make sure..." she trailed off as she stood up.

"You know..." Cassie said, smiling at Zola and Bailey, "Maybe they would like some jello?"

"Jello?" Bailey asked Meredith.

"Mommy, can we have jello?" Zola asked.

"I think... that's a great idea." She kissed her daughter's head. "Go ahead you guys... I'll come see you in a little bit."

Cassie led the kids to the kitchen, and Meredith walked carefully up the stairs to her room. Parked neatly beside her bed were three suitcases and a couple of bags of random things. She sat on the bed and rubbed her collarbone, picking up the bag that rested there.

The post-it.

She'd forgotten about the post-it. How could she forget that she brought it with her? "Oh... Derek," she said. "I'm sorry..."

 _ **To Love each other even when we hate each other.**_

"I love you so much... I never stopped, I could never-"

 _I love you too._

"Even when you hate me?"

 _I've loved you... forever._

 _ **To take care when old and senile and smelly.**_

"I guess you don't have to worry about that part." she sniffed.

 _I'm here. I'm always here, watching over you. You're not alone._

She chuckled. "You're not gonna believe this... We're having a baby."

 _I know... It's amazing._

"Who am I gonna get hormonal around huh? What about my weird food cravings?"

 _You'll be fine._

A loose tear dripped down her cheek as she looked down at the post-it.

 _ **No Running.**_

"What am I doing here Derek? Why did I-? I left. I just left, like my mother. And now I'm freaking pregnant. How do I- How do I raise three kids? I'm scared," Her hand pressed against her womb, "I'm so scared... what if I lose the baby? I can't..." she felt her throat constrict as she huffed and gasped for air as the possibility of having another miscarriage floated in her mind... "Oh God, Derek, why did you leave me? Why did you-" She was cleaved in half. Severed. Cut off from the one part that made her more than whole. Made her extraordinary. She clutched the broken frame to her chest. "What do I do?"

She looked at the post-it again.

 _ **No Running.**_

She had her answer.

xxx

Cassie dished the strawberry jello into cute little parfait cups. "You know what goes really great with jello?" she asked the kids.

"What?" Zola asked.

"A little spoonful of whipped cream," Cassie said, adding a dollop of white creamy goodness to the cup.

Zola's eyes went wide with excitement. "Ohh!" She grinned as she dug into the treat.

As Cassie added whip cream to Bailey's bowl, a faint knocking got her attention. She looked up to see Martha at the kitchen entrance.

"Martha, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Why is it that my car always seems to break down around your house?" she said. "Never you mind," she waved, "George is taking a look at it now."

"Oh good." Cassie said. "Can I offer you some tea?"

"That sounds marvelous dear, oh what a day... you wouldn't believe that Blairville Mayor..."

"Hmm..."

"Anyway, I found something that may interest you. My husband was working on the town archives, you know... sort of a pet project of his, and I came across this." She dug in her purse and pulled out a worn yellowed newspaper clipping.

Cassie put her spoon down and looked carefully at it. It was a wedding announcement:

 _Beverly and Patrick Maloney and Phyllis Ann Shepherd are pleased to announce the Wedding of daughter Carolyn Andrea Maloney to Grandson Michael James Christopher Shepherd, respectively. Wedding to take place at The Grey House on June 9. Potluck to follow... All are invited. For more details, please contact Beverly Maloney at the jewellery store._

"Isn't that amazing?" Martha asked, "The Grey House was still boarded up, but they fixed it up for the wedding... I don't know why they thought it was so special..." she trailed off, "Everyone thought it was haunted back then."

"Wow," Cassie said, amazed. "Can I keep this?"

"Of course." Martha said.

There was a few moments of tense silence as Martha and Cassie sipped her tea. Martha opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, then sighed.

Cassie looked up expectantly. "I'm sure you've heard what happened at the bistro today."

"I did..." Martha sighed. "Frankly, I'm ashamed. I know this is a small town prone to gossip, but she is a _guest,_ and deserving of a little Middleton hospitality."

"And?" Cassie prodded.

"I admit, I _may_ have played a little part in the spreading of said gossip, I was perhaps a little too passionate about what happened Grace to realize who I was speaking to. Or what I was saying."

"Hm."

Martha looked at Zola and Bailey. Zola had decided that her jello was much more fun to play with than to eat and was swirling the red jelly with the white cream, and Baily wore a good portion of the red jelly on his face. "Oh, she has adorable children."

"Yes, she does." Cassie smiled and rubbed Bailey's back.

"I suppose I must apologize to her. I can't have a guest leave Middleton with a bad experience."

"I think that's wise. She's right upstairs."

Martha nodded. "Well then," she said as she stood up.

"I'll come with you," Cassie said, picking up the newspaper clipping.

They left the kitchen, but there was no need to go upstairs. Meredith was already in the foyer with her suitcases and bags, her jacket covering her shoulders, just like the day she arrived at the Grey House.

"Meredith?" Cassie asked, a little shocked. She wasn't leaving was she?

But Martha barrelled over. "Meredith. Dr. Grey. We haven't been introduced. I'm Martha Tinsdale, Mayor of this fine town, and I just want to say... well, this town hasn't been very kind to you... and that is partly my fault. So I do apologize on behalf of my citizens... If Cassie accepts you, then I accept you. And If I accept you, then Middleton must accept you. If there is anything I can do-" She stopped, noticing the suitcases at Meredith's feet. "You aren't leaving already are you?"

"Um..." Meredith said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Well, I think I should go back to Seattle..."

Cassie ran her fingers over the rough newspaper. "Wait. Meredith, do you know a Carolyn Shepherd?"

 **A/N:** The plot thickens... Review!


	9. Married Here? Here, here?

**A/N:** Holy Crap! Wow, what a response last chapter! I'm glad this is making an impact on you guys... Thanks so much! Wasn't last Thursday's episode heartrending? So excited to see how season 13 will play out!

Anyway, thanks to: mandyg67, Jackiiiieeee111, greysfannn, Patsy, TheDoctorPieMaker, beetleboo52, Rhatch89, Kit, and Posie for all your comments!

 **Enjoy!**

 _Carolyn shook her head as Michael pried off one of the boards over the window with a crowbar. "I can't believe we're actually doing this..." She looked behind her suddenly, feeling goosebumps travel up her spine._

 _Michael hoisted himself into the house, "C'mon, it'll be fine. You'll never know what you may just find!"_

" _Mm hmm." she said, though she didn't quite believe him. He held his hand out for her to take, but she shook her head. "I'm not crawling through a window, Micahael James Shepherd. You can unlock the door for me."_

 _He chuckled, "Of course."_

 _There was some shuffling and noises. Carolyn stood in front of the door, her eyebrow raised in expectation. Finally, Michael opened the door for her, his eyes shining with awe. "You gotta see this..."_

 _She stepped in, her eyes sweeping through the grand front room. Yes, it was old and worn and dusty... but if one had the imagination, you could see it come to life... She imagined the faded rug a deep cherry red, and the scuffed cracked hardwood floors polished and stained in a delicious chestnut color. She could see pictures of regal family members hanging where rusted nails lay bare. Where the broken mirror was, she imagined a large oval decorative mirror, shining from the glint of silver polish on its surface. And the stairs... a floral patterened carpet, and as you walked up, your hand would grip the strong oak bannister._

" _It's..."_

" _Extroardinary, isn't it?" Michael said, taking her hand and leading her in a few more steps._

 _She breathed, and she felt like she was breathing in history. "It's..." Wonderful, awe inspiring, gorgeous, beautiful. Strong._

" _Mm," He said. And then he pulled her further in and turned around to face her. "Carolyn, I... there's something I want to say to you."_

 _Her heart skipped a beat. This was it wasn't it? He was going to let her go... be nice about it, say something like... you're lovely, and beautiful, **but** \- Right? She stared into his shining blue eyes, the eyes that had gripped her since she met him. _

_He smiled at her, softly, and she sucked in a breath. Quickly now Michael, get this off your chest, before I get any more attached, she thought. Just do it. "Yes?"_

 _He took in a deep breath. "I love you... I feel like... I've alway's loved you. Since before strawberry milkshakes and flat tires." He shook his head. "You just- you're here. With me. Nobody's done that before... and-" He cleared his throat and reached into his back pocket._

 _What? Wait- Carolyn thought, was he- he wasn't going to propose was he? Because that was- that would be- Wow! She trembled at the thought._

" _I love you. And you love me," Michael continued. "But you're going away, and I want to promise..." He pulled a thick object from behind him._

 _But it wasn't a ring._

 _It was his compass. He held it in both hands and opened it up, the needle spun around for a second, until it stopped at the 'N', which also pointed at Michael. He let out a little embarrassed giggle, "I, um can't afford a ring right now... but I got this fixed, and I want to promise to you, that you'll always find me. If you, um... want to," he shrugged, "Get married someday I mean..."_

 _She stared at the tarnished bronze compass. "You want to- I mean- you and I..." she gestured between them, "Married. You want to marry me?" she stumbled out._

 _Micheal nodded, "Yes. Yes!" He said, a big white smile lighting up his usual tanned features. Then he coughed. "Um... well if you want to-"_

" _Yes! Yes, Michael Shepherd! I do want to marry you!" Carolyn lept onto him, which was a mistake, because the floors on this old house were a little rotted, and as she lunged into Michael's arms, he stumbled back, and the weak floorboards gave way under his feet, sending the two of them into the unknown mysterious depths of the Grey House._

xxx

Meredith stared at the newspaper clipping. Those sharp eyes, that smile... that was definitely Carolyn Shepherd. And next to her was a man who looked way too much like her late husband. Derek's parents happened to get married here? Here here? And now she was here? What did this all mean?

"Meredith?" Cassie asked, stepping closer.

"I um uh..." she cleared her throat. She couldn't help but feel a little trapped by these well meaning people.

"You can't leave Middleton without giving us a chance to make things right," Martha insisted. "Do you know Carolyn? Are you related to her?"

Meredith shook her head in disbelief, she couldn't go anywhere... he was everywhere. There was a Derek shadow all around her. Was it good? Was it bad? She didn't know. She let go of the suitcases and put down her bags. "I'm gonna go check on my kids," she said, and darted to the kitchen.

Zola and Bailey were happily playing with their jiggly food. "Momma... wook!" Bailey said, putting a glob of red jello on his nose and tipping his head back. He shook his head slightly, causing the jello to wiggle back and forth.

Zola pointed and laughed outrageously. "Bailey's so silly mommy!" she said, a big smile on her face.

Meredith smiled too. "Bailey," she gently chastised, "Jello goes in your mouth, not on your nose..." she reached for a napkin and wiped his nose off. He just giggled in response, poking his finger into the cup and licking the sweet treat off his finger.

"Look at the picture I drawded," Zola said, pushing the jello stained picture in front of her.

"Oh..." Meredith said. It took her a minute to figure it out. "You're fishing with daddy."

"With my pink fishin' pole," she said.

"Yes, I see that, you had fun when you went with daddy didn't you?"

"Yes," Zola said, licking her spoon.

Meredith sighed. Idly, she spooned a little jello onto a plate. Like her kids she found herself playing with it rather than eating it. How did she do this? What was she supposed to do? She thought she should go back to Seattle, just suck it up and go there... but- now she didn't know, and she didn't know if she should stay here either. So she played with jello instead.

"Hey..." Cassie said, "Are you-"

" _Fine._ " Meredith interrupted. She hated that question, and she was done with crying, she was certainly not going to cry in front of her kids.

"I was going to ask if you were going to stay another night," Cassie said gently.

"Oh... I don't- I don't really know..."

"It's okay. I'm sorry if I pried," she said. Cassie looked down at Zola's picture. "Everything must remind you of him," she walked over to the cupboard and pulled out a jar of loose tea leaves. Meredith watched her spoon them into a tea ball and then put the kettle on the stove. Cassie's shoulder's slumped a little, and she turned around to face her. "I know what it's like... My husband passed away a few years ago, and... The world fell away. Everything stopped. And for awhile, nothing made sense."

"Oh." Meredith said, looking up from her Jello. Cassie had mentioned... but she hadn't really clued in, "I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Cassie said, smiling sadly. "It was hard, especially at first... because, I just never imagined life without Jake... when I found him, I knew I had found the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with... but then-" she sighed as she poured her tea. "He was gone."

 _Gone._ Meredith thought. "Yeah..." she said hoarsely. Cassie had voiced exactly how she felt. Life without Derek? What was that? How could she do that? She'd done it for awhile, when he was working in D.C, but that was different. He was always a phone call away, and she always had hope that they'd work something out. But now he was really gone, just when they'd begun to realize what was important. What would she do now? "Carolyn Shepherd... she's Derek's-" she swallowed, "She's sort of my mother-in-law."

"Apparently she grew up here." Cassie said.

"Apparently." Meredith sighed. "She really got married here? In this house?"

Cassie nodded. "Apparently."

Meredith stirred her Jello and said nothing. What could she say? The universe was twirling her around and she was getting dizzy.

"Do you believe in fate?" Cassie asked as she sat down with her tea.

Meredith picked up her squirming son and put him in her lap while she cleaned off his mouth and sticky fingers. Zola seemed oblivious, engrossed in yet another picture of daddy. She contemplated fate. Did she believe in fairytales and magic? Probably not as imagined. But... there were moments- like when she was a just a girl and he was just a guy. When she woke up from drowning. Or when they saved Beth, or when they wrote on the post-it. And having Zola... and Bailey... and now pregnant with another. These moments that- inexplicably built on each other... without the one preceding it, the other wouldn't have happened. "I... think sometimes things happen, and it can become more and bigger if you want it to be," she said honestly.

"Hmm." Cassie said. "That's an interesting perspective."

"You think fate brought me here?"

Cassie sighed, "Middleton has a way of sneaking up on people."

Meredith snorted, "Well it kinda crashed into me."

Cassie laughed, "It did, didn't it?" She put her tea down. "Look, why don't you stay at least one more night, on the house- so to speak. It's almost dinner time anyway, and it will be dark before you know it."

Meredith kissed the top of Bailey's head and looked at Zola. Cassie made sense. She was being a little impulsive... maybe she just needed some time to clear her head. Besides, she'd yanked Zola and Bailey around enough already. "Okay," she said.

Cassie ran some water in the sink and picked up the dishes. "Did you want to come with me to visit Grace? I think she'd love to see you..."

Meredith's head snapped up. "What?"

"Yeah... she um, asked about you. She doesn't think anything bad about you Meredith, she understands it was an accident."

"But... um, my kids."

"Oh, Zola and Bailey are welcome to come... Grace loves kids. And I think if Nick is still around, he wouldn't mind hanging out with them."

Meredith put Bailey down, she supposed she should go, at the very least to apologize in person. "You seem to be talking me into a lot of things... and I seem to be agreeing to it."

Cassie's smile broadened, "Well, I'm glad."

xxx

While it had only been a twenty minute drive to Blairville, it had taken some effort to convince Zola, and Bailey, by extension, that the hospital wasn't a bad place, and that they were just going to visit. Cassie led the way to Grace's room. It was supper time, and the familiar smell of hospital food wafted through the hallways.

She swallowed before she entered the room, the last time she'd seen Grace, she'd been injured and in a lot of pain, and while she knew Grace's injuries would heal, it didn't take the pain of guilt away.

"Who's in there, mommy?" Zola asked.

"Do you remember the accident we had on our way here?"

Zola nodded.

"Well, this is the girl who was also in the accident," Meredith said.

"Did you fix her, mommy?"

She did, but she didn't feel like she did. "I... helped." She said.

"That's good." Zola said proudly.

Cassie waved her over, a big smile on her face. "Come on in," she said.

Meredith walked in, clutching Zola's hand a little tighter than what was probably comfortable for the four-year old, but she didn't protest. There she was. Grace. She looked good, sitting up in bed, a tray of yucky hospital food on the table. When she saw Meredith, she beamed.

"Hey," she said, "I was wondering if I'd ever get to see you again."

Yup, the universe was making her feel dizzy.

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please review! Also, I updated **Ferryboats and Scrubcaps** a few days ago if anyone is interested... check it out!


	10. Alone, But Not Really

**A/N:** Thanks again to mandyg67, Patsy, Jackiiiieeee111, and Rhatch89 for your Comments, and everyone for reading and following this story!

 **Enjoy!**

Grace sat up a little straighter in her bed when Meredith entered. Meeting her was unexpected, for sure... but it was a pleasant surprise. She knew how awful Meredith must be feeling, so maybe this could be a chance to talk to her, reassure her.

"Hi." Meredith said, taking a few more steps closer. Her arm was in a sling, and two children trailed in behind her. The oldest, a dark little girl, stared at her with bright curiosity. Grace wondered if she was adopted. The boy peered at her from behind Meredith's leg. Definitely her son, she thought.

"Is that the girl, mommy?" The girl asked, pointing.

Meredith rolled her eyes and smiled apologetically. "Yes, sweetie, this was the other girl in the accident."

"But she was hurted... is she better?" Zola swung her and her mother's arm.

"Why don't you ask her?" Meredith said, gently pulling her closer. She met Grace's eyes again, "Um, this is Zola. And that's Bailey..." she put her free hand on her blonde son's head. "Guys, this is Grace, Cassie's daughter."

Shy Bailey ducked his head again behind Meredith, but Zola spoke up, "Are you better? Did the doctors fix you?"

"Yes, they did... I'm just going to be sore for awhile." Grace replied.

"Oh," Zola said, walking up closer. "My mommy is too. Her shoulder has a owie."

"Yeah, I see that..." Grace nodded and smiled at the girl. She was so cute and had so many questions.

"One time, I was riding my purple bike and goin really fast, then I felled off and scraped my knee... it hurt a lot. Unca Alex put stitches in and I got Dora band-aids. Did you get Dora band-aids?"

Grace smiled a little, "No, my owie was too big for Dora band-aids."

"Oh." Zola said, dissappointed.

"She thinks Dora band-aids have super healing powers..." Meredith said. "Her Aunt Maggie suggested it once."

Grace smiled. "Aww, that's so cute."

Meredith nodded with a small smile. A tense moment followed.

"Hey, do you guys want to go get stickers... They have them at the nurses station." Her mother offered. "I can take you there."

Zola looked at Meredith who said, "Zola, do you want to go with Cassie and get stickers?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, well, go take your brother. I'll be... I'll be right here."

Cassie smiled and took Zola and Bailey's hands, leading them out the door.

They were alone.

Meredith stayed where she was, her eyes wandering the room as she nervously fidgeted. "So... you're okay?" she asked.

Grace paused before she answered. She was okay. She always knew she was because... well, she knew. She was sore, she'd been scared when she'd first been hit. But she'd gotten over it. She was on pain medication, food wasn't quite as appetizing, and she got tired fast. But her mom was here, and Nick, and Sam. Even Aunt Abigail. She was okay. "I'm sore," she said, "But, I bounce back quick."

"I'm sorry," Meredith whispered, bringing her gaze to meet Grace's. "I'm sorry I hit you."

That very first moment when she'd awakened in the car, Meredith had been there. Hovering over her, concerned and trying to reassure her. "I know you are." Grace said, "It was an accident, and you stayed and helped. I forgive you." Sam said she stayed with her until they got to the hospital. "Sam said you're a doctor. A surgeon."

Meredith nodded, "I-I am." But there was a flash of pain in her eyes.

Grace knew Meredith was running from that life, from loss. "It's okay... you know, to take some space." .

A sudden burst of laughter escaped Meredith's lips. She sniffed. "It's funny... I mean it's not funny, but-" she laughed again. "I can't... I can't get away from him. He's everywhere, all the time." She slumped into the nearby chair and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Sorry-I," she sighed. "You don't need to know about my dark and twisty life. I'm glad you're okay, Grace. You... you're a wonderful girl..." She trailed off, and again there was awkward silence.

Grace bit her lip... she felt the urge to say something, but she didn't know if she should say it. Meredith seemed so fragile. But the more she thought about it, the more she knew she had to say it. Maybe, coming from her... "Why?" she asked curiously, shocked at how quickly that spilled out of her. "Why are you trying to get away from him?"

xxx

"Why are you trying to get away from him?"

Meredith blinked and stared at Grace. "What?" she asked, feeling like she was being accused of something. But Grace had said it so softly, and there was more curiousity in her voice than accusation, and well she was a kid- so...

"Sorry." Grace said quickly. "It's just... when my dad died...my mom and I- we had the whole town... and George and Abigail, and," she shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just don't understand. The idea of leaving the people that love and support you when you need them..." she trailed off.

Meredith sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I'm- I'm not trying to get away-I just- I don't know... Everything happened in Seattle. I was born there, I met him there, I made my family there, I had my kids there... I-" her voice caught. Why was she talking to a teenager about this?

But Grace had this way about her... this gentleness that seemed to fill the air around the room. She felt safe. Meredith looked down at her hands. "My life? Me? Scary and damaged. People die on me, people leave. And I just-" She looked back up at Grace. "I need to- I don't know who I am anymore... without Derek-"

With the empty bed... the big house he built for their life _together._ With a hospital full of caring staring people... feeling him around every corner, in every elevator but _knowing_ he wasn't there. "I miss him. Every morning when I wake up- I" her hand reaches across the pillow to emptiness. "I miss him, but when I look at the house, our bed, our work together- I'm just reminded that-"

"He's gone." Another voice said, and Meredith turned to see Cassie in the doorway, Zola and Bailey holding balloons and stickers.

A deep exhausted sigh escaped her lips, "Yeah..." Meredith breathed. Bailey ran to her instinctively and climbed on her lap. "I know this is impulsive, and I know-" Meredith winced as her son settled in her arms. "I'm hurting people by leaving, but- I don't know what else to do."

Cassie took another step in, "It's okay, there's no judgement here, everyone deals with grief differently."

Meredith nodded and hugged Bailey tighter. He was solid and firm and alive. Alive and squirming. He needed her. She needed him to need her. Zola rambled on about stickers and balloons and Dora, and Grace and Cassie talked about the unappetizing meal in front of them.

And he was gone. Derek was gone. She was alone, but not really... life continued. But she'd jumped off the carousel, if only to catch her breath. She only hoped one day she could jump on again.

xxx

" _Ow." Carolyn said, rubbing her chin. They'd landed hard underneath the building. And Michael had broken her fall. "Michael?" she patted his cheek. "Michael, wake up!"_

" _Hmm?" He hummed in that familiar way. Then he coughed. "Can't... breathe-"_

 _She pushed up and rolled off of him, then settled by his side. Brushing his thick bangs out of his eyes, she asked, "Are you alright?"_

" _Just- the wind-"_

" _Knocked out of you," she finished for him._

" _Yeah.." He gasped. Carolyn looked around in the darkness, nothing but dust and wood here. They must've fallen into the basement. She started to stand, but Michael grabbed her arm. "Not so fast," He grinned._

" _What?" But she saw the look in his eye, that mischevious glint, and he pulled her back down to him._

" _We didn't finish. I didn't get my kiss!"_

" _Michael James Shepherd-" she started, but his lips were around hers before she could finish. She melted, sighing as their kiss deepened. He loved her. He really loved her. Enough to marry her. Build a house with her. Have children with her. Grow old with her. He loved her enough to wait for her._

 _She sighed and rested her head on his chest. His heartbeat thudded under her. He stroked her hair. And then he was shaking. Shaking and making strange noises. "Michael!" she sat up, concerned._

 _But it was laughter. Uncontrollable fits of laughter. "Hee hee... Care-" he said, using his nickname for her. "We fell- we fell through a hole! In a rotted house-" He laughed again, and soon, so was she, her aches and pains from the fall dissolving under the flood of endorphins that rushed through her._

 _It was ridiculous._

 _He proposed in a derelict house and they fell through a hole. Now she knew they were meant for each other, falling all over each other, they were._

 _Michael sat up and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Tears of laughter they'd been. He tucked his knees to his chest and rested his chin between them. She leaned over and put her elbows on his knees, cupping her chin, her lips brushing his forehead. "I love you," she said. "I know I'll be away for awhile, and you'll be alone. But, not really. I'll never be far from you."_

" _Mmm," he breathed. "Thank you."_

" _Now, where's that compass?" she asked, peering through the dark._

xxx

The rest of the night had been uneventful. Cassie had driven a quiet Meredith and Co. back to the Grey house where they'd been fed some leftover stew and shuffled off to bed. Cassie put the last of the dishes away and sighed. Sam was confident Grace could probably be discharged tomorrow afternoon, as there seemed no further reason for her to remain there. She was glad, she'd missed having her daughter around.

She walked upstairs and down the hall when she noticed the bathroom light in the guest area on. She hesitated before heading down that way. The door was closed, and she pressed her ear against it, wondering if anyone was inside.

Meredith's soft heartbreaking sobs could be heard from the other side of the door. Cassie stepped back and swallowed thickly, she missed her husband, Jake, too. She was alone. But- not reallly. On days like this, she felt him even closer to her. She padded quietly away, hoping that Meredith never knew she was there.

After her nightly routine of brushing her teeth and washing her face, Cassie settled into some comfortable PJ's and lay in bed. She turned on her side and stroked the empty space where Jake used to lie. She couldn't imagine leaving Middleton. But she couldn't judge Meredith. Cassie understood running. She'd wandered some when she was younger, travelling across the world in search of adventure... She had wandered, she had run, but she ended up here, Middleton USA. Of all places.

And so had Meredith.

What was next she didn't know.

She slept.

Hours later, in the dead of night, Cassie bolted up in bed. "Sam!" she cried out.

xxx

Few people knew this, but Carolyn Shepherd didn't drive. A New Yorker by necessity, public transportation came to her much more easily than a gas guzzling hunk of metal that one might call a car. Her children often commented on it, and although she had her drivers licence, she just found driving to be far too much work and avoided it as much possible.

Which was why she'd boarded a Greyhound bus from the airport at midnight.

"Good, evening ladies and gentlemen..." the bus driver said from the intercom. She half listened to his spiel about breaks and boarding procedures, "We'll be stopping briefly in Middleton for approximently fifteen minutes, please fee free to stretch..."

Middleton. Where she was born. Where she met her husband. Where he proposed, where she got married. She twisted her wedding ring on her finger as she stared out the window. She could see nothing but the flashes of lights from passing cars. She didn't know why she was going back here... After her mother died, she'd never come back. There wasn't any reason. But the other day, in griefstricken nostalgia, she'd pulled out her photo albums.

She missed her son. He was gone too soon. His light snuffed out too quickly, and... it made her miss Michael even more.

So now, with an impending sense of dejavu, she was heading back to her first home.

The bus rumbled on. It was dark and quiet on board, most of the passengers asleep, or trying to sleep.

Carolyn didn't move from her spot, she merely stared mutely out the window. She felt so strange doing this. She'd long since grown out of impulsiveness.

Suddenly, the road rumbled. The bus shook. It was as if the ground itself was moving. She heard the squeal of brakes and swayed as the bus lurched to the side. "What's going on?" She blurted, alarmed.

"I think it's an earthquake-" someone said.

And then the ground bucked again.

 **A/N:** Dun Dun Dunnn! Thanks for reading Everyone!


	11. Shaking Things Up

**A/N:** Wow! Thanks so much for your comments! Thanks mandyg67, Patsy, RHatch89 , TheDoctorPieMaker, and Jackiiiieeee111! Don't worry, I'm still interested in seeing this through to the end. I have a lot going on in my life right now, so my updates may be a little farther apart.

Part of the reason I leave cliffhangers is because it gives me a jumping off point... so here we go!

 **Just Outside of Middleton:**

Sam yawned and wiped his eyes. He'd been pulled into an unexpected surgery, and was only now coming home. His phone rang, and he pressed the button to answer on his bluetooth.

"Dad?" Nick's voice came clear over the phone.

"Hey Nick," Sam answered, a little guilty that he'd missed time with Nick.

"When are you gonna be home?" Nick asked.

"I'm on my way right now, in a few-"

But his car jerked swayed, _bounced,_ and he had to focus on the road. "What the?-" Sam exclaimed, gripping the wheel. Suddenly the bus in front of him bucked violently, spun ninety degrees, and tipped over!

Sam couldn't control his vehicle as the ground seemed to move on it's own. He was in the _air._ He hit the brakes, but it was no use, since he was airborne.

" _Dad!"_ he heard Nick calling, but all he knew was blackness.

xxx

Meredith had been sleeping when the bed _moved_. Things rattled and shook. There was an awful rumbling noise, and _cracking..._ She bolted up, her hand fell on her stomach instinctually. .

"Mom?" Zola asked, confused.

Bailey was still snoring lightly away. Meredith inhaled a panicked breath, an earthquake? What the hell?. "Come with me," she said, quickly grabbing Bailey's arm. "Ow!" she hissed in pain, but there was no time, no time. All she could remember about earthquakes was doorway. Get to the door, and pray nothing falls on you.

Bailey cried, but she ignored it and led Zola to the doorway opening the door slightly so she could lean inside the doorframe. "Stay right here Zola, and hold onto the side, don't move."

Bailey had whimpered and wrapped his arms around her neck. She bit back tears of pain as she leaned against the doorframe, holding in every ounce of fear while they rode out the wave.

xxx

"Sam!" Cassie cried out, but even then, the floor was shaking, things were rattling, cracking and booming. She blinked in surprise. An earthquake? Here, in Middleton? But as things continued to shake, she cast her questions aside and dashed for the doorway.

Even as the house shook and things crashed around her, Cassie's thoughts flew to Sam. What had woken her up so? What happened? The last time she'd bolted out of bed like this, it had been Jake's name she'd cried out, in the dead of night. And he never came home after that.

Soon the rumbling stopped. The house stopped shaking, the rattling and cracking stopped, and silence filled the air...

And then she heard Bailey crying. Cassie bit her lip, should she go over to them? Aftershocks could be on the way. She decided to risk it, traveling down the hall in quick long strides. She found Meredith crouched in the doorway, frightened but all right, her son Bailey wrapped around her, and Zola leaning up against the other side of the doorframe, trying to put on a brave face for her mother.

"Are you all right?" Cassie asked.

Meredith grimaced and nodded, "You?"

Cassie nodded too, although she couldn't help the edge of worry creeping up on her.

The floor vibrated and she ducked down, covering her head and waiting it out.

Beside her, Meredith exhaled slowly, stroking her son's hair as the aftershock faded.

They stayed there for a long time, silent, too scared to move. Just waiting it out.

Cassie started to run through a mental checklist of things she would need to do. She had an emergency kit in the closet... she would have to make sure to turn off the gas, and check the water supply...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a panicked shouting, "Cassie! Cass! My dad! Please! Cassie!"

Nick? Sam? Oh God...

xxx

Amid crying, groans, and muffled whimpers, Carolyn took stock of her situation. The bus had tipped over on it's side. Lights flickered on and off, the driver seemed unresponsive and everyone just seemed to be in shock as they waited out the quake. It didn't seem like anyone was seriously injured, but still, they should not remain in the bus. Carefully she pulled herself out of the seat she was in. Basically, she was standing on the window. Her shoulder was bruised and her head had quite a knock, but she'd been through worse. If she could just get to the emergency rooftop exit...

She looked around, everyone seemed so uncertain and anxious. Of course they were, it was an anxious situation. Someone had to take command. She swallowed, looking out over the dark bus before asking, "Is everyone all right?"

"My... my head is bleeding," someone said among grunt's of 'okay' and 'fine'.

"I think I broke my arm," another person voiced. Other complaints came, but nothing seemed serious.

"Alright, we need to get out of the bus," Carolyn said, as she tried to figure out how to climb over the seats to get there. "Young man," she called to a man in a green hoodie and red headphones looped around his neck. "I need you to open the hatch there, beside you."

He nodded and adjusted his glasses before reaching down beside him. Another man helped him. Slowly people made their way out to safety. But she was worried about the driver. As people made their exit, Carolyn clambered in the opposite direction toward the him. She found him unconscious, still strapped in his seat, but slumped awkwardly onto the broken window. Blood poured from a scrape on his head.

Carolyn reached over, shaking him. "Hello? Hello? Are you all right?" she asked, but there was no response. She shook her head. Damn. Just then there was a rapping noise from the windshield. She looked up to see a disheveled man pointing toward the door. "Open the door! I'm a doctor, I can help," he said.

She didn't hesitate, pulling the lever to open the door while the man climbed up to let himself in. "His pulse is shallow and thready, he's unresponsive." Carolyn said. "And my name is Carolyn."

"Sam," he said, focusing on the patient in front of him. His hands ran expertly over the man as he assessed his injuries. As he did so, Carolyn pulled out the emergency first aid kit and prepared the gauze for the driver's head.

She met his questioning gaze with a raise of her eyebrow. "I was a Navy nurse for twenty-five years, this is nothing new... Sam."

He nodded, "Fair enough."

"You're bleeding," She said.

He wiped his brow, "Yeah, I hit the bus. But I'm fine."

She eyed him closely, he seemed fine. After Sam secured the gauze and stabilized his neck, he looked up, "Okay, we have to get him out of here, there's diesel leaking from the bus."

Carolyn nodded. "Can we get some help over here?" she called.

xxx

"Nick!" Cassie called as she carefully navigated the hall. So far... the house was still standing, that was a good thing. Meredith followed behind her, she turned to her, "In that closet there's a big red emergency kit, can you grab it?"

"Yeah," she said, using her cell phone as a flashlight. "Zola, can you carry these blankets?"

"Okay mommy," she said, grabbing two big blankets in her little arms.

"What happen?" Bailey asked.

"It was an earthquake honey," Meredith said, handing him her phone while picking up the kit. "Point the light straight ahead. Good."

"Eart-quick?" Bailey asked.

"Yeah, that's when the ground shakes really hard and you can't stand up."

"Shake?"

"Yeah, that's right."

They reached the stairs, and Cassie could make out Nick's outline at the bottom. "Nick stay there, I'm coming down-" she said.

"My dad, I was on the phone with him, he was driving- and then..."

"I know..." Cassie said. She reached into the kit and pulled out a flashlight. "Okay, careful everyone..."

They slowly made it down the stairs, and Cassie felt a tide of relief when everyone got to the bottom. Nick was distraught, "I tried calling him but-" he said, clenching and unclenching his fingers in worry.

"Nick," Cassie said, placing her hands on his shoulders, "We'll find him... okay?"

He nodded numbly. "Yeah... yeah okay."

"Alright, I have to do some things around here before we figure out what to do next."

Nick nodded. "Right." And then he looked up at her, panicked. "What about Grace? Will she be okay?"

Grace. She'd forgotten about her... "Uh-"

"-Hospitals are generally the safest place she could be right now... they are built for disasters." Meredith interrupted, shooting Cassie a reassuring glance. "She should be okay."

Cassie nodded. "I have to go turn off the gas, check the power and water. You guys should stay here."

"Okay," Nick said.

xxx

Everyone was out of the bus, standing or sitting on the side of the road. Sam had ordered a passenger to find the roadside flares and light them a safe distance away and he had begun to triage people. Carolyn, the plucky retired navy nurse focused on making sure everyone remained warm and hydrated. The driver still hadn't regained consciousness. He checked on him again, and sighed... his vitals weren't good. They needed an ambulance.

"Sam," Carolyn said, tapping him on his shoulder. "Has anyone gotten through?"

He shook his head no as he sipped his water. He hadn't heard anything from anyone yet. He rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. His brain felt... so full.

"What about the radio?"

"The radio?" he rasped.

"In the bus. There's a short-wave two way radio."

Sam held his head. "Oh.." Why didn't he think of that?

"I just thought of it now myself..." Carolyn said, the woman had a dastardly way of reading his mind.

He gazed over at the tipped over bus, he'd have to climb in again, but he could. The radio was the best chance to get help. "Okay, I'll- I'll go-" he started to walk back toward the bus. God, his head... Suddenly the ground tilted. Another earthquake? No, wait... his head... why couldn't everything just stay still?

"Sam?" He heard Carolyn call, but he couldn't respond. Everything was spinning in slow motion. He couldn't figure out how to put one foot- in front- of the other. And then the ground was coming up on him fast and he couldn't do anything about that either.

"Dear Lord!" was the last thing he heard before he met blackness again.

xxx

Cassie finished checking the house. The gas had been turned off, and she had pulled up extra blankets and supplies from the basement. She found George, who had a broken arm, which Meredith splinted and wrapped in a sling. Still no word from Sam, even when they'd called multiple times, they couldn't get through.

"We have to do something!" Nick pleaded, "It's my dad!"

"I know..." Cassie said, but she just didn't know what to do. Would the roads be safe? She couldn't get through to emergency services. "I'm sorry, Nick, I'm just not sure what to do... we don't know what it's like out."

"He can't be far... we have to find him, please."

Cassie knelt by Nick and hugged him close. Her heart panged. She wanted to help Sam too. She had a bad feeling, but she woud feel worse if something happened to Nick too.

"The aftershocks have stopped," George said, "We could take the truck..."

Cassie looked at Meredith, "I... I have this feeling," she said, trying to describe how she felt only a few minutes earlier.

"Yeah?" Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow over her seat on the bench outside the house. "I get those."

Oddly, Cassie knew she was telling the truth. She fretted with the blanket over Nick's shoulder.

"You should go and find him," Meredith said. She looked over at Nick. "You said he was on his way home right? He was driving?"

"He said he was only a few minutes away."

"So he can't be far..."

"Maybe he was in an accident," Nick warbled with worry.

"Or maybe he's helping someone," Cassie pointed out, though she was afraid she was wrong.

"Cassie," Meredith prompted, "You think something bad happened to him?"

She didn't think, she knew. She stood up and paced, but what to do? Cassie closed her eyes, exhaled... and then the answer came to her. Help was coming. "We just need to wait, help is closer than you think."

"And you know this how?" Meredith asked bluntly.

Cassie allowed a small half smile to touch her lips,"I have a feeling."

xxx

Was this feeling thing contagious? Meredith wondered as she sighed and stared into the night. They had decided to wait outside, in case something happened to the building. Cassie left to grab some more supplies, Nick kept trying his phone, growling with frustration everytime it beeped with a 'no service' beep.

Bailey had finally calmed down and fallen back asleep. Zola was playing a shadow game with George and a flashlight, and what was she doing? Watching Nick. It hurt watching him, because it wasn't that long ago, she'd been in the same boat calling Derek. Worried. Looking for horses, but hoping for Zebras.

But there'd been an earthquake. There probably wasn't really a lot of Zebras. She looked at the boy as he hung up the phone for the third time, running a hand through his hair. Meredith blinked back a tear, swallowed, and without really thinking about it, her cool hand found his and squeezed.

"He's okay right?" Nick stammered, "He's just... helping, like Cassie said."

What could she say? Meredith just nodded and squeezed his hand again. "Yeah," she agreed, shoving her dark and twisty thoughts down. She didn't need to bring her pain down on Nick. He wasn't damaged yet. She wanted him to stay like that as long as possible.

Then she saw the lights. Red and blue flashing up the driveway. Crap. Her fingers pulled away from Nick's and she wrapped her arms around herself as she stood up to greet the police car as it pulled up.

But it was Cassie who dashed past her. "Brandon!" she called out.

The young man hopped out of the car to embrace her. "Cassie!"

Meredith shrinked back a little, recognizing the private moment. But Brandon pulled away quickly, "Cassie... that lady, the doctor... is she here?"

Cassie's expression fell. "Oh no... What happened?"

Brandon nodded. "A bus tipped over. We need all the help we can get."

Meredith stepped forward "What about Dr. Radford?" she asked, meeting his dark eyes.

"He had a siezure... I don't know anything else."

"What?" Nick called from behind her.

Dammit.

Xxx

The ride over was dead silent. At least to Meredith, she'd tuned everything out once she'd handed a crying Bailey over to George and endured Zola's pouty face at her leaving them. But she had to do it. She took an oath or whatever.

The car stopped and the three of them, her, Cassie, and Nick Clambered out to view the wreckage amid the flashing lights of the police car. There was no ambulance, no fire truck. Just a crashed bus and car.

"No!" Nick cried out. "That's my dad's car!"

No one could stop him from running toward it. "Nick!" Cassie chased after him. Meredith just stood there, a wreck in a wreck.

"You there! Which one of you is the doctor they said they'd get?" someone called out from the darkness.

Meredith wiped her eye. Shoved everything back down inside. Right now, she wasn't a mother that abandoned her children, or a widow, or pregnant.

She was here to save lives. She was a doctor, a surgeon. She could do this. "I am," she said, stepping into the fray.

"Good," suddenly she was pulled by the shirt sleeve toward the side of the road "I need you here, this man, Sam- he was fine one minute, and then-"

Meredith nearly knocked the woman over when the woman stopped short. "Meredith?"

Carolyn Shepherd stared at her like she didn't believe her eyes. Her palm hovered over Meredith's cheek, her dark intense gaze bore into her.

Meredith's stomach curled, and maybe it was motion sickness from the earthquake, or her pregnancy, or just pure shock at seeing Derek Shepherd's mother, here... In freaking middle-of-nowhere Middleton, she didn't know.

Clutching her stomach, she stumbled back, pivoted away from Carolyn and emptied the contents of her stomach onto the ashphalt.

Crap.

A/N: Thanks for Reading Everyone! And thanks for your patience! Tell me what you think!


	12. Take it on Faith

**A/N:** Thanks so much for your patience! I was trying to work on **Lost and Found,** but my brain got stuck, so I'm gonna try this one!

Thanks to beetleboo52, Rhatch89 Jackiiiieeee111, mandyg67, Patsy and Greysfannn for all your encouragement! This is my B-day present to you all, as it is my B-day tomorrow, so enjoy!

 _Carolyn straightened her Navy cap over her carefully styled hair and ran her hands down her sides to straighten the wrinkles in her uniform. Behind her, the bus pulled away, leaving a cloud of dust in her path._

 _She picked up her suitcase. No one greeted her at the bus stop, because she actually arrived a week earlier than her letter had said. She supposed she could've called, but- she had news. Very unexpected news, and she didn't know... she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone._

 _The walk to Michael's house was long and uncomfortable, but she bared it. She'd been away for two years, but nothing had changed, not really. They would be getting married this summer. That was the plan._

 _But she had news... and plans might change._

 _She stopped at the iron gate, bent her knees slightly and placed her suitcase down. Her gloved fingers traced the iron wrought bars before she pushed the gate open. Her stomach fluttered with nerves, but she calmed herself._

 _This was news, but it wasn't necessarily bad news._

 _Four steps into the front yard of the Shepherd's house, and Carolyn stopped suddenly, feeling like she'd been punched in the gut._

 _Michael was sitting on the porch steps, and a woman her own age was clutching his hand, speaking to him in soft reverent tones._

 _When he saw her, he turned pale in shock. "Care-" he started, standing up._

 _She felt like the world was spinning too fast on its axis. She couldn't look at him. She looked instead at the woman. "Hello," she said abruptly. "I'm Carolyn, Michael's fiance." She held out her hand, "and you are-?"_

 _The woman stood up, brushing her hands on her jeans, clearly understanding the situation. She reached out and gripped Carolyn's hand warmly. "Hi," she said, "I'm Liz Merriwick, Mike's cousin. I'm just here for the funeral, my Grandmother knew Phyllis, they grew up together."_

 _Cousin? Funeral? What?_

 _Maybe it was just the morning sickness, or maybe not, but she felt sick to her stomach._

xxx

Meredith wiped her mouth and panted. This was so not the time to freak.

"Are you all right?" Carolyn asked, gently touching Meredith's elbow.

She looked up at her mother in law, still reeling from the fact that she was _here_ right in front of her of all places. "Fine." The word slipped out, her go-to word. What else was she to say?

"Drink this."

A bottle of water somehow ended up in her hands and she rinsed out her mouth and took a couple swallows before handing it back. "I'm fine," she said again.

Carolyn raised an eyebrow. "Clearly," she said.

Meredith pushed past the woman. She couldn't look at her. It made her think too much about Derek's funeral and she refused to feel sad right now. "Where's the patient?" she asked, marching along the roadside.

There he was, wrapped carefully in a grey emergency blanket. It was Dr. Radford, Sam. Propped up in the common recovery position. In doctor mode, she immediately began asessing him. Airway, breathing, circulation... his pulse was a little high, his breaths a little too shallow. His skin was clammy.

"He collapsed, and then suffered a grand mal siezure..." Carolyn said, crouching down beside her. "He was lucid before. He helped me with the driver."

Meredith only nodded. She pushed up his eyelids, flashing her penlight into each eye. It was actually Derek's penlight. A random gift she'd given him a year ago, before things between them got...

"Dammit," she muttered. "Left pupil is blown. He's bleeding into his brain."

"Oh my-"

"Dad?" Nick appeared instantly beside her. He fell on his knees. "Dad?" He shook Sam's shoulder. "Dad!"

"Nick-" Meredith touched his shoulder.

"What's wrong with him?" his voice shook with panic. "Why isn't he waking up?"

Meredith wanted to say things... doctor-y things. Explain. Explain that most likely Sam had suffered a contusion that severed a blood vessel between the skull and the brain, and the blood was now spilling subdurally, putting pressure on the soft tissue of that delicate organ, possibly causing midline shift and-

"Dr. Grey!" Nick shook her, and she looked at him, dazed. She moved her mouth but nothing came out.

 _The call to not get a head CT was a bad call._

"You _are_ a doctor, right?" The boy asked, his eyes narrowed. Her gaze fell to Sam, but all she saw in front of her was her husband.

 _Hey._

 _What did you do?_

 _Oh I did what I always do, except I almost killed myself doing it._

 _Don't make jokes. I was scared._

 _No, don't be scared. I'm not going anywhere. Come here. I'm right here._

"Give her a minute to finish examining him." Carolyn said, though Meredith barely heard. "He had a siezure, it's common for him to be like this afterwards, isn't it, Meredith?"

She blinked at the mention of her name, looked up around at the chaotic scene around her. It wasn't likely an ambulance would get here in time.

And then he began siezing again. Nick whimpered in panic. Meredith was acting on autopilot now as she held Sam, keeping him on his side as he shook. When finally the seizure stopped, she knew what she had to do. "Nick," she said, swallowing. "Nick... you shouldn't be here. You should go. Help Cassie and Brandon-"

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"Nick you should go. I need you to-"

"What's wrong with him? Is he dying? He can't die!"

Meredith exhaled loudly. "No... he's-"

"Then I'm not going."

Meredith shook her head. If she was going to do what her gut told her to do... she didn't know if she could do it with Sam's son hovering over her. "He's bleeding into his brain," she started, "And in order for me to fix it- I have to..." she trailed off, running her hand over Sam's cheek. She couldn't finish the sentence. No one should have to have this happen to them. This shouldn't be happening. She shouldn't be here. Sam didn't deserve this. Nick didn't either. When was she going to wake up?

She was dreaming right? Maybe _she_ was the one in the accident. Maybe she was having a coma dream. If she was, she desperately wanted to wake up. Because there was no way... how do you tell a boy... how?

"What?" Nick asked softly. _"What?"_

When Meredith looked up from Sam's pale face, she met Carolyn's intense gaze and knew that she knew what she had to do to save the man's life.

Carolyn regarded Nick with the perfect mixture of compassion and forthrightness in her expression. "She has to drill a hole into his skull," she said.

xxx

Like a beacon in the darkness, Cassie was the epicenter of calm in the chaotic night. She'd organized triage, grouped people together and passed out what little food and water she'd brought with her on the ride over.

The immediate shock and panic among the passengers had disappeared, and now they mostly huddled together, talking in low tones about the new worries about their own families and homes, and what would happen next.

She carefully unfolded the blanket that she'd gathered from some of the luggage and draped it over the bus driver. He still hadn't woken up. Brandon had radioed for an ambulance, but resources were stretched thin and they had no idea when it would arrive.

"How is he?" Brandon asked, nodding his head to the man lying before her.

She sighed as she tucked the blanket around his still body. "Still unconscious, but his pulse is a little stronger I think." She'd replaced his bandage just a moment ago, and relatively little blood had soaked the new gauze, which was a good sign.

Brandon nodded. "I guess... I guess we just wait."

Cassie wrapped her arms around herself, and looked past her stepson's shoulder at another body that lay on the ground. Sam. She'd forced herself to keep her distance, to focus on the situation at hand... but now...

Sam was lying unconscious and helpless only a few feet away, and there was nothing she could do. There weren't herbal remedies for trauma. Right now, there was only one person capable of helping him... Meredith Grey.

That was just the trouble. Because her usual instincts were off. When it came to Meredith, her second sense that told her what to do or expect just shut down. And as she stared at the woman hovering over Sam's body, she had no crutch to lean on. No way to glimpse the future or reach into that space where she could draw some feeling... some comfort from what her senses, or 'sight' could tell her.

She didn't know why. And that _really, really,_ bothered her.

"You're gonna do what?" Nick yelled, suddenly jumping up. He leaned over Meredith, confusion and shock plastered on his face.

Meredith didn't seem to instill any confidence in the boy as she gaped wordlessly at Nick. The older woman on the other side of Sam tried to talk to Nick, but he wasn't listening.

"You're gonna drill a hole into my dad's head?!" He shouted incredulously.

His raised voice caught Brandon's attention, and Cassie nodded as she glanced at him. _Come with me,_ her gaze said, and he dutifully followed.

"Meredith," Cassie called as she reached them. "Meredith, what's going on?"

When Meredith looked up at her, Cassie's heart broke. Whatever happened to Sam was bad. Really bad. "Meredith?"

"She wants to drill a hole into my dad's head!" Nick accused. "How is that going to fix anything?"

Cassie wanted to have faith in Meredith. She wanted to believe beyond a shadow of doubt that she could help Sam like she helped Grace. But she had no peace. No comfort of her second 'sight,' to guide her to that conclusion. And frankly, Meredith herself looked scared. "Maybe we should wait for the ambulance..." she said, and then immediately regretted it.

"An ambulance is coming?" Nick asked hopefully.

Meredith muttered something as she looked back down at Sam.

"An ambulance..." Cassie started, but she couldn't lie. "We called an ambulance, but-"

"We don't know when it will be here-" Brandon spoke up.

"Someone has to do something," Nick said, "But please... don't cut into his head. Please..."

Meredith was shaking her head, swallowing. Again she spoke but no one heard her.

"Surely there's something else we can do..." Cassie suggested.

"No," Meredith replied. "This is the only way."

"Meredith," Cassie pleaded as she kneeled down at Sam's side. She took his hand in hers. He was her friend. Practically her best friend. And maybe... down the road... something more? And now they were talking about cutting into him. Here, on the roadside after an earthquake. Why? Couldn't it wait? "Maybe we should wait."

"No." Meredith said, wiping her eyes.

"I just think-" Cassie spoke.

"You can't-" Nick said.

"I'll call-" Brandon added

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! All of you just SHUT UP!" Meredith yelled.

Everyone stared at the trembling doctor, speechless.

"Are any of you doctors? Surgeons? Have any of you diagnosed a patient with head trauma?"

A hush fell over the four of them. Cassie shifted uncomfortably. She'd made a mistake, a big mistake, and her heart wrenched when she saw Meredith's tear filled eyes.

"Well I have. And Sam's bleeding into the membrane between his skull and his brain. We can't wait, or he'll be a gorked out lump. Or dead. Do you want that? You want... to see him..." She stopped, her voice cracking. She rubbed her hands on her thighs as she tried to pull herself together. "It's a small hole. It'll relieve the pressure. There will be blood. A lot. But with this kind of injury, bleeding externally is better than internally. I know... I know it sounds barbaric. I get that. And it kind of is. But this is exactly what they would do in an OR, just... with a sterile enviroment and equipment. I'm a surgeon. I've done this before. And... I can do it here, if you'll let me. I know what I'm doing. I'm not stupid or incompetent."

"But you're shaking," Nick blurted.

Meredith looked down at her hands. She flexed her fingers and then clenched them into fists. "Yeah, well... they won't when I operate." She sighed and wiped her eyes again. "I can do this, if you want me to. The question is, do you trust me?"

Nick looked at Cassie, his expression torn. He wanted her to decide. But she couldn't, could she?

"Excuse me, Meredith." The other woman said, pushing up from her spot beside Sam. She walked toward Cassie, and her mere presence brought a flood of calm to her heart. "May I speak with you?" she asked, but there was barely a question mark in her tone. She pulled her back a little from the group. "I'm Carolyn-"

"Shepherd." Cassie breathed, suddenly making the connection from the picture in the article to the woman's much older but still recognizable face.

That earned her an eyebrow raise. But Carolyn continued. "Yes. Strange isn't it? This town, This place, Meredith. You. Sam, over there," she glanced over her shoulder at him. "You look a lot like- Nevermind. I'm digressing, and there's no time to digress. That man... like my son, is bleeding out. And you, unlike Meredith over there, have a chance while there's still time. I know she looks like a wreck, but that's because she's staring at a ghost right now. But I know Meredith," she flashed a quick smile. A smile that held countless stories. "She'll pull herself together. She always does. After shootings and plane crashes and emergency surgeries. She pulls herself together. I imagine you know what that's like." There was a subtle hint there... as if Carolyn saw something in her. "If you want Sam to live, if you want Meredith to save his life, you're just going to have to take it on faith."

Cassie gazed at Carolyn, amazed. She looked again at the figures hovering over Sam's body. She hated not knowing. The only other time she didn't know... was when Jake died. She felt so left out and empty at that time. Like the universe dumped her.

She missed Jake. So much. He'd be here. He'd tell her what to do. Everything wouldn't be on her. She nodded to Carolyn, and walked back to Meredith. Crouching over Sam, she clutched his hand in hers. "You can do this?" she asked.

Meredith nodded, her grey eyes had transitioned into an intense green. She looked... focused now. Her earlier shakiness was gone, and there seemed to be a stubborn resolve in her features. "Yes," she said, nodding. "Yes I can."

Cassie glanced at Nick who only looked helpless. "Okay," Cassie replied. "Okay, I have faith in you. You can do this Meredith. I know you can." She forced herself to say it, pulling faith out of thin air and putting it into her words.

It was a strange thing for her, Cassie Nightingale, to say things that she _wanted_ to believe, but without the certainty she usually always felt. But when she said it, something happened to Meredith... she suddenly relaxed, the tension in her shoulders melted away and her breathing steadied.

"Okay," she said. "I'm going to need a few things..."

xxx

Carolyn finished shaving off a patch of Sam's hair as she prepared Sam's skull. She reached for the bottle of hand sanitizer and squirted it on that very spot. They'd propped him up with a couple sturdy suitcases at a 45 degree angle, to give Meredith the best access. "Ready when you are," she said.

Meredith held the drill in her gloved hand, resting it on her knees. Her eyes were closed and she took deep breaths in and out. The poor soul. She looked exhausted. The last time she'd seen her had been at the funeral, and she'd looked so broken then... she still looked broken now.

She'd been shocked to see her daughter-in-law here in Middleton. But as the night wore on, she recalled that Amelia mentioned that she left. Her daughter had been upset about it, and while Carolyn sympathised, she understood the grief of a widow sometimes did strange things.

So here they were in Middleton, of all places. Both grieving. Both looking for direction, and lost in a disaster of a night. She flicked the flashlight on, and tried to angle it so the shadow would point away from the place where Meredith had to drill. "Meredith?" she asked.

Meredith opened her eyes, nodded slightly, and began.

The entire procedure from start to finish was only a couple minutes. Carolyn was sure she had never seen so much blood in her life. Meredith had drilled extremely carefully, but even before she breached the skull, blood had poured and spattered everywhere. And when she did breach the skull, blood spurted out rythmically, indicating that it was indeed arterial blood that pumped out.

Meredith dropped the drill and immediately began dabbing up as much blood as she could, excavating it with gauze and tampons. With one hand, she helped as best as she could as the two of them covered Sam's head with gauze and tape. They'd told everyone else to stay away. There would be too much blood.

She wasn't sure how long it was before an ambulance did indeed arrive. And Meredith stoically followed the paramedics into the ambulance, shouting instructions and stats, gripping Sam's arm as they pulled him in on the stretcher.

The boy Nick wanted to come too, but Cassie pulled him away and gestured to the police car. Carolyn looked around her. Another ambulance had arrived for the driver of the bus. A fire truck and a second police car also arrived.

The older woman sighed. She wasn't needed here anymore. She strode quickly to Cassie. "Take me with you. I need to be there for Meredith."

"Of course," she nodded.

When they arrived at Blairville hospital, Meredith was surprisingly easy to find, right there in the hallway where the ambulance had pulled up. Covered in Sam's blood, she sat against the wall in a daze. Carolyn shook her head in anger. No one bothered to help her? Clean her up? Give her some water? Earthquake be damned, someone should've done _something._ She whipped a blanket of an empty gurney and draped it over Meredith's slight frame. And then with aching bones she sat down beside her and took her slender hand in her own.

For a few minutes, there was no reaction, and then Meredith sighed and rested her head on Carolyn's shoulder. "I think we got it in time," she said.

"I believe we did." Carolyn replied, patting her hand.

"I saw him." Meredith said, and Carolyn didn't have to ask who _him_ was.

"So did I."

Meredith shifted, swallowed and looked Carolyn right in the eye. "No, I mean..." her voice broke as she tried to stifle the cry that wanted to come out. "When I was operating... I closed my eyes, and I – he just, he was there... reassuring me. He told me that I could do this."

"Hmm." It sounded like Derek. That sounded like her son.

"He's everywhere, saying things." Her mouth quirked in a light smile.

Seeing Meredith's expression, Carolyn blinked back tears. She missed Derek. _So_ much. Mostly, as his mother, she missed thinking about his future. Obviously, Derek wasn't in her daily life, and hadn't been since he'd left for college. But as a mother... she _thought_ about him daily, as she did with all her children. She thought and wondered and worried, like any mother. But now, with him gone... those thoughts kept jarring with reality. He was gone.

"And you're here." Meredith said.

"I'm here." Carolyn squeezed her hand.

"How did you know-?"

Carolyn chuckled. "I didn't, dear. Believe me, I didn't come looking for you. I came to look for- well, that's a long story." She gave Meredith a sideways glance, noting the exhaustion in her eyes.

"Rest dear, it's all over now."

"I'm so tired." Meredith whispered.

They sat there together in silence. In shared grief and triumph over their accomplishments. In odd companionship.

"Carolyn?" Meredith's voice was barely a rasp.

"Hmm?"

"I'm pregnant."

The news somehow wasn't surprising. She pulled Meredith closer to her. "That sounds like Derek," she murmured.

"Now he really is everywhere." Meredith half laughed and sobbed. Carolyn kissed her hair, not caring about the blood, and sent a little prayer up to heaven for her new future grandchild. And for Meredith, who so desperately needed to find her home again.

 **A/N:** Thanks so much! A couple things... I know nothing about brain bleeds and burr holes okay? I just made that crap up. Mer pulled an Izzie.

And for those of you that aren't familiar with The Good witch history, Elizabeth Merriwick was Cassie's Great-Great grandmother and she owned the Grey House. And Liz Merriwick is no doubt related to Cassie and Michael Shepherd. So... you do the math.


	13. Until It's Gone

**A/N:** Honestly, season thirteen has been a little predictable and disappointing right now. It used to be that I couldn't wait to get home from work to watch it (even though I record it) but now, I'm like, Meh. So... Because I can't get Grey's outta my head, the good Grey's that had awesome surgeries and tense moments and even when everything was on the line there was hilarious embarassing moments... here's another update!

 **Enjoy!**

Grace pushed through the crowds of people at the hospital as she made her way to the ICU. She'd heard... she'd heard something happened to Sam and she just had to see him, make sure he was okay. Sam was her best friend's dad, and he was... a good man, a good doctor. She liked him... her mom liked him. So it only made sense for her to check on his well being. So Grace trudged through the small overwhelmed hospital hallways and into the ICU.

Nurses and hospital staff bustled around her as she searched for his room. Unnoticed, Grace walked carefully through, glancing quickly inside each room. Finally, she found him. Them.

The lights were dim, the room quiet. Amidst the beeping and the the flourescent lights of the monitors and the soft inhalation of the automatic blood pressure cuff, Sam lay, pale and limp, with a large bandage around his head. But his chest rose and fell on it's own. There was a steady beep-beep-beep of the monitor, and the numbers on the screen looked okay. Nick sat in the only chair in the room, asleep. One hand clutching his father's while he rested his head on the other, tucked under his cheek.

Grace sighed and walked around to the other side of the bed. Sam was okay. She picked up the other empty hand and stroked it, feeling comforted by the strong pulse under her fingertips. She wasn't sure how long she was there before she heard a noise and looked up. "Mom..." she breathed.

"Grace..." Her mom croaked as she dropped the chair she'd been carrying. "I-"

Grace rushed over to her mother, wrapping her in a big hug, not caring about her ribs right now. There was comfort in her mother's smell, in her softness, from the kiss she lay on the top of her head. Her mom was okay. Sam was okay. Everyone was okay.

But Grace was also giving comfort to her mother. This couldn't have been easy for her.

"He was-" Cassie burst, "Meredith-" she choked back a sob. "There was so much blood..."

"It's okay mom..." Grace held her tight and rubbed her back. "It's okay."

After a while, they released from their embrace, and Grace grabbed the chair and slid it over to the other side of Sam's bed. "You look tired, you should sit."

Her mom didn't protest, she slid into the chair easily and took Sam's hand. After a minute, she looked up, "Come here, sit on my lap." Grace squeezed to sit sideways on her mothers lap, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. A strange painful sense of deja vu burned her heart and she flinched. She'd been here before, like this, a few years ago... when-

"It's okay honey..." her mother stroked her hair. "I know it looks bad, but he's going to be okay."

"It just... being here- us, like this, reminds me of dad." Grace managed to say.

She felt her mother's chest hitch as her breath caught. "I know."

"Yeah." Grace leaned against Cassie. But Sam would be okay.

xxx

 _Red and blue flashed against the dark sky. People rushed around, harsh voices, arguments, groans of pain._

 _On the ground before her, Dr. Radford was seizing._

 _Meredith stared, but only for a moment. "Gloves!" She snapped to the surgical team behind her. Somehow, in the middle of a highway, they had set up an OR. She was gowned in surgical gear, and a mask covered her face._

 _She felt good, confident. She could do this, it was a simple procedure. She strode over to the draped table that Sam lay on._

" _Surgical drill," she said, extending a hand. Bokhee handed over the instrument in a precise and graceful palmover. She nodded, stared at the patch in front of her, and turned the drill on._

 _Without anymore hesitation, she lowered the tool to the exposed bone and pressed down firmly. The drill whined as it pushed it's way through the skull._

 _Just a little more-_

" _You're shaking! Why are you shaking!" A voice yelled._

" _Wha-" Meredith looked up to see Nick in the OR, his hair was messy, his expression distraught._

 _What was he doing here? He was contaminating the OR! "Get him out of my OR!" She ordered the nurse._

 _But the nurse turned around, and it was Carolyn, "He has every right to be here, this is his father you're operating on," she said, arching a brow._

 _She chose to ignore them both and turned back to the patch of bone in front of her. The drill whined some more, "Just a little-"_

 _Snap!_

 _It broke. The drill bit broke. And then the monitors shrieked._

" _He's flatlining!" Carolyn called out._

 _For a split second she froze, unable to switch gears in her head. It was supposed to be a simple procedure. Simple-_

" _Meredith!"_

 _Fighting the panic in her chest, Meredith pulled the drapes off and whirled to Sam's side. "Begin compressions!" she shouted as she moved to straddle the patient._

 _Except now it wasn't Dr. Radford. It was Derek. He stared right at her as she pumped his chest. "It's too late..." he said. "You should've gotten a CT. Why didn't you get a CT?"_

 _She shook her head, trying to dispel this strange delusion. "It's not too late, I can- I just-"_

" _You can fix him right?" Zola asked looking up at her as she clutched Anatomy Jane. "You fix everybody..."_

" _I-"_

 _Suddenly Carolyn's face appeared right in front of her. "The call to not get a CT was a bad call." She said severely._

" _But- there was an earthquake- and-" Meredith stuttered even as she continued compressions. She looked back at Derek, his face pale and ashen. One-two-three-four-five- she counted automatically._

" _How come you can't fix him?" Zola asked._

" _You **are** a doctor right?" Nick questioned as he scrubbed in._

 _Her stomach flip flopped. Nausea clawed at her. She swallowed and continued the motions of CPR. One-two-three-four-five, one-two-three-_

" _Where dadda momma?" Bailey asked as he scribbled on a chart with a yellow crayon. "I want dadda!"_

" _You're too late." Derek said. He shook his head sadly and sighed. "It's too late." He closed his eyes._

" _No!" She pounded on his chest. "No! You can't leave me!" Pain vibrated through her arm as her fist landed on him again and again, but he remained there, still and unmoving. "Don't leave me! I'm pregnant! You can't!-"_

Carolyn had been dozing lightly in the chair beside the gurney she'd purloined for Meredith, when a noise forced her awake. She inhaled sharply and blinked up to see her daughter-in-law squirming on the bed in her sleep.

"No," Meredith cried out, "You can't leave me... You can't!" Her arm swung violently, hand clenched in a fist.

Carolyn stood up and caught the flailing arm. "Meredith!" But Meredith kept flailing in distress, whimpering. "Wake up!"

Meredith's arm jerked in Carolyn's grasp and she gasped in pain. "Aah!" she cried again, and then her eyes opened, fearful and pained. "Owww," she moaned, rubbing her collarbone.

Carolyn clutched Meredith's arm and held her hand. "Shh, dear, you must've had a nightmare."

"I-" Meredith blinked, her eyes shining with tears. She sniffed, swallowed, and roughly wiped at her face with her free hand. "He-"and then a strange expression came over her and she ripped her arm from Carolyn's grasp.

"Mere-"

The slight woman launched off the gurney, hand over her mouth as she stumbled about.

"Dear Lord! Meredith!" Carolyn exclaimed in confusion and shock, but then everything was made clear when she bent over a trash bin and retched. Carolyn could only watch sadly at the younger woman's plight as she heaved again.

She took a few steps closer and waited. Meredith clutched her stomach and groaned before leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor.

"Come back to bed, you must be exhausted-" Carolyn started to mother, but she was rebuffed as Meredith pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and sank her head into the space between.

Carolyn put a hand on the wall, vacillating. She was getting too old to be sitting on floors, on the other hand, she knew she wouldn't be able to convince Meredith to move.

Finally, her bones creaked and cracked as she knelt down beside her. As she rubbed her back, Meredith started to shake with silent sobs.

"Oh," Carolyn murmured as she rubbed. Meredith buried her face into the crook of her arm as she sobbed and sputtered. "It's not your fault..." Carolyn soothed, "it's alright... just let it all out." Even as she said this, Carolyn felt a lump in her throat and tried to fight her own grief as she comforted her son's wife. "Shh..."

She mumbled something, and Carolyn leaned closer to hear better, "What?" But Meredith shook her head.

"You can tell me, Meredith. It's alright... just say it."

"He-" she hiccupped. "He _left_ me. I told him to go and he _left_ ," she said through gulping sobs. "I was stupid. It was stupid. And I h-hate him. I love him so much and I hate him and..." She trailed off, her grey eyes pools of leaden sorrow as she looked up at Carolyn, seeming to no longer care what anyone would think about her now. "Everyone leaves me, everyone, Carolyn. Derek's really gone. He's not coming back. No house of candles. No fairytales, no forever after." She swiped across her face, an angry clumsy gesture that was oddly heartbreaking for Carolyn to watch. "How could he- _leave_ me? I'm all alone. I have to do this," her hand swept downward at herself, "alone. How do I? I have to raise my kids _alone._ "

Carolyn felt that she was staring at herself some thirty odd years ago. A strange deja vu. She wanted to say so much, reassure, support, scold... but at the same time, Meredith's grief brought her to her own memories of her son and her late husband, and her heart was still breaking from that. Her throat clenched as she wrapped her arms around Meredith's shoulders and simply held her for now.

xxx

 _Just over a month ago:_

 _Carolyn sighed as she finished the last bit of cleaning for the day. She folded the slightly damp tea towel and hung it on the oven handle. Humming along, she reached for the kettle and filled it with water before pulling out the box of assorted teas from the cupboard. Before she could decide on a blend, the doorbell rang._

 _Odd. It was rather late for visitors. She put the kettle on the stove and padded to the foyer, not at all concerned who could possibly be here at this late hour._

 _When the doorbell rang again, she remained unfazed. They could wait. But when she saw who it was through the peephole, she swung the door open wide. "Derek! What in heaven's name are you doing here?"_

 _He was the epitome of miserable at that moment. If one looked it up, the definition of miserable would be a pouty, wet, forlorn son with bloodshot eyes and unkempt hair. Her inner mother radar went off. "What's wrong?" she stepped back to let him in._

 _He trudged in, not even bothering to smile or greet her. "I-" he shrugged, "Meredith-" he started again but words seemed to be failing him and he gaped like a fish flopping on a boat, gasping for air._

 _Carolyn took off his jacket and hung it on the rack behind him. She handed him a kerchief, "Get a hold of yourself. Dry off. I have water on for tea in the kitchen when you're ready."_

 _He stared at her, almost shocked at her attitude. Carolyn didn't care what he thought. Derek was a grown man, he didn't need her pity._

 _She puttered in the kitchen, selecting earl grey tea as her choice tonight and pulling out another mug for Derek. Stirring honey in her tea, she waited._

 _Carolyn's deft ears told her what her son was doing on the other side of the door. Soft thumps as he removed his shoes, and the scuffle of socks on carpet as he made his way to the bathroom._

 _Silence._

 _The toilet flushed, water ran a little longer than the usual time it took to wash hands. More silence. Derek's long loud sigh._

 _She heard the squeak of the doorknob as he exited, more shuffling as he came closer to the kitchen. But he stopped in the hall._

 _Carolyn imagined him gazing at the pictures that littered the wall there. Everyone was on that wall. Even his wife and kids. She'd had to harrass them endlessly over email to get that particular picture, taken when Bailey had been born._

 _When the kitchen door opened and her son appeared, she arched her brow up at him. "Much better," she said._

" _Hm," Derek replied, untucking his shirt and loosening a button to feel more comfortable. He looked better now, his hair slicked back a little, his cheeks a pinkish tone, and that long miserable expression had been replaced with something more open and thoughtful._

" _Well?" she pushed the teapot toward him._

 _Derek poured the hot water ino his mug. He fiddled absently with the teabag, dunking it up and down a few times before taste-testing it and nodding to himself._

" _Derek?"_

" _I don't know what to do..." he said finally, running a hand through his hair. "I mean- I know what to do- but- I did something- I-"_

" _I thought Meredith was the one who rambled," Carolyn interrupted._

 _Derek snorted, and a glimmer of amusement lit his dark blue eyes. "Oh, ma..." he sighed._

 _Carolyn winked and sipped her tea. "Start again."_

 _Derek sipped his tea, thinking. "I guess... I didn't know what I wanted... and now I do-but"_

" _Son, you've never known what you want."_

" _What?"_

" _Let me guess, you've been doing this job I keep hearing about... brain mapping isn't it?"_

" _Yes," Derek replied._

" _Brain mapping. You're doing this job, and you've been fighting with your wife, who happens to be on the other side of the country, and now you miss her."_

 _Derek nearly choked on his tea, "I-yes." he said as his expression asked 'how did you know?'_

" _Please, that was easy. I can read you like a book."_

 _He cupped the mug and stared down at the tea. "We did fight. She told me to leave, take the job, and I did. And then..." he shook his head and frowned morosely._

" _What did you do?" Carolyn asked, although it was more of a scold, like one would say to their dog after he chewed up your shoes._

" _I..." he hesitated, swallowed and spoke again, "I broke a promise." His eyes flicked up at her and then back down in shame._

 _Carolyn raised an eyebrow and tried not to read too much into that phrase._

" _The president asked for me," Derek continued. "He wanted me. Me." Derek pointed at himself. "But I chose to stay in Seattle. For Meredith. For the kids."_

" _For your family."_

" _Yes,"_

" _But?"_

 _Derek fidgeted, "I... she never backed me up. She never really supported my decision, it's like she was waiting for me to- to fail or something. And then we had this huge fight- because... I don't know... and she told me to take the job, so I- I took it."_

" _But you didn't want to."_

 _Derek swallowed. "I wanted to, but-"_

" _You didn't want to be away from her."_

" _Meredith wanted to stay in Seattle."_

 _Carolyn sighed and took a moment to think. She didn't know Meredith well. Sure, there'd been the usual emails and cards, the occasional holiday together where they would share small details of their lives... Meredith had appeared like an eager young thing the first time they met, but quickly revealed that it was all a facade, that she was really dark and cloudy._

 _But it really didn't matter much to Carolyn because she saw who her son was becoming with her... and he had changed. Meredith changed him._

 _Another sip of her tea. The clock ticked. The refrigerator kicked in and hummed loudly._

" _So you can't have both," Carolyn surmised, eyeing him over her mug._

 _Derek let out a defeated sigh. "No," he said._

" _Why should it matter? You already have everything," Carolyn pressed. There was a point to this, she just had to badger him enough._

" _I know! I know now!" Derek confessed, "But I screwed up, I hurt her! I really- she..." He stood up, fighting back tears. "I hurt her."_

" _You told me once that she saved you."_

 _Derek paced. "Yeah, well... she did."_

" _You two did that trial... I still have the medical journal. It kickstarted your career." That was the turning point for her too, when she started to wonder, just who this Meredith was, who her son was now becoming._

" _Hmm," Derek rubbed his jaw thoughtfully._

" _She was there for you when a madman shot you," Carolyn blurted. If Derek had hurt his wife, then it was time that he was reminded... how much ne needed her. "She married you. She decided she could try and be a mother to your children. She fought for Zola. She pushed you when you were scared about your hand after the plane crash... she gave you a son."_

 _Carolyn despised the painful look that was appearing on his face. But it was necessary. Stitches on an open wound. She picked up the kettle and the mugs and poured the remainder of the tea down the drain._

" _I... I know." His voice was soft, almost humble._

" _And all she wants is Seattle? Her home? Where you built a lovely house by the way." The water ran as she rinsed out the mugs and set them on the dish rack._

" _Mom, I get it. I'm not that vain. I chose to stay, remember?" he defended._

" _Fine." But that last sentance reminded her of another time when she heard that line. "Were you happy when you stayed? Even without Meredith's support? Did you stay because you wanted to... or out of duty?"_

" _Duty?"_

" _My Lord, Derek. Remember Addison? That woe begone marriage? You tried to stay because of duty, but you were miserable." Heaven forbid she get a repeat of that._

" _I wanted to stay. I wanted to be happy with my family, but Meredith-"_

 _Uh-uh, she wouldn't let him shift the blame. "When you decided to stay, did you ask her what she wanted?"_

" _It was my decision to make." Derek jabbed a finger on the counter._

 _Carolyn shook her head. "When you are married, son, there is no such thing as a unilateral decision. She couldn't support you Derek, because that was not you. You love your family, but you are far too brilliant to be sitting on the sidelines of something revolutionary. Meredith knew that._

" _Don't you see?" She put her dishrag down and leaned against the counter. You said it yourself. She saved you. She saves you everytime. There was a time, Derek, when all you had was a trailer. A trailer and Meredith. And somehow, at that moment, that was enough for you. When did she stop being enough? When did she stop being everything?"_

 _Derek floundered for a coherent word, but could only stammer in Carolyn's wake. "I..."_

" _You're impulsive, prone to running... you wear your heart on your sleeve, and you always think you're right." Carolyn shook her head. "You are the perfect mixture of your father and I."_

" _Hmm," Derek managed._

" _You look tired and miserable. You need to take a good look at your life, if it's not working shut up and fix it."_

" _Okay," Derek nodded. as if resolving something inside himself. "Okay. Just tell me one thing. Why did she tell me to go? She told me to leave- I, I don't get it."_

 _Carolyn sighed. "She told you to go... because she wanted you to come back. You don't know what you have..._

" _Until it's gone." He breathed._

" _Yes."_

xxx

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?" Grace asked.

"The doctors said it might be awhile. He lost a lot of blood." Cassie stroked her daughter's hair, revelling in the silky feel of it. Revelling in the relief of having her in her arms. Thankful and happy just to be alive.

"No, I mean Nick," Grace giggled.

"Oh gosh, just let him sleep."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." Grace agreed.

"Grace?" Cassie cleared her throat, "You know how I told you that I couldn't read Meredith?"

"Yeah."

"It was like that tonight. She wanted to operate, I almost stopped her, because I didn't believe-" She swallowed. "I didn't have that feeling that I get when I know..."

"That everything will be okay?"

"Yeah." Cassie sighed. "Do you know anything about that? Why..." Cassie stopped, lost in thought. If she'd stopped Meredith, surely Sam would be dead. Why did this woman cause so much frustration in her? Why couldn't she see?

"Sorry mom," Grace replied, rubbing her knee. "No clue. But you did end up trusting her. And Sam's okay. He's going to be okay."

"Yes, I suppose so." Cassie admitted. "Thank you Grace, I needed that."

Her daughter squeezed her a little tighter. "Love you mom."

"Love you too."

 **A/N:** Whew! That whole Carolyn Derek Scene just popped outta nowhere! Hope you enjoyed that! Now, check out my missing scene One-Shot **We had a Baby** for a little MerDer if you like!

Also, Awesome Alison, one of our Greys fanfic writers has started an instagram fan page. You can search for it under merder/ferryboats within the instagram search box. If you need help finding it, pm her. Please check it out, she'd love to hear from you!


	14. Walking Tragedy

**A/N:** I'm baaack! Just watched 13x20. Hmmm, sound familiar? Sort of? Anyway... I hope you had a wonderful Holiday, no matter what you celebrate!

 _Phyllis's funeral was a dreary affair, and Carolyn bore through it, holding Michael's hand as he stared blankly ahead. Apparently, as much as Michael loved his Grandmother, the rest of his family didn't quite share the same opinion. Thus, she had yet to meet any of the Shepherd clan, except for a few distant relatives._

 _Liz Merriwick was one of them. Carolyn didn't quite know what to make of her. Perhaps she was jealous, as she had caught Michael and Liz in hushed conversation twice now, of what she didn't know, because they would stop before she could get close. Michael had told her that she'd visited him in New York when they were little and played together, so perhaps they were just catching up..._

 _But wasn't she supposed to be the one he confided in now? Wasn't that the whole 'fiance' thing now? Absently, her hand rested on her abdomen. Right. Carolyn arched a brow, making a decision. It wasn't just about her anymore._

 _She approached the two, who were seated on the sofa, an empty cushion between them. "Micheal," she smiled. "Liz," she nodded at the other woman. "Can I talk to you?" she asked him._

 _He looked up at her, his gaze empty and expressionless. It was Liz who answered for him, "Of course," she smiled quickly, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ears and picking up her glass of water. She patted him on the knee, and he nodded._

 _Carolyn sat down beside her soon-to-be husband. She opened her mouth to speak- but- he beat her to it._

" _I'm sorry," he said. "I've been shutting you out." His warm hand covered hers._

" _Mm, I would say so... Are you alright?"_

" _I don't know... Phyllis... she... I don't know what I'm going to do."_

" _Well," Carolyn hummed, "In a little while, we'll be married, and have a place of our own... and..." she paused, twisting the engagement ring that he'd saved so hard to give her. "Michael... I'm pregnant." The smile on her lips was quick and hopeful... this could be a good thing._

 _He blinked. His indigo eyes seeming to turn a deeper blue, if ever it was possible. He swallowed and stood up, his fingertips leaving her hand empty._

" _Michael?" Carolyn asked, shocked._

" _I can't-" he shook his head, looking like the world fell on his shoulders. "We'll talk about this later." And then he walked away._

 _Bereft, Carolyn swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched him leave the house. And then her gaze fell on a concerned Liz Merriwick, as she too, watched the scene unfold._

xxx

Meredith rubbed her shoulder as she gazed through the doorway at the man on the bed. Her well trained eyes had caught all the stats on the monitors and besides a slightly below average blood pressure, it seemed Dr. Radford should be well on his way to recovery. Cassie slept in a chair close by, and Nick clutched his father's hand, seeming very much at peace now.

But there at the doorway, she stopped. An invisible barrier prevented her from moving forward, and yet, she could not bring herself to leave. Minutes ticked by but she didn't notice. Her feet refused to obey any command so she just leaned in the doorway instead.

"Hey," Cassie's voice shook her from her reverie.

"Hey," said Meredith, shifting to stand upright.

"How long have you been here?" she asked.

Meredith shrugged, she didn't really know. "Oh- I..." she changed the subject. "He's okay?" she asked instead.

Cassie gazed at the man on the bed, her eyes warm with compassion, and Meredith could see that these two were close. "The doctors said barring any complications, he should be just fine."

"Good," Meredith nodded, "that's good."

"You can come in, if you like," Cassie invited.

"How's Grace?" Meredith's asked, "she's alright isn't she?"

"She was here for awhile, and then the doctors insisted she get some rest."

Meredith nodded, glad to hear that Grace was fine. Sam Radford became blurry in her vision, and when she blinked, she thought she saw Derek lying there. When she blinked again, it became Sam. She sighed.

"It was a fire," Cassie said.

"What?" Meredith asked, regarding Cassie once more.

Cassie pulled up her other leg, wrapping her arms around them, she rested her head there while her attention was turned to the man on the bed. "Jake, my husband... there was a house fire... he got there before the fire trucks..." Cassie paused, and Meredith couldn't help but step into the room now, not sure what to do, not sure if she could be of any help.

Cassie's lips floundered into a broken smile as she continued. "The family inside, they were all sleeping... he broke the door down and went in..."

"Oh Cassie," Meredith approached her, past the point of no return, feeling that all familiar lump of grief rise. But she pushed it down, and her good hand rested on Cassie's shoulder.

"Smoke inhalation..." Cassie murmured, she shook her head, "He couldn't breathe, his lungs-" she sniffed.

"I'm sorry," Meredith said, and she meant it. Cassie's husband had suffocated. That was an awful way to die. She squeezed Cassie's fingers in her best attempt at comfort she could muster. "I'm so sorry."

"It was a few years ago," Cassie replied. "I don't talk about it a lot.. He died a hero, helping people... that's all he ever wanted to do."

"Yeah."

"Today... earlier, I missed him. I kept looking up, wondering if he would be there to help, to tell me what to do, or where to be...I-" she struggled for words.

"Yeah," Meredith knew the feeling. Hovering over Sam's head, she'd closed her eyes and... for a moment, just for a moment...

" _I'm scared-"_ _Meredith said, looking up._

" _It's alright." Derek replied, his features calm, his eyes loving. "You can do this."_

" _What if-"_

" _It's okay, it'll only take a minute."_

" _Okay," she nodded._

" _Okay." he smiled, small and soft. Reassuring._

And that had been enough for her to push through, to save Sam's life. Meredith stepped toward the bed, taking in Sam's still form. Carolyn had given her a cup of tea before heading off to try and be of help around the hospital. Meredith too, wanted to help, but she just had to know if Sam was okay first.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," Cassie said, standing up to come beside her. She rubbed Sam's shoulder.

"Huh?" Meredith asked. Honestly, the whole night had been a blur, and she'd put aside all the arguments over Sam so she could focus and do her job. Looking back on it, she remembered Cassie and Nick's initial resistance to her plan. "Oh." she said, shrugging. "It's okay."

"It's just..." Cassie turned to face her. Light brown eyes met grey green, and Meredith wondered what was bothering her so much. Cassie obviously cared for Sam, of course she'd doubt a crazy dark and twisty widow with a drill. But there was something troublesome in her expression, like she was lost.

She waited.

"I... have this gift," Cassie said. "It's like... a second sight... an instinct... but deeper. People come into my life, and I can sense things... I know things... like when Grace was in the accident, I felt her pain, but I also knew she would be alright. It's like I know what people need and I can guide them there, but..." she swallowed. "With you- I-" she stopped, "When you were suggesting to cut into Sam's skull- I couldn't feel- I didn't know... I usually know-"

Meredith waved her hand, "Wait, you're telling me you're a pyschic?" she asked. She had no opinion either way, but she'd noticed things about Cassie, an eerie peace or calm, like she knew what was to come, even during the earthquake, in the aftermath, she'd known Brandon would be there.

"In a sense, I suppose you could consider it that way," Cassie was saying, "Although I have never classified myself as such. I just... know what people need and am able to point them in the right direction."

"Oh." What did Cassie mean exactly?, Meredith wondered.

"Out there, on the highway, I didn't have that same reassurance. It felt like- well, if... what if you lost all your knowledge and ability to be a surgeon? You're standing there... you know something is seriously wrong, but you have no faith in yourself." Abruptly, Cassie shook her head, "I shouldn't be burdening you with this, obviously it's my problem, not yours, and you... have enough on your plate."

Meredith leaned against Sam's bed, "No, it's okay... I-I get it. I mean- I'm cursed. Of course it would make sense."

"Cursed?" Cassie asked, her eyesbrows shooting up under her bangs.

Oh, Cassie actually believed her? She was just making light- she wasn't _actually_ cursed. At least, she didn't think so... not in the literal sense, right? "No- wait- I-" she sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I'm not _cursed,_ it's just... I'm a walking tragedy. My mother had Alzheimers, she died. And I drowned and kinda died. And then, well, lot of people I cared about in the last few years have gone away... or died, so..." Meredith shrugged again, "It's okay to have doubts..."

Cassie sighed and nodded, but she still looked morose.

"Oh," Meredith said, noticing her expression... her utter helplessness. "It's not just doubts," And she really didn't know what more to say or do to help Cassie. What do you do when you've lost that gift that made you... You?

"I only felt like this once before," Cassie whispered. "Just before Jake... died, I felt like the universe detached from me... like it didn't have the answers," she shook her head. "But that was only for a little while... an hour maybe, and then..." she sighed, "he died."

Meredith closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. She stared out the window, she couldn't look at Sam. Her hand dropped from Cassie's shoulder as she clutched her arm closer to her chest. "So... what are you saying? The universe doesn't have answers for me? Doesn't know what to do with me?"

"I... don't know." Cassie answered painfully.

Meredith tapped her foot and bit her lip. "I- I should go, see if I can help out." She managed.

"Mer-" Cassie called after her.

But she shook her head. "No, it's okay. Walking tragedy remember?" she snipped, and then she was out the door, her feet propelling her far, far away from this... whatever.

xxx

Grace squirmed in her bed. She was bored... so very bored. She looked around her room, which before had been semi private, but was now filled with patients and their parents as the hospital had become the one safe haven from the earthquake. With so many people here, she couldn't settle down to sleep, and she kept worrying about all the people who were hurt. Finally she sighed and sat up. She had to do something. She slipped on some sweatpants and threw a hoodie over her gown, she was going to find something to do to help.

She made her way to the first floor where the action was and tried to find someone in charge. A flurry of doctors and nurses scurried by pushing a gurney which carried a bleeding man. Grace pressed against the wall, letting them by. She entered the emergency room and felt her senses overwhelm her. People in pain, everywhere. But, in the center of it all, a stout woman with short, spiky gray hair commanded the room.

With a clipboard and pen, she wrote down names, directed people to different parts of the hospital, pointed to the appropriate staff, and all with a graceful smile.

Grace approached her and cleared her throat. "Excuse me?"

"Yes dear..." the woman said, not even looking up from the clipboard.

"I um... I can help. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Still focused on the clipboard, the woman checked off a few things before replying. "I've run out of blankets, and we need ice and plastic bags for all the broken bones... and perhaps bottles of water or juice..." And then she turned and looked down at Grace over her reading glasses. "Dear Lord!" she exclaimed, "You look just like her!"

Grace swallowed. She didn't know this woman, how did she know her? "Who?" she asked.

"Your Grandmother."

xxx

 _Standing outside the house, Carolyn stared at the long driveway and the iron fence that separated her from her fiance. She shook her head, she'd been a fool. A fool to believe in this man. She'd thought- she'd thought a lot of things, but she never thought he'd walk away._

 _Approaching footsteps caught her attention, and she raised her head, but refused to turn around to see who it was. She already knew._

 _Liz Merriwick came up beside her, her gaze following Carolyn's. "He'll come back, he always does."_

" _Mmhmm," Carolyn hummed noncommitally. "So you know?"_

" _That you're pregnant? Yes."_

" _I know he's scared, I am too. The country is going to be at war, and I am with child. I'm supposed to be a Navy nurse. Without him... without Michael... I don't know what I'm going to do."_

" _I suppose he doesn't either." Liz said._

" _Perhaps." Carolyn conceded. "But aren't we supposed to figure it out together? Isn't that the point when you get married? That you figure these things out together?"_

" _Yes..." Liz said. "He said... he said he just needed to find some direction." She raised a brow pointedly at Carolyn._

" _Direction?" Carolyn huffed. And then she remembered what he once promised, and she knew where to find him._

 _He had run away, but he hadn't run far._

 _Just next door. To the Grey house._

xxx

 **A/N:** Aha! So... Liz Merriwick is Cassie's mom... FYI in Good Witch Cannon, Cassie's parents died tragically while they were travelling in Europe. Same applies here... Also, The Good Witch show has not revealed Cassie's Husband Jake's death... so this I made up.

Anyway, please review!

Thanks!


	15. Random Dirt Covered Objects

**A/N:** Thanks for your patience everyone! I guess Good Witch started again, but I didn't realize until I noticed it on my recordings of my PVR. So I have some catching up to do!

One of my reviewers, Liliana, said that she recalled from episode one, that Jake Russell died from a gunshot in the Good Witch series. I still can't remember. For my purposes, I will stick to the fire version... but thank you anyway, at least now I know.

I struggled a little bit on this story... because I wanted to do something a little different but I didn't know how. Now I do. You'll see. Get ready!

 **ENJOY!**

Meredith had started to walk with purpose down the hallway, out of ICU, to the stairwell, (the elevators were only being used to transport emergent patients and supplies) but when she pushed open the door to the emergency ward, a sudden weariness hit her.

She took a moment, breathed in and out, massaged her neck. "You can do this," she muttered. She could help. She needed to help. Meredith observed the area, trying to figure out where she could be of most use.

Suddenly the door burst open and a man ran in, carrying a child in his arms. "My son, he- please, someone help my son!"

Instantly, she moved forward into the action. "I'm a doctor, what happened?" Meredith reached over, gesturing for someone to bring over a gurney.

"The house... it collapsed... he... oh God, do something please, he's not waking up."

"Okay, okay," Meredith began to check the boy for injuries... his arm was broken, and as she gently inspected it, he suddenly gasped and cried out, "Mommy!"

"Mommy's coming, she's coming Christopher," the man said.

"Daddy..." The boy whined, and Meredith wiped an eye before continuing her examination. Thoughts of Bailey and Zola were dancing in her mind. They were alright, right?

She expertly palpated the boy's abdomen and did the standard neuro check, pupils were fine, the boy could move all his digits, he was responsive and talking. Besides his arm and perhaps some shock, he should be fine.

"Is he..." The man asked, worry etched all over his features.

"He's going to be fine. His arm is broken, and he's a little shocky, but he will be just fine." Meredith reassured, covering Christopher with a blanket.

"He's fine?"

"Yes," she nodded, "He'll be just fine." But thoughts and worries of her own children rained down on her, and she looked around, quickly pulling a nurse aside. "This boy has a broken arm. He needs an X-ray, I don't think it's a clean break."

And then she had to go.

She rushed out the door, but not before a certain sharp-eyed Mother-in-law noticed. "Meredith!" Carolyn called, causing her to stop in the busy entrance. Eyes wide with concern, Carolyn approached swiftly. "Where are you going?"

Meredith shook her head. "I have to make sure my kids are okay. I can't..." she sighed.

Carolyn nodded astutely. She grabbed Meredith's upper arm, as if to transfer strenghth. "Go then, dear, I understand. How is Dr. Radford?" she asked.

"He's still unconscious, but he should be fine." Meredith said. She took Carolyn's hand, "Tell Cassie..." she trailed off. Tell Cassie what? Sorry? I'm too dark and twisty for your telepathic superpowers? Tell her to tell the universe to go to hell? Tell her to stop trying to fix her, that she was a lost cause anyway? She sighed. "Nevermind."

"Meredith?"

She pulled away, out the door. Her heart suddenly aching for her children. She wanted Zola's hugs and Bailey's kisses. "I..." In the corner of her eye, she saw a police car. Brandon's. He could give her a ride. "I have to go."

xxx

Grace brought ice packs and blankets to the front entrance, where a mini triage had been set up. Her ribs ached, she supposed the painkillers were wearing off now. She was tired. She probably should get some rest.

A sudden commotion at the front door caught her attention, but before she could address it, Meredith was there, taking charge and helping a man and his little son. Suddenly she was pulled aside by an orderly and a stack of blankets placed in her arms. "Can you take these to the patients in the cafeteria?"

"Okay," she nodded tiredly. She would do that, and then she definitely had to go to bed.

After she distributed the blankets, Grace gingerly sat down on a bench in the cafeteria, sipping some juice.

"May I?" A familiar voice asked. Grace nodded when she saw who it was. The strange woman with a particular air of authority about her. The bench creaked under the older woman's weight, but she sighed, pushing her feet out a bit to stretch them. "I'm getting too old for this," she said.

Grace took another sip of her juice, still unsure of what to say.

"My name is Carolyn, by the way."

"Hi." She smiled slightly. "I'm Grace."

"Grace..." Carolyn rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "That sounds like a suitable name."

Grace's thoughts ran back to earlier in the day. "So... you knew my Grandmother?" Grace asked.

Carolyn's brown eye's met hers. "I knew her for a little while, before she left for Europe. Coming back here, it feels like I've traveled back in time."

"Why did you come here?"

"I met the love of my life here," she said, a soft smile unfurled on her lips. "My husband..."

"Oh," Grace smiled, "That's wonderful!" but then she sensed a deep sadness in Carolyn. She was a widow. Like her mother, like Meredith. "I'm sorry," she put a hand over Carolyn's.

There was a speck of tears in the older woman's eyes. "We got married in Middleton, at the Grey House."

How romantic! Grace thought, imagining what must have been a splendid affair. "Really?

"And then my son died... and... I don't know what happened, I just... felt so lost. So I bought a bus ticket. Back to where it all started. And you know what happened?"

"An earthquake?" Grace asked.

"Well, there is that..." Carolyn nodded. "But-"

"You're looking for something." Grace blurted suddenly, sensing it in the woman.

Carolyn shook her head. "It sounds silly. My late husband proposed with a compass."

"A compass?" Grace asked curiously.

"Yes, we were at the Grey House at the time, it was a boarded up wreck. He climbed in, the fool, he proposed, right at the front door, with the compass... and then floor gave way, and we fell." she shook her head. "We never did find that compass. A month later he gave me a ring he worked so hard for, and I never gave another thought to that compass. Until now... I just... can't get it out of my head."

"So... you think the compass is still there?"

Carolyn shrugged. "I don't know."

xxx

Cassie sighed sadly as she watched Sam sleep. She didn't understand what was going on with her 'gift.' and Meredith. All she wanted to do was fix it, but she feared she just hurt the woman instead. Now she felt terrible.

She stroked Sam's forearm. The doctor had come in, checked vitals, marked the chart, asked if she had any questions, and left quietly to tend to other patients. He assured Cassie that Sam really was just in a deep sleep and nothing more. He would wake up when he was ready.

Nick stirred, shifting awkwardly in his chair, but didn't wake. Cassie squeezed Sam's hand, praying to whatever was out there that he'd be alright. _Please,_ she begged.

And then she thought she felt Sam's fingers twitch under hers.

Apparently, the universe was listening. His fingers twitched again, and he sighed. Cassie leaned in and rubbed his cheek with the back of her hand.

His eyes fluttered and he looked around blearily. "Hmm."

"Hey." Cassie smiled down on him.

He grimaced in discomfort, but squeezed her hand again. "Hey," he rasped.

"I was scared," she confessed. Seeing her best friend like this, and not knowing the future... that was so scary.

Sam tried to smile, it came out looking slow and forced. Suddenly he shifted. "Nick..."

"He's right here. Do you want me to wake him?"

Sam grimaced in discomfort, eyeing his son and all his gangly limbs spread out over the chair."No... let him sleep."

"Okay."

"Cassie, I"

"What?" she asked.

Sam patted the bed. Cassie shook her head. "No, that's alright."

"You can't sleep in that chair, and I had the strangest dream... would you mind?"

She couldn't fight it anymore, so as carefully as she could, she lay next to him. Sam sighed, content, and then fell asleep. It didn't take long for her to join him.

xxx

Meredith sat awkwardly in the front seat of the cruiser as Brandon drove her back to the Grey House. She tapped her fingers impatiently on the armrest as she stared out at the darkness ahead of her. God, she missed her kids, and Derek... and home... she missed home. But she still felt lost, off kilter. Like she'd fallen off the carousel. And right now she wasn't in any shape to get back on.

"I'm sorry," Brandon said.

"Sorry?" Meredith repeated.

"For earlier, I..." he sighed, "I blamed you for hitting Grace. I'm sorry. It was an accident. I know that."

"Oh," Meredith said. "It's okay, you're her brother, you wanted to proctect her."

"Still," he said, "I was out of line. I'm sorry."

"Okay, well... thanks." She flashed a smile, but her thoughts were on her kids.

They turned into the Grey House and parked. "I'll call George," Brandon said, reaching for his phone. Meredith looked at the house... something felt...

Off.

They waited.

"Weird," Brandon said. "No answer."

"You think they're inside?" Meredith asked.

"No reason why they would be... It wouldn't be safe."

Meredith shifted her weight from side to side. Something was wrong. Most definitely. She watched Brandon call again.

"No answer," He said.

Meredith shook her head. No... no no no. This could not be happening. This was not happening. Her kids... Bailey could've easily tired George out and run back into the house. He was a lousy listener, and Zola... she would've followed him, trying to bring him back out.

Meredith ran up the steps and into the house.

"Meredith!" Brandon called after her.

She ignored him. "Bailey! Zola!" She called out as she entered. "Zola? George? Somebody?"

She stepped in further, wondering where they were, worried to death. When suddenly the ground gave out beneath her and she fell.

Meredith landed on her feet, but the impact was jarring, and she dropped to her knees, moaning in pain. "Ohh, what the hell?"

"Mommy!" A familiar cry jolted her out of her pain.

"Bailey!" Her son was just in front of her, covered in dirt, seeming quite content. He raised his hands to greet her and dropped something big and shiny on the ground beside him.

"Oh Bailey!" she hugged him and kissed him a dozen times. He laughed. "Mama, wook!" he said, picking up the object again and holding it up for her to see.

"Bailey... you shouldn't be playing with random dirt covered objects," she scolded as she pulled it from his hands. What was this thing anyway? A watch? No it was too big. She lifted it open. Oh. it was a compass. She blinked in the darkness watching the needle spin until it settled on North... She shook her head. Now, where was Zola? "C'mon Bail-"

Meredith never finished her sentence. Bright dazzling light filled the room and burned her corneas. She gasped and covered her eyes, dropping the compass. The world spun. She felt dizzy. She couldn't stand up straight. "What the-" she managed to mutter before she collapsed.

xxx

 _Carolyn resisted the urge to run to the Grey House. She knew Michael needed space, but she knew... that if she talked to him, they would be alright. They could work this out. They would work this out._

 _Carolyn didn't run, but she walked quickly. She didn't want to give him too much time to mope._

 _This was a good thing. A Baby was a good thing. Marriage was a good thing. She spent a long time convincing herself of these things and now she just had to convince Michael. After all, he started it. Right?_

 _She huffed when she came up to the Grey House. "For heaven's sakes!" He had climbed through the window._

 _Sighing, she reached over and pulled herself awkwardly inside. When her feet hit the floor she huffed again. "Michael?" she called. Where would be be in this huge house?_ " _Michael?"_

 _She thought she heard something as she stepped into the foyer. "Mike?" she called again she took another step._

 _Suddenly, the floor gave way underneath her and she fell._

" _Not again," she moaned, as she tried to stand up. But there, in the dirt, was a figure._

 _The figure didn't move. And judging from the long hair splayed on the ground, this person wasn't Michael._

 _Carolyn crouched over, arching a brow. "Oh dear," she said. Who was this woman? And where was her Fiance?_

 **A/N:** Hmm, if Meredith is in the past... Where is Michael? Thanks for reading! Please review!


	16. FWOOOSH!

**A/N:** Hmm, well that was a twist, huh? Ready for another go? Thanks so much for your encouragement, beetleboo52, Patsy, mandyg67, and General Mac. And thanks Patsy for your prayers, things are looking up! Praying for you too!

This next part starts with a dream...

 **Enjoy!**

 _Meredith found herself standing on a bridge, in some woods she didn't recognize, and a small trickling stream under her feet. Downstream a hundred yards away, a man stood in the water, pant legs pulled up to his knees as he cast a long line out._

 _She watched as he tugged at the rod, the fly at the end dancing and skipping before it was quietly reeled in. "Hello?" she called out, but the man ignored her, focused on his craft. Crossing her arms, she shuffled off the bridge and picked her way through the bits of rock and dirt and fallen logs toward him. "Hello?" she asked again._

" _Shh," the man said as the rod whipped back and the line curved before snapping forward, again dancing over the water._

 _Stopping only a few feet from the edge, she watched him... and something about him was painfully familiar. The slight curve of his shoulders, the hint of dark curls under his hat, his pointed chin._

 _Was this the afterlife? Did something happen to her? Was this... "Derek?" she rasped._

" _Who?" he asked, turning so she could see him. But it wasn't Derek. He looked at her with mild curiousity, the way Derek glanced at a brain scan a surgery hungry intern handed him._

 _He was almost Derek. He could be, except there was no motorcycle scar, and he was smaller and very tanned, as if he spent a lot of time outdoors. His eyebrows were fuller and his cheekbones were wider, the chin more pronounced. And there was a sadness in his eyes that she never saw in her husband. "Um, nevermind..." she said, swallowing._

 _He blinked slowly and reeled in the line before giving her his full attention. "Are you okay?" he asked._

 _She looked around, where was she? She couldn't remember what happened, how she got here... "I- I guess I'm a little lost." she said._

" _Hm," he rumbled. "Me too."_

" _You're lost?" she asked. "But you're fishing..."_

" _Oh," he chuckled, "I know where I am... I'm just-" he sighed. "I don't know... everything is happening so fast. It's like I'm spinning on a carousel and it's going faster and faster and I can't get off."_

" _I know..." Meredith sighed and crouched down to look at herself in the water. She cringed at her exhausted countenance. "I feel the same way, except I feel like I've been thrown off."_

" _Yeah?" The man sat down beside her, his features soft and compassionate._

" _My husband died," she choked. "He died... and I feel like..." she shook her head, unable to describe the grief that ripped her in half every day. "We were happy. He- was my world, and then a truck comes and-"_

" _I'm sorry," he whispered._

" _It's just... I feel like I'm cursed."_

" _Hm," the man rubbed his lightly stubbled chin. Meredith couldn't help but gaze at him, he looked familiar, had she seen him before? "I feel the same way sometimes... especially today. My father died when I was a kid. My mother was very sick... she passed away a few years ago... I was sent here to help my Aunt. I was just starting to..." he shrugged, "Understand her... and she passed. And now... I'm supposed to be a man. Get married, take care of my wife, who told me she was pregnant. Pregnant... we're bringing a life into this world, and I barely have a job. I barely have it together. I can't- "he stuttered, "she amazes me... I've been in love with her... forever, but-"_

" _-But what? You're just going to leave?"_

" _I-" he sputtered, "I just- I need some space, some direction."_

" _No," Meredith said. The past few months flashed through her mind, how she pushed Derek to take the job, how cold her bed was in his absence, how a woman answered the phone, how he came back, and they made up and then- "Take it from me, you don't leave the person you love... not if you can help it." She turned her gaze back to the water, staring at their reflections. "Derek loved to fish... he-" Suddenly she knew who was with her. Her head snapped back in his direction. "You're him."_

 _His eyes twinkled. Like he knew something. "It's okay," he said. "You're not cursed. The world is, but not you."_

xxx

Michael Shepherd shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Ohh," he groaned as he rolled over. What happened? One minute he was at the Grey house, looking for that dammed compass, the next, he was... fishing? And now...

"Again!" a little voice shrieked, followed by clapping.

What? He sat up, frowning at the dirt that covered his suit. God, he hated funerals.

"Again!" the voice insisted.

Michael blinked and ran a hand through dusty hair before his gaze fell on a little blonde boy who was just as covered in dirt as he was. He looked around... this was the basement, right? How had a little boy gotten in here? And whose child was he? "Hi," he said, rising to sit on his knees, peering at the kid, who looked barely two years old.

"Hi," the boy said, and he picked up something from the ground. "Wook!"

The compass. He reached for it and the boy generously offered it to him to look at.

"Where did you find this?" he asked. He'd been looking for it, he just needed a reminder...

The boy shrugged, and Michael picked it up carefully. "Can I keep it?" He asked, although he intended on keeping it anyway.

"Okay," he shrugged.

"That's nice of you." He tucked the compass into his pocket. "Now where's your mom? You shouldn't be down here, you know..."

"Dunno," the boy said, "Mommy here," he pointed to the ground, "den, she went- FWOOOSH!" he held his arms over his head, eyes round and dramatic.

"Fwooosh?" Michael raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he nodded as he stood up, "FWOOOOSH!"

Okay then, he thought as he shook his head, kids. He stood up and held out a hand. "C'mon, lets go look for your mom."

"Yeah" he said, his small warm hand tucked easily into his, and for a brief second, Michael felt a trill in his heart, and wondered if that was how fathers felt.

"What's your name?" He asked casually as they made their way slowly through the darkness.

"Baywey," the boy said.

Baywey? Oh... Bailey. The boy couldn't prounonce the 'l' sound yet. "Bailey..." he hummed. An unusual name, but nice. "What are you doing down here?"

"Wookin' for Zowah."

"Zowah?"

"Big sis," the boy said, as they stepped over some debris. Strange, he didn't recall this much stuff in here before.

"Oh, your sister." Bailey, looking for his sister Zora? Zola? Now that was a strange name. And what the hell did he mean by Fwoosh?

Then he heard a rustling noise coming from near the stairs. "Hello?" someone called out, "Is someone there? I need help."

"Hang on," Michael replied, fumbling in the darkness. "I'm coming." He could see a faint light from the top of the stairs, and headed toward it. People were always messing around in this place. Of course he couldn't judge, he'd done it too.

From the outline of the shadows he could make out the shape of a man at the bottom of the stairs. Gently pulling Bailey along, he came closer. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," the man breathed, "I just... I lost her."

"Lost who?" Bailey's mom? Zora?

"This little girl, Zola... she's a guest here. She chased after her brother down here, and... I think there's a crack, I think she fell... I had a flashlight, but I dropped it and..."

"Okay, okay..." Michael could sense the man's panic. Obviously he'd been in charge of the kids for whatever reason. "I'll help you."

"Zowah?" Bailey asked.

"Is that you Bailey?" the man asked.

"George!" Bailey exclaimed. "Where Zowah?"

"She fell, Bud."

"Mommy fell and then FWOOOSH!"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind," Michael said. "Shh..." He heard something. A whimper. A sob, and then a full blown wail from just below him.

"Iwantmymommy..." came the cry.

That must be Zola.

xxx

 _Carolyn Shepherd raised an eyebrow at the strange woman she'd found at the Grey house. Strange was the only way to describe her. She looked exhausted for one, and her clothes were strange, like some sort of mismatched plain uniform. Like scrubs she'd seen surgeons wear, except they were brown instead of white. Waking her had been like raising the dead. Finally she'd given up and gotten some young men to help carry her to Phyllis' house, where they lay her on the couch in the den. She was debating now if she needed to get a doctor, but for all intents and purposes, the woman appeared to be asleep, not unconscious._

 _Unconscious people generally didn't snore. At least that was her experience. But what was more pressing was Michael's disappearance. She was certain that he'd gone to the Grey house, but except for this woman, he was not there. She'd searched everywhere the last hour, even checking out the stream behind the house where he often fished._

 _Liz was no help either, she seemed as confused and lost about the whole thing as she was. Perhaps more so, and she'd gone off, disappearing somewhere._

 _So, there she was, chewing a saltine, watching sleeping beauty. Carolyn wanted her to wake up, so she could ask her what the hell she had done with her fiance._

 _On cue, the woman stirred, her peaceful expression disappearing as she woke. "Bailey..." she sighed as she rolled over and winced. "Ow, dammit!" Her eyelids cracked open as her hand rubbed her collarbone. Taking in her surroundings, she sat up quickly. "What? Where?"_

" _It's alright," Carolyn said, "You passed out. You're at the Shepherd residence."_

" _Shepherd? What?" The woman squinted at her. "You look-" she shook her head, and then rubbed her eyes. "I- Where's Bailey?"_

" _Bailey?" Carolyn asked._

" _My son? Did you see him? He's almost two... and Zola, she's four, a little African girl?" Carolyn didn't have time to ask about Michael as the woman bounded off the couch to the door._

" _Where are you going?" Carolyn chased after her._

" _My kids... they were at the Grey House, and then the earthquake-"_

" _Earthquake?" Carolyn asked. "What earthquake?"_

 _But she was gone- out the door. Running across the lawn to the Grey House. And then she stopped and stared at it._

 _Carolyn caught up to her and grabbed her arm."What are you going on about? There are no children in that house, it's been abandoned for years. I was just in there, looking for Michael, and I didn't see any children..."_

" _Where's Brandon? The police officer? Have you seen him? Or the old guy, George?"_

" _I don't know what you're talking about dear," Carolyn said, "Like I said- the Grey house-"_

" _Let go of me!" She yanked her arm away and took off again._

 _But Carolyn was quick, grabbing the smaller woman by the upper arm. "You can't go in there!" she yelled, pulling her back. "It's dangerous! You fell down a hole!'_

" _Let go of me! My kids-"_

" _Are not in there! I looked-"_

" _You looked- but you don't even know what they look-"_

" _-I looked all over that damn house. There are no kids there, Michael isn't there, though I don't know why he isn't, and-"_

" _Michael?" the woman asked._

" _My fiance. Michael Shepherd."_

" _Fiance? Shepherd?"_

" _Yes, we're due to get married soon." Why was she looking at her like that? "Dear..."_

" _Am I- is this a dream? I'm dreaming right? Or- am I dead again?"_

 _Carolyn shook her head, what was up with this woman? Was she delusional? But the woman just shook her head. "I want my kids, and my husband... and I want to go home..." her green eyes drifted over her head to the Grey House. "I have to go." She pried Carolyn's fingers off and pushed past her._

 _Carolyn swallowed, obviously she couldn't stop her, so she figured she would go and make sure she didn't hurt herself. "Wait- I'll come help you..." she jogged up beside her, "My name is-"_

" _Carolyn," she rasped._

" _How did you know?" Carolyn had never met the woman in her life._

" _Because this is just a really bad dream. And the only way it's going to end is when I find my kids." She swiped her tear filled eye. "I don't know what happened, I went inside... I took two steps- and-" she winced, "I fell through the floor, and Bailey was there, right in front of me. I was so relieved to see him," she exhaled loudly- "He had this stupid toy, a-a-compass? I don't know..." she started to sob, "And then I had this weird dream about Derek's dad and fishing- and I think I'm still dreaming, because you look like that picture from the newspaper Cassie showed me, not like a seventy-year-old grandma... and I just- I want to go home. I want my kids, I want-"_

 _Carolyn didn't know what was wrong with this woman, she could barely keep up with her ramble, but somehow she found her arms wrapping around her thin frame and squeezing. "Okay, dear... alright, just breathe... breathe...please just breathe darling."_

 _She needed to find out what was going on. Because nothing this woman said made sense, except maybe the bit about the compass..._

xxx

Meredith couldn't breathe. She was on the verge of of a panic attack and she couldn't breathe. What was wrong with her? She remembered feeling dizzy... and then she woke up... and Bailey was gone... and everything was so... so different.

She was delusional. That was it. And hormonal. Had to be it... the combination of grief and pregnancy and stress... that had to be it right?

But everything felt so real. Delusions didn't feel this real did they? Oh... her mind raced with all the potential possiblities of sickness... and every single one just made her feel worse.

Carolyn was squeezing her. Whispering in her ear. Saying stuff that sounded comforting. For a while she fought it, her desire to find her kids overriding whatever worries she had about herself. But the damn woman was strong, and her squeeze was... it was calming her. The pressure around her body was releasing some the tension she felt inside.

"Oh," she gasped. She panted until her breathing regulated. And then she just felt so weak and tired. "I-" her legs felt like jelly and she sagged, no longer able to hold herself up. Carolyn held her as best she could and gently lowered her to the ground.

"Shh, shh, shh..."

"I'm sorry," Meredith said. "I just... I'm hormonal... and pregnant, and I'm so lost..."

"It's alright dear." Carolyn murmured, stroking her hair.

"It's funny... I get lost, and what do I find? A compass. My two-year old hands me a compass..." Meredith half laughed, half cried. "And I thought the universe wanted nothing to do with me."

"Dear, you can't possibly believe that."

"I don't... I don't know what to believe in right now."

"You said something about a compass?" Carolyn asked. "Do you have it?"

Meredith shook her head. "I don't know what happened to it..."

"I think I do..." A voice said. "I think I know what's happening."

"Liz?" Carolyn asked, looking up.

Meredith followed her gaze to the woman who stood over them. She looked just like Grace... except maybe a little taller. She _must_ be dreaming. Please let this be a dream...

"It's not a dream," Liz said, like she was reading Meredith's thoughts. "But, it's going to take a little faith to believe what I'm about to tell you."

 **A/N:** More to come! Thanks for reading, I hope that wasn't too confusing... please review!


	17. Have You Seen My Wife?

**A/N:** Wow! Thanks to beetleboo52, greysfannn, mandyg67, patsy, General Mac and TheDoctorPieMaker for all your encouragement! You guys rock! The introduction of this mysterious supernatural component really wasn't planned at the beginning, but… I've spent a good deal of time thinking about it, so we'll see how it goes!

 **Enjoy!**

"Iwantmymommy," Michael heard again from the crevice in the ground. Holy, he'd never noticed this before…

"It's okay Zola, I'm going to help you," he said calmly. "We'll get you to your mother. Just calm down and take slow deep breaths…"

"Kay," she snuffled.

The girl was barely visible in the dark, if it wasn't for her bright pink pj's, he probably wouldn't see her. "Can we get some more light in here?" he asked the man, George, was it?

"Yeah, hang on," he said, "There's a flashlight here somewhere…" Rustling and scraping followed as George shuffled around in the dark cellar. Just then, a beam of light filled the space causing shadows to dance around them.

"Lights!" Bailey exclaimed with a bounce. "Zozo!" He pointed to the crack, and wrenched his hand out of Michael's.

But he snatched Bailey's hand again, stopping him just short of the crack. "Stay right there, little guy," he said, peering down to get a better look. Beside him, George shone the flashlight, illuminating the crevice. Seeing Zola, he raised an eyebrow in surprise. An African girl? That was new… But there was no time for doubts or fear, he simply had to pull her out. Michael relinquished his grip on Bailey as George picked him up, holding the light at the crevice so he could see better.

"Okay," he got on his stomach. "You'll be just fine," He said to Zola, pushing some of his curly hair away from his face. He reached down through the rock and the dirt until he felt the smooth warm skin of her forearm. "take my hand, I'll pull you up."

A tiny dark hand found its way into his strong grip, and he pulled. For a second, there was upward motion, but then she was still stuck.

"Ow," Zola grunted.

"What's wrong?" Michael peered down through the shadows to see.

"My foot," she said. "My foot is stuck."

"Can you… turn it-,"

"It hurts!" she exclaimed, her body shaking with fear.

"Okay…" he breathed, thinking. And then he smiled. He knew what to do. He adjusted his grip so his hand was around her wrist, and reached down with his other hand…

"Are you ticklish, Zola?"

"Nooo," she said in a way that meant yes.

"Oh really?" he smirked. With his free hand, he reached down along her shoulder, to her other arm, and danced his fingers all over her…

"Hey, ha-ha ooh, hee-hee, stop it!" Zola squirmed in the little space, her body relaxing, muscles loosening.

He pulled her up…

Pop! She was free. Both hands under her armpits, he slid her out of the crack. The little girl said nothing, seemingly in a state of shock.

"Oh, thank God," George murmured, dusting off Zola. "Now, come on. We should get back outside. I don't know how structurally sound the house is, that earthquake was a knocker."

 _Earthquake?_ Michael thought, is that what knocked him out? Carolyn must be worried, he thought. God, he hadn't even thought of how she might be feeling about all this… the baby, the engagement...

He swallowed a lump in his throat. Dammit.

But Zola pulled him out of his negative spiral. "Where's my mommy?" Zola whispered, pulling on his fingers.

"Mommy went fwoosh…" Bailey answered, but then he looked around, "Momma?" he asked, peering around as if she might pop out from some dark corner.

George sighed and picked up the blonde toddler, "She's probably outside, worried sick. C'mon kiddo."

Michael stood up to follow him out, but Zola whimpered.

"C'mon Zola," he reached for her but she shook her head. "What? What's wrong?"

"Can you…" she sighed, "Can you carry me?"

Waves of empathy hit him, she must have been quite scared, of course she needed to be comforted. "Mmhm," he hummed, and drew her to himself before hiking her up to his hip. "C''mon, just hang on to me." Her little arms wrapped around his neck, and her knees squeezed around his waist. Her head bounced against his ear as he climbed the rickety stairs. "It's okay," he hummed again. Following George outside, he gasped.

It had been mid-day when he had stormed off from his Aunt's house. Now it was dark out, the faintest glimmer of a sunrise in the eastern sky. How long had he been out? "Uh…" he stuttered, looking around. Everything looked different from what he remembered. The grove of trees that separated his aunt's house and the Grey house was gone… and his aunt's house had been replaced… by another house. Something very different from what he was used to. The roundabout driveway was still there… but everything else about the Grey house was completely different. Gone were the boards around the windows and the decrepit look, gone was the worn shutters and dirty lawn. The Grey House, though marred by an apparent earthquake, was beautiful.

Michael stupidly remained frozen in place, confused and shaken.

"You found them?" a voice called. Michael turned around and face driveway. A cop raced up, holding a flashlight .

"Yeah Brandon," George said, "The kids are fine, Bailey is a rascal though," He smiled, tickling the boy, "Where's Dr. Grey?"

"I thought she was with you…" Brandon said, looking around.

"Bailey said he saw her down there," George said, nodding back toward the house.

Suddenly light flashed in Michael's eyes and he squinted.

"Who are you?" Brandon asked. "Who's he?" he asked George.

"I'm…" Michael stuttered, suddenly wary. "I'm just here to help," he said, looking at Zola, who was still in his arms.

"Where mommy?" Bailey asked, "Is she wit daddy?"

Sudden chatter from Brandon's radio distracted them, and Brandon listened intently. "I have to go. A building collapsed on Main."

"But what about-," George started.

"I'll go look," Michael said, "Maybe she hurt herself." And maybe he could find Carolyn and she would know what to do.

George put Bailey down. "I can-,"

"No, you stay here," Michael insisted, "The kids know you, I'll go look."

"Call me if anything happens…" Brandon said, heading back to his car. His car… which looked unlike any kind of police car Michael had ever seen.

"Yeah…" George glanced at Michael, and then at Brandon, "Okay then."

Michael handed a reluctant Zola over. "I'll go back in and look for her…"

xxx

 _Cassie stared down at the wreckage blankly. In her hand was a worn stuffed rabbit. "Hey kiddo," a familiar voice got her attention._

" _Jake?" she asked with a childlike voice. She looked up, way way up, into his crinkling eyes. Dressed in his police uniform, her late husband looked dashing as he smiled down at her._

 _He sighed sadly, however, as he saw the wreckage of the crash. "I'm sorry… about your mom and dad…"_

" _Oh," Cassie followed his gaze to the crumpled heap against the rocks. Above her, above Jake, at the top of the cliff was the remnants of the rusted guardrail that failed to protect them, hanging like a broken tree branch. She swallowed and hugged the rabbit closer, her tiny hands burying in the soft fur. She would spend the rest of her life wondering what her life would have been like if they hadn't died. She missed them._

" _You must miss them," Jake said, crouching down to look into her eyes._

 _She did, but not in a painful way, not in a hurting way, but in an old reminiscent way, like one would miss a certain smell or caress… or a hug or a laugh. She missed what could have been… but now…_

 _It just was._

" _I miss_ _ **you**_ _," she said. If her parents hadn't died… would she have found him?_

 _Jake blinked and swallowed roughly. "Yeah…" he sat down on the pavement and she sat on his lap._

" _This is just a dream, isn't it?" she asked._

" _I don't really know what it is, Cass…" He said from behind her. "I was… there was a bus accident, and I was there, and I saw you and Meredith and Sam-," His gaze caught hers meaningfully._

 _She shrugged in response not really knowing her feelings for him yet, especially in this moment with her husband._

" _He's a good guy," he said. "We talked."_

" _You talked?"_

" _Yeah… he had a near death whatever."_

" _A near death whatever?" She'd never heard that phrase before._

 _Jake chuckled. "Anyway… he's a good guy."_

" _Hmm," she sighed, and then realized she wasn't in a child's body anymore. Her head rested on Jake's shoulder instead of against his chest, and she could smell the faint mix of aftershave and sweat. If this was a dream, it seemed pretty real._

" _I know," Jake kissed her temple. "It's hard to move on."_

" _So, you really were there at the bus accident."_

 _Jake nodded. "Pretty amazing what you guys did over there… Meredith was…" he shook his head in disbelief, "I've been a cop for twenty-five years and seen a lot of stuff but… drilling a hole in a skull…" he whistled. "Wow. And then there was this other guy, like me, you know… he was there too, talking to Meredith. I think he was her husband."_

" _I can't read her," Cassie said, "I don't know why but… I can't seem to help her."_

" _Maybe…" Jake looked past her. "Maybe he can."_

 _Cassie realized that now they weren't at the base of a cliff with her parents crumpled Volkswagon, but now at the side of a road where a semi truck and a mangled black car sat smoking. She followed Jake's gaze to a man walking toward them, wearing a rumpled blue shirt and black slacks._

" _Have you seen my wife?" he asked, his black and grey curls bending over his forehead, distracting her from his worried blue eyes. "I can't…" he huffed, "I can't find her."_

Cassie woke, her eyes snapping open as she gasped. Where? What? Who? Still confused, she pushed up and leaned forward in the bed she was lying in.

"Ow," Sam murmured beside her.

"Sorry," she said automatically. Oh, Sam. Right… her mind rewound and replayed the last few hours as she got her bearings. Earthquake, bus crash, Sam, brain bleed, Meredith…

Meredith. Was that her husband she saw in that dream?

Sam's arm was solid against her, and she didn't resist his comfort. She was in the hospital bed with him, in the ICU. "Are you okay?" she leaned back into him, more for her sake than his.

"Yeah," he winced a little as he moved to face her better.

That dream she had was so strange… but- oddly, it felt good. She felt at peace about something. Not something, she realized. Someone. Sam. "Did I wake you?" Cassie asked.

"No," he replied, squeezing her shoulder. "I was watching you sleep."

"You were watching me sleep." Cassie repeated coyly.

"Yeah," Sam smiled, and Cassie wondered if they'd just given him pain meds from the lopsided grin on his face. Then his expression changed, and he shifted onto his side to face her fully. "Cassie, I-," he started, but she looked past him at the empty room.

"Where's Nick?" she swung her legs off the bed. She wasn't sure she was ready for what Sam was going to tell her next, so she deflected.

"I told him to go eat something and maybe visit Grace." Sam sighed, but his eyes were still bright, still gazing at her softly, intently.

"Oh," she replied, and moved to get off the bed. She should find out what was going on, call George, try to help out if she could.

"Cassie…" Sam reached for her. He wasn't going to give up was he?

She took his hand and squeezed. "I know," she gave him a morsel. "You're a good man, and I…I'm,-" Not ready? Not sure? Yes? No? Even with her connection to the universe, she still couldn't always figure out love.

"I'm also patient. Okay?" Sam said, in that way of his…

She rubbed his thumb with hers, allowing her lips to curve upwards. "Okay."

xxx

Michael crept through the house, the flashlight bouncing through every corner and crevice. He'd started in the basement, and aside from the hole in the ceiling, he hadn't noticed anything.

This wasn't the Grey house, at least not the Grey House he remembered. The old decrepit place that they were planning on fixing up for his wedding.

This was the grey house… but it had been restored. Fixed up. The carpet was bright and new, the bannister stained and polished. Pictures and decorations of all sorts hung on the walls and filled in previously unkempt corners.

This was the wrong Grey House, he thought, as he fingered the compass in his pocket.

Or maybe…

Maybe it was the right one.

He pulled out the compass and stared at it. His fingers traced the engraving. _"To Find Your Way Home, J.C.S."_ It read. J.C.S. His father, Joseph.

His father had never come home from the war.

Before he left, he'd given the compass to him.

When Michael had heard that his father was lost, he'd thrown the compass to the ground, breaking it. He'd hated the compass, always believing that if his father had taken it with him, he would still be alive, he would've come home.

But it was Aunt Phyliss who told him that… home wasn't necessarily a place.

Home could be a person.

And it was that day that he'd kissed Carolyn for the first time.

And after that it started working again.

Michael flipped the compass open as he reached the second floor. The needle spun and spun and spun, not settling on anything. He sighed and ran a worried hand through his hair. What exactly happened? He'd broken into the Grey house, overwhelmed… upset… It was so sudden, the prospect of family. Of not only loving Carolyn, but a child too. Another person to depend on him. And it scared him. What if he failed? He barely had a job… he lived with his great aunt, who just passed away, and left a mess no one wanted to clean up. He was engaged to a gorgeous, but strong woman, who was to be a Navy nurse… meaning she could be sent overseas… And now, they'd be having a child together, and they weren't even married yet.

So, he'd gone to the Grey house, to look for the compass. Because he had to know…

Something, but he didn't know what.

Was this it? he wondered. Was this… some kind of vision or dream?

He stepped through the hallway, "Hello?" he called, flashing the light around. Maybe this was indeed a dream. "Hellllooo…" he called again, stepping into a large bedroom.

He didn't see anyone in there, but he stepped inside anyway, noticing another door. A bathroom or a closet perhaps. As he walked over, he tripped, and glass crunched. Shining his light under his foot, he picked up some kind of picture frame. It was broken and cracked, but inside was a blue paper.

 _To love each other, even when we hate each other._

 _No running_

 _Take care of when senile and smelly_

 _And its forever…_

Michael smiled when he read these lines. Then he froze, and his hand trembled.

Meredith Grey, one signature said.

Derek Shepherd, the other said.

"Shepherd?" he mumbled as the paper dropped from his grasp.

xxx

Meredith sipped cool water while she leaned back against the couch. She felt like she was in a strange twilight zone. Carolyn looked very prim and very young, God, how old was she? Barely twenty probably, and yet… she was still Carolyn, Derek's Mother. Her kid's grandmother.

And Liz… was it? This strange woman must be related to Cassie, because in one light, she looked like Cassie, tall and graceful, eyes full of wisdom, and yet in another light, another angle, she glittered with Grace's mischief and innocence.

And then there was the _house._ Everything was vintage. She was in the fifties. Although she'd really only gotten a good look at the den, she could tell by the TV and the radio and the drapes, God, the drapes, this was indeed something from another era.

What the hell happened? She just wanted to wake up from this… whatever-thing.

Instead, she sighed, tucked her knees to her chest and rested her chin on top, waiting for a supposed answer to that question.

Liz looked straight at Meredith, "You've lost someone, haven't you?" she asked.

Flashes of Derek ran like a slideshow through her head. _'You're… Everything.'_ She heard him say. The morning they made love, his little smile before he closed the door…

She closed her eyes and tucked her head in, avoiding Liz. Her gaze, her questions. It had only been couple weeks.

"Oh… dear," Carolyn murmured beside her. Meredith felt a warm hand rubbing circles on her back, but chose not to respond, she could barely hold herself together.

"I think…" Liz said slowly… "You see, there's something about Middleton, the cosmic energy around it… and that compass… it was special… it was made by Gypsies… I think… you and Michael have switched places somehow."

Switched places? What the hell did that mean?

 **A/N:** Thanks for your patience! You guys are amazing! Review Please!

FYI, for those who read my other stories, I will be updating my profile to let you know what I'm working on... so if you're ever wondering...

Anyway, gonna go nap now, long day... wake me up with review alerts!


	18. Bat-Shit Voodoo Crazy

**A/N:** Thanks everyone for your patience! Still plugging away at this. In general, you can expect my updates to be monthly, or every five or six weeks, due to all the Craziness in my life. This goes to all my stories.

Mandyg67, and Patsy, thanks so much for your constant reviews in all my works. You have no idea what it means to hear back from you and to know that I made your day!

General Mac, Yes, we are totally not in Kansas… wonder where we'll go… glad you're along for the ride.

To jloveislouder13: Thank you so much for sharing your heart! One of the reasons why I write crossovers is because you would never see this stuff on TV. I totally get your obsessions. I always like to check for fanfiction for my favorite shows, so I am glad this hit the spot for you!

 **Enjoy!**

"I think you and Michael switched places," Liz stated slowly.

Meredith looked up from her tight ball. She blinked, trying to accept this concept. But she couldn't. A magical compass? Yeah freaking right. She stared at Liz, whe stared back with hopeful expectation.

"You should eat something, dear." Carolyn said, "You look pale as a ghost."

Maybe she was.

A ghost.

Meredith bit her lip, hard. Ow. Okay, so she felt pain. So, some part of this was real. Right? She wasn't dead again?

"This… this is crazy." She said finally, one hand gesturing upwards.

"I know it sounds crazy," Liz started-

"No, it doesn't sound crazy. It is crazy. You're crazy. This…whole…. Whatever-thing is, is- insane." Meredith released her knees and planted her feet on the floor. Wiping her eyes, she stood up. "I have to go find my kids."

"Meredith-," Liz said.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't know who you are, or what you want from me, but, I can't stay here. Derek is dead. My kids are missing, and I-I'm-," _lost._ "I need to find them. That's it." Find her kids… nightmare over. Right?

"Mere-,"

"Please, please, just stay away," Meredith pleaded before dashing out the back door.

She had to find her kids.

xxx

George carefully buckled Zola and Bailey into his truck. He didn't have a booster seat, but a couple of old telephone books would do. "Cassie's at the hospital," he said to Michael. "I'm going there, maybe Meredith will turn up. Brandon will be back this way in a bit if we still can't find her."

Michael paused, thinking. All he could think was that this… wasn't home. Something wasn't right, and he had to figure it out. He fiddled with the compass in his pocket. "No," he shook his head, "I need to figure something out."

"Are you sure?" George squinted at him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'll keep looking for Meredith," he smiled a little.

George hopped into the truck, "Okay, well, I won't be long, just wanna get these tykes somewhere safe."

Michael nodded. "Okay," he waved to the older man as he drove off.

Then he turned back to the Grey House. Something strange was definitely going on in this town. Sinking his fingers into his pockets, he stepped up to the front door.

xxx

Cassie stopped outside of Grace's hospital room, she was sound asleep. Nick too, leaning back in a chair beside her, his legs propped up on one side of Grace's bed.A nurse bustled in, clipboard in hand. She carefully checked over the patients in the room, before looking up at Cassie.

"Um, are you Cassie Nightingale, Grace's mother?"

"Yes," Cassie nodded.

"Great, I'm so glad we found you. We'd like to discharge her."

"Oh, good." Cassie sighed with relief.

"I have a prescription here from the doctor for some stronger pain medication. She'll need to get plenty of rest, no heavy lifting or strenuous activity, and a follow-up check-up in a week." The nurse offered her some papers to sign.

"Um, okay. Thanks." Cassie said, pleased but not surprised, knowing they needed the beds. Quickly she signed the papers and handed them over. She approached the bed and waited.

After a moment, Grace's eyelids fluttered. She sighed, and Cassie smiled down at her daughter, swiping a bit of hair out of her eyes. "Hey," she said.

"Mom, I missed you."

"I missed you too." Her hand trailed down to Grace's soft fingers and she squeezed. "Let's get your stuff, we've been discharged."

"Really?" She sat up slowly, her arm protecting her ribs.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Nick's here. Should we-,"

"I'll wake him. Sam said we could stay at their house until ours is cleared."

"That's good," Grace said. "Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I had a weird dream. I dreamed about the crash I had with Meredith.""

"Yeah?" Cassie asked, curious. Things between them had not ended on a good note the last time they talked.

"You did?" Cassie wondered about her own dream. About Jake, and Sam, and what she heard about the man who was supposedly Meredith's husband.

"Is she okay?"

Cassie hoped so. "She went back to the Grey house to be with her kids, but… George called me, he can't find her."

Grace wrinkled her nose. "That's weird."

"I know," Cassie sighed. She looked at Nick, the awkward gangly teenage boy, who was her daughter's best friend. "Maybe Nick can help me find her."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. He's worried about Sam. Maybe helping you will keep his mind off of things."

"That's what I was thinking." It seemed they had a lot to catch up on, but exhaustion was creeping up on her. "C'mon, George will be here soon with Bailey and Zola. we should go down and make sure he can find us."

"Okay."

xxx

It seemed the immediate crisis had passed. Carolyn sighed and set her clipboard down. She smiled to herself, glad that she'd been able to help. In a small way, it reminded her of her Navy days, and she mentally patted herself on the back for a job well done. Patients had been admitted, family members advised, food and water offered, blankets provided…

But now what to do?

She looked around the Emergency room, fidgeting with her fingers, parsing her lips in expectation. Just then the sliding doors opened, catching her attention, and two familiar figures ran inside.

"Momma?" a small blonde boy bounded in, followed by an older girl in bright pink PJ's

"Oh!" Carolyn gasped as she brought a hand to her lips. Was that-? Could it be-? She hadn't seen her youngest Grandchildren since the funeral, and she'd been a dazed wreck then…

Bailey put on the brakes, stopping suddenly, and blinked. But it was Zola who recognized her. "Gran?" she asked, tilting her head thoughtfully.

"Yes," Carolyn rasped, stepping closer. "Zola, Bailey… darlings!"

"Did you come to find mommy? Cause she got lost. We can't find her." The five-year old got right to the point.

"Oh, darlings, come here," Like a hen, she gathered her chicks to a few chairs in the waiting room. "Who brought you here?" she asked.

"I did."

She turned around, and it took her a few minutes to process who she was seeing. "George?" An old family friend who often frequented those Sunday picnics. They'd almost dated, but Michael had already stolen her heart.

"In the flesh. Carolyn…" he sighed. "It's so good to see you."

"I haven't seen you since when? College?

"Hm," he nodded. "You know these two rascals?" he asked.

"My grandchildren," she choked. And suddenly her thoughts were back to her dead son, and her long gone husband, and the reason she came here in the first place.

"Oh, really?" George said, oblivious to her thoughts. "Small world!" he reached to embrace her.

Carolyn accepted his hug, grateful for the comforting touch, even as she looked down at the little ones, and the fast approaching Cassie and Grace. "Quite," she said softly.

xxx

Michael had gone back to the Grey house. It was dangerous, but still, he felt… something was off about the whole situation. Something was wrong, or maybe something was right. Now that he was certain that the earthquake was finally finished, and already a little familiar with the new layout of the home, he felt a little more comfortable in his surroundings.

He began in the foyer, sidestepping the trap of a hole in the front and peering down the main hall, the flashlight beam revealing, by degrees, what this place really was.

A home.

The walls were painted in warm and deep colors, the rugs and décor seemed to be carefully chosen for comfort and 'homey-ness', far from the austere and out-dated look he was used to. He turned into the kitchen, watching his step carefully, as the quake had left quite a mess scattered about. Despite the mess of broken dishes and things on the floor and counters, there was a sense of life in this place.

 _This definitely wasn't the 'Grey house.'_

Not his Grey house.

Hand-drawn Pictures covered the refrigerator door, as well as a few photo's; A crayon drawing of someone fishing? A paper covered in scribbles and vague shapes that might be people.

The photo's… he flashed his light over them, and blinked. One of the women in them looked strikingly like Liz.

Something else caught his attention. A calendar. Pointing the light at it, he gasped. 2015?

Michael let out a small moan, slipping his hand in his pocket he fingered his compass. He'd known… he'd known that this thing had some sort of power…

But time travel?

This was crazy.

xxx

This was crazy, Meredith thought. Bat-shit voodoo crazy. But, as she stared inside the vacant, decrepit, dusty house, she realized it was not at all Cassie Nightengale's bed and breakfast.

And it wasn't home.

Or homey.

At all.

She'd sidestepped the hole she'd fallen through, and wandered into the kitchen. She'd never seen anything quite like it. The sink was one of those old deep ceramic tub-types. There was a small counter, but a huge pantry. There was no refrigerator. A tiny gas range stove sat in a lone corner, and the rest of the kitchen was filled with a large square oak table that reminded Meredith too much of her mother's house.

Still… "Zola? Bailey?" she called out. "C'mon guys… where are you?"

She felt silly, but also that she had no choice. What else was there to do?

Hearing nothing, she continued searching through the house. "George? Anybody? Please…" _is someone there?_

The living and dining rooms were practically empty, only filled with sheet covered furniture, another reminder of her old house, which only made her pine for her kids and Derek more.

Seeing nothing that indicated her children were about, Meredith decided to try upstairs.

"Hello?" she called again as she crept up the creaky steps.

xxx

Michael edged upstairs, deciding to revisit the room he'd left earlier. It was the largest room, so maybe it was the master. The bed was a mess, evidence of someone getting up in a hurry. A few children's toys scattered the floor and the bed. On the nightstand, he found an odd doll, one that seemed to come apart, it's pieces like organs. He shook his head in wonder.

Again, he found the broken frame, and the blue note inside it.

 _Derek Shepherd_. He didn't know anyone with that name, but he liked it. It was a good name. He stared at the vows, imprinting the image in his head.

Meredith… they'd been looking for her. Where had she gone? It was strange.

Wait…

He was in the future. _If_ he was in the future… was Derek…

Did he have a son?

Michael chuckled. Impossible. This was Crazy. Bat-shit crazy.

Voodoo crazy.

Except…

He clutched the brass compass, his fingers tracing the ringed metal.

He had a vague memory from when he was little… something he'd always thought was a dream, but maybe it wasn't.

" _Where's daddy?" Five year-old Michael asked his mother._

 _She raised a sharp eyebrow, "Honey, don't you remember? He went away for training…" she said as she busied herself in the kitchen, pouring flour into a bowl._

" _So, he'll be here tomorrow?" he looked up at her expectantly._

 _His mother put down the spatula and looked up from the mixing bowl._

" _Oh, Michael dear, he went away sweetie. For a little while. But he'll be back, alright?"_

" _But…"_

" _Now, go play. Go on now… outside." She put her spoon down and gently guided him to the back door._

 _The little boy slouched and moped on his way out. He didn't want to play. He wanted his father. Kicking the dirt on the worn path to the garage, he pondered this new feeling of… absence._

 _The door to the garage was heavy and it took a few tries to finally push it open. But it did open._

 _All of his father's neatest things were here. He often snuck in to play with them. There was the fishing poles and lures that he made, his tools that he used for his job, plumbing, and… in the far corner, a crank operated record player._

 _He thumbed through the various titles absently, knowing some of the letters but none of the words, when his gaze fell upon a familiar object. His father's compass._

 _He picked it up, thinking of his father, and opened it, fascinated at the spinning needle, as it finally landed on 'N'._

 _Then something happened._

 _He was surrounded by bright white light… and in less than a blink of an eye-_

 _He wasn't in the garage anymore._

 _Michael found himself surrounded by long green grass, bushes and trees._

 _And there, less then three feet away from him, was his father._

 _James Shepherd was crouched in the bushes, a group of men beside him. He was dressed in green, and wore a gray helmet. In his hands was a long rifle. "On my mark-," he called, glancing quickly over the ridge they were hiding in. "Fire!" He commanded._

 _Crack-crack cracka-cracka crack crack!_

 _The sound startled Michael, and he covered his ears and cried in shock._

 _James spun around. "What? Michael what're you-," His gaze landed on the compass in his son's lap. "Oh, Michael," he whispered, hugging his son._

" _Daddy?" the boy asked._

" _Shh," he said, picking up the compass. "Not now. You weren't supposed to touch that." He shook his head, placing the compass in his son's hands and opened it._

" _Go home," he said._

" _But, I don't wanna-,"_

" _I know. But you're a big boy now. I need you to take care of your mom okay? I need you at home."_

" _But, daddy-," he protested._

" _Listen, I'm okay. I'm alright. I'll see you soon. Okay buddy? But right now… think of your bed, it's nice and warm… and I bet your momma is making cookies right now… and what about Murray, your dog? He's gonna miss you."_

" _Daddy…"_

" _Shh, it's okay. Go home. Stay there. Wait for me."_

" _Dad!" How was he supposed to go home? He didn't even know how he got here._

 _His father took his small hands in his larger calloused ones. He placed the compass in the palm of his hand, and opened it._

" _Think of home," he said. "Your warm bed, Mama's hugs, Murray… Close your eyes Michael, and remember…"_

 _The next thing he knew Michael was back in the garage, among his father's things._

 _Murray, his dog, jumped up on him, his claws poking his stomach. "Arrf!" he barked._

 _Carefully, Michael set the compass back on the shelf where he got it. He blinked a little, adjusting to his surroundings, then bent down to hug his dog._

 _He was home._

Michael blinked away the memory. It had happened so long ago, he'd thought it was a dream.

But, maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was real.

Then why was he here? How did he get here?

He had to go back.

He decided to try an experiment.

Michael headed for the basement, compass in hand.

xxx

Meredith huffed with frustration. The place was empty. Empty and abandoned, like she felt.

How did this happen? How did she end up here? Did she really travel back in time? It didn't make sense. "Argh!" she growled, her fist pounding the doorframe. "Ouch! Dammit!" she cried.

She allowed herself a sob before she wiped her eyes. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, a sign of her grief and frustration. She just wanted her kids. And she really, really wanted Derek. Like that would happen…

There was one last place to check. The basement.

xxx

There, in the basement of the house, Michael found the approximate spot that he landed. He held the compass, opening it carefully, and watched the needle spin. It landed on North.

He closed his eyes, thinking… he wanted to see Carolyn. He needed reassurance. He held the compass out, and waited.

Nothing happened.

He squeezed his eyes closed, thinking of Carolyn. She was his home.

Still nothing… except…

The compass tingled in his hand. It vibrated.

xxx

Meredith padded down to the basement morosely. A small beam of light from the hole she fell through lit her way through the basement.

"Stupid hole," she muttered as she tried to make her way through the dark. "Zozo! Bailey! It's mommy! Come on out!"

She waited, walking in small careful steps. "Come on guys, stop playing ga-," but she was cut off as her foot caught on something, and she tripped and fell flat on her face in the dirt.

xxx

"Ouch!" the compass burned Michael's hand, and he dropped it.

But as it fell…

It disappeared.

xxx

"Ow!" Meredith whimpered, pulling herself up from the hard dirt floor. "Oh…" she moaned, and this time she couldn't stop the sob that burst from her throat. "I hate this! I hate this! Why does stupid crappy crap always happen to me?" she pounded the ground in frustration as she tried to pull herself up.

On her hands and knees, something caught her eye. The light from the hole reflected into her eyes. And she raised her hand to block the glare.

It was so bright and shiny.

Feeling a little dizzy, she crawled over to the beam of light. At least she wouldn't fall on her face.

An object. A random dirt covered object.

A compass.

The compass?

Meredith reached for it and picked it up. The metal was bright and warm in her hands. Curiosity overcame her and she opened it up.

The needle spun and spun and spun…

She felt dizzy, trying to swallow, as her eyes followed the needle.

And then she felt nothing and everything went white.

xxx

 **A/N!** I know! Another cliffie! So sorry! But I'll make it up next chap!

Dedicated to Sarah. Your mother will be greatly missed.


	19. He was the Love of her Life

Off the carousel

 **A/N:** Whew! I am happy to be back with this story, aren't you? Thanks to all the wonderful people sticking by this story. I know it's been forever, but I don't plan on abandoning my work… so stay with me!

A note about the compass… Yes, it's magical, made by gypsies or whatever… and the combination of Middleton's 'charm' and the presence of the Nightingale's, (Cassie, Liz, Grace…) and the earthquake releasing some extra energy has made it act a little strange… but it's for a reason, you'll see. Just go with it! It's fiction after all.

Anyway,

 **Enjoy!**

Everything echoed strangely around Meredith, and she thought she was underwater for a second. The rush and burble of water was heard amidst soft airy stillness. Was that… did she hear… birds? One side of her felt warm, like she was under a tanning lamp. A sigh escaped her. Under her eyelids, a warm orange glow became bright white when she blinked. She sighed again, her fingers scrunching… grass? "Mm," Meredith murmured, rolling onto her back. "Ow," she winced from the bright sunlight burning into her corneas. She raised her good arm to shield her eyes from the sun. The sky was a beautiful blue framed by dappled green from the tops of the trees.

Meredith sat up and scrubbed her face.

She was in a field.

Under her palm lay a cold hard object, and she pulled away from it.

The compass. Not knowing what else to do, she pocketed the item. "Okay, Derek," she said quietly to the sky, "Not only am I a widow… but I'm pregnant and I must have Alzheimer's cause I have no idea where the hell I am. It's your fault, you and your stupid penis…" she smirked before choking back a sob. God, she missed him. After a few moments of hesitation, she pushed herself up. Where should she go now? In the distance, she could hear the soft rush of a nearby stream, so she decided to head there. Wasn't that what all the survivalist people said?

Meredith followed a bit of a trail through the woods, and finally stepped out onto the bank of a stream. She rubbed her belly absently, somehow the sound of the gurgling water relaxed her. She wanted to freak out, she just… couldn't. Meredith wandered along downstream for a while, coming around a bend. When she looked up from the rocky path, twenty feet ahead of her was a worn-out bridge. Hope swelled in her. Civilization couldn't be too far away, right? But as she drew closer, the unmistakeable form of a boy sitting on the bridge caught her attention.

xxx

"Hello?" Cassie called as she entered the Grey House. George had borrowed a van and dropped everyone off, her and Nick as well as Carolyn, Grace and the kids, who had settled in at Sam's house next door.

Now she just had to find Meredith to complete this group. "Meredith?" She called again, "Zola and Bailey are fine, we-," Cassie shook her head, something felt… off.

Nick stepped in behind her, his flashlight beam joining hers and dancing across the floor.

And then she was falling.

"Cassie!" Nick shouted as the floor beneath her gave way.

Cassie shrieked and flailed her arms as her breath was stolen and her heart jumped into her throat. "Ohhh," she groaned, the shock from the hard landing rippling through her feet to her ankles, up her calves to her knees.

"Cassie?" Nick called from above, "Are you okay?" his flashlight shone through the hole, and she looked up, shielding her eyes with one hand.

"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine…" she said, a hand to her chest, feeling the panic and adrenaline ebb away. "Be careful. That floor isn't stable." Cassie squinted, "I may as well take a look down-," she stopped as she registered a noise. "Hang on," she said, picking up her flashlight. Peering through the darkness, Cassie shuffled forward. "Hello? Anyone here? Meredith?" She feared that Meredith had fallen into the same trap she had.

There it was again, the noise. Like someone breathing. Or trying _not_ to breathe, or…

"Oh," she said, as the light illuminated a figure right in front of her. It wasn't Meredith… It was a man. "Are you alright?"

xxx

At Sam's spacious home, Grace winced as she leaned forward in the recliner while Carolyn mothered her.

"Are you alright?" Carolyn asked as she propped a pillow behind Grace's back.

"Yeah," she breathed softly as she adjusted herself on the recliner, "thanks." Her ribs ached, but it was more like a dull throb, and she'd learned to tolerate it. She sighed, and looked out the window to the house across the way. Her house, the Grey house. What a strange and bizarre few days it had been.

Carolyn looked around the dark house appraisingly, "It was nice of Sam to let us stay here."

"Yeah, he's cool." Grace said of Sam Radford. He was a good doctor, and a good family friend. It was good to have someone to rely on, and somehow, she knew despite the trauma he suffered, he'd be okay and back to himself in no time. She hoped Nick wouldn't worry too much about him, or her for that matter. He'd been so kind, coming and checking up on her all the time. Grace let her muscles relax as she pulled the comforter up over her stomach. She was so tired.

In the corner on the loveseat, Zola and Bailey slept together, covered in blankets. Nick and Cassie had gone to look for Meredith, and George had driven into town to find out what to do, what the next step was, and to see if anyone needed help.

"It must be nice to have your boyfriend so close," Carolyn remarked.

Grace blinked, "What? Oh Nick?" heat filled her cheek as she thought of him. Boyfriend? "Oh, he's not- we're not- We're just friends…" she trailed off defensively. She'd never really thought about having a _boyfriend._ Nick? Her boyfriend? That was a silly thought.

"Friends? Oh…" Carolyn nodded slowly, "I see."

Grace shook her head and sighed. "It's okay, everyone just assumes we're together, but we're just friends. Really."

"Of course," Carolyn said neutrally. She shone a flashlight down the hall to a closet and opened it, finding some more bedding.

"I mean… it's not like I love him, love him… like romantically…" Grace rambled. Why was she rambling? "I love him… as a friend."

"Platonic," Carolyn offered.

"Exactly," Grace said, glad Carolyn agreed with her. She fidgeted with the blanket, sighed, and closed her eyes. "We're just friends."

"Good. He's a nice boy."

"Yeah, he was with me at the hospital, and-," she stopped. Swallowed. Something caused her to think. Nick was a good friend. A really good friend. He was nice to her, and she cared about him. That didn't mean… did he…? Did she…?

"And?" Carolyn prompted, unfolding a comforter.

Grace smiled tiredly, unable to explain her thoughts and not really wanting to. "Nothing, I'm tired," she dismissed the older woman.

Carolyn's dark eyes glinted in the black. "Rest then, dear. I'll be right here."

xxx

"Hello?" Cassie called, stepping closer to the hunched figure, careful to avoid flashing the light right in his face.

"I don't… I…" he sputtered.

"It's alright, the earthquake is over," she reassured. How did this man get here? It just… something didn't seem right. "Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?" Concern laced her voice, and she hoped Nick would get here soon.

The man stared blankly ahead, "I'm…," he cleared his throat. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Cassie released a breath. "Okay good," she looked around, trying to figure out what to do next. Nick was making his way to the basement stairs, so he would be down in a minute. But the house wasn't stable, they had to get out of here. And where was Meredith? "Look, it's probably not very stable here right now, so…"

"I know, that hole's a doozy." He flashed a quick smile before carefully pushing himself up. "I'm fine… I think maybe… maybe I hit my head. Could you tell me what year it is?" he asked, rubbing his temple.

"The year?" Cassie reached for the man when he swayed slightly. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Dizzy," he whispered, "Everything's spinning. "I… please, please tell me what year it is."

Cassie's heart ached for him. Through the dim light, she could see pain and confusion in the poor man's eyes. Something was terribly wrong. Gripping his wrist just a little harder, she said, "The year… is 2015."

"2015?" he gasped, shock etching his rugged features. "Oh God," he uttered before his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he collapsed.

xxx

"Hello?" Meredith called out to the boy on the bridge, scrabbling for balance on the rocks near the bank of the stream. "Hello?" she called again, closer now. Had he even heard her?

"Argh!" the boy spat out in frustration as he threw something into the water. Seemingly oblivious of her presence now only a few feet away, he let out a pained sob.

Meredith reached for the handrail and stepped onto the bridge, observing the boy. He looked to be about twelve or thirteen, although he was small, despite his wild curly locks. "Are you alright?" she asked. Her heart hurt for him. He seemed quite upset. She stepped a little closer, wanting to help him, despite her own need to find her way out of this… whatever.

The boy whirled around, brushing tears from his eyes with his forearm. "I'm fine!" he snarled. "Who are you? Did Gran send you?"

His reaction startled her, and Meredith wrapped an arm around her belly protectively. "Uh, no… um, hi… I'm Meredith. I just…" she thumbed back toward where she came from. "I got a little lost."

"Oh," the boy looked back down at the stream below, swinging his legs under him. A fishing pole and tackle box sat between them. Meredith wanted to ask how to get back… to Middleton, but the boy… He seemed so hurt. And so familiar. She stared out at the water as if flowed peacefully along its path and sighed before lowering herself down to sit on the other side of the tacklebox. Derek had a similar box full of fancy fishing flies and lures. He'd tried to teach her a couple times, but she just wasn't interested. Besides there wasn't a bathroom where he fished.

God, she missed him. "My husband fished," she said, gesturing at the box.

The boy looked at the box and dug into it, pulling out a lure. "Yeah, so did my dad, he taught me a little, but…" he shrugged, staring at the colorful, feathery lure. "He's gone, so…"

There was something about the boy's expression, the way his chin dropped and his Adam's apple bobbed. The lustre of his sea-blue eyes, the dark curly bangs that dangled over his brows. Meredith rubbed her eyes. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be.

She was hallucinating, right? But he looked almost… he looked just like…

"What?" the boy snapped at her, eyebrows slanting in suspicion.

"Derek?" Meredith choked out.

xxx

Voices outside the window forced Carolyn from her light doze beside her grandchildren. Glancing outward, she saw the familiar shapes of Cassie and Nick dragging a man between them, his arms looped around their necks. She bolted to the door, concerned. Opening it, she gasped, "Oh, my…" she said, a hand going to her mouth.

Cassie and Nick barged past her, panting as they shuffled into the living room. "He fainted," Cassie said as she laid him on the couch.

"Good Lord," Carolyn murmured. "I'll get a compress ready," she said. Sometimes just changing the temperature a little was enough to stir them awake.

"I don't know what to do…" Cassie wrung her hands before propping a pillow under his head.

Nick shrugged, "I don't know either."

"Should I call for an ambulance?" Cassie asked.

Carolyn wet the tea cloth with cool water, an ambulance seemed unnecessary considering the circumstances. "Nonsense, he's breathing, he'll be fine. No need to crowd the hospital." She was a nurse after all. She walked back to the living room. "How long has he been out?"

"Not long…" Cassie said, her voice trailing off before she glanced up from the man to Carolyn, her expression confused.

"What?" the older woman asked. "What is it?"

Cassie covered her mouth in shock and looked intently back down at the man lying on the couch. "Does he look familiar to you?"

"What are you talking about?" Carolyn asked, her gaze darting back to the man on the couch, "I've never seen-," but then she felt the rag drop slip out of her hands as she realized who really was lying there on the couch. The love of her life. "Michael?"

xxx

Sharp blue eyes bored into Meredith's heart. "How do you know my name?" he demanded, voice cracking.

"Um," she stuttered. Crap. He was Derek? What? Somehow, saying you're my husband-in-a-thirteen-year-old-body didn't make sense.

"Gran did send you!" He accused, "I knew it! I told her I just needed to be alone! I just needed quiet! Nobody listens to me!" Derek yelled, jumping up and grabbing his stuff. "Go away Meredith! Leave me alone!" he shouted as he took off running into the woods.

Meredith sat, stunned for a second… and then… Maybe it was hormones. Maybe it was her broken heart, or her confusion. Maybe it was Derek's teenage brokenness, but Meredith ran after him.

He was the love of her life.

 **A/N:** Okay… here we go! Please Review!


	20. Another Half

**A/N:** Hello Again! Yes, I do update now and then…

 **Enjoy!**

Twigs snapped under her heavy footfalls; leaves and branches rustled as she pushed through the dense forest, and Meredith panted hard as she crashed through the woods. "Wait! Please!" she called after Derek, but he showed no signs of stopping. She jumped over a log, dodged a tree, and ducked under a branch. He was too fast though, "Derek!"

Great, now he was climbing a steep embankment. But Meredith pushed on. "No one sent me!" she shouted between pants.

"Liar!" young Derek accused, scrabbling for hanging tree roots.

She saw a flash of blue eyes as he snaked up the embankment, pulling himself further and further away from her. Meredith pressed on, her hands running along the dirt, trying to find purchase along the small cliff, trying to get a footing in the soft sandstone. There was no other way to him but up. She couldn't lose him again, no matter how insane the situation seemed. "Please!" she begged, hoping he would stop.

"Go away!"

"I can't!" Above her, Derek grunted, now nearing the top of the cliff. Dirt tumbled down from each step, dusting her as she followed him. Pressed against the soft rock, she reached for a tree root, testing it as she tried to pull herself to the top. But as she did so, the rock beneath her gave way and she slipped, "Ah!" she shouted in surprise, clutching the root as her lifeline.

The root pulled, then snapped! Wordlessly, she fell. She didn't fall so much as slide, tumble, and roll, crashing down the side of the cliff. Moaning with pain, she skidded to the bottom. "Derek!" she called, looking up to the top of the embankment, but he was gone.

Trying again, Meredith attempted to climb back up, but the loose gravel under her caused her to lose her footing and she slipped once more. Stuck, covered in dirt, she wiped unwelcome tears with burned palms. "Derek!" she pleaded. "Please…" she felt her body clench with grief.

But she refused it.

Turning, she pushed herself back onto her feet, "FINE!" she yelled, shaking with anger. At Derek. At the cliff. At fate. "GO AHEAD! RUN AWAY! THAT'S WHAT YOU DO! That's what everybody does, they just leave me!" she huffed. "I'm fine! What's another one, huh? What's another _half_ of me?" Meredith choked, unable to contain herself anymore.

 _Is this death?_ she wondered. Was she living in some strange afterlife? Maybe she really did die in that car crash. Maybe the last couple days were just a strange transitioning dream, and now she was dead, really dead. Dirtnap dead.

Or maybe she was in a coma… and she just had to wake up.

Meredith pulled the compass out and opened it. The needle spun and spun. "I want to go home," she told it. "I want to wake up." _Please wake up_ , she told herself. _Wake up, Meredith._ The needle spun clockwise for a moment, and then reversed, going counter clockwise, but nothing happened. No shiny white light, no dizziness, no nausea. The world stayed perfectly still. Somewhere out in the woods, a crow cawed. She felt the breeze on her cheeks. Nothing changed. She was still here… wherever this was. Lost, alone and frightened, Meredith had reached her limit. "Dammit!" she cursed, throwing the useless brass instrument in the air. It landed hard on the ground several feet away, bouncing and skittering along the gravel. "Damn it!" she cried. Anger and frustration gave way to grief and fear and loss, and everything in between. Meredith couldn't stop the deluge this time.

She wept.

xxx

"Hmm," Michael sighed before opening his eyes. He felt comfortable, and warm for a moment before reality seeped in…

He remembered the calendar.

 _What year is it?_

 _It's… 2015._

He flinched, blinked, and looked up. Darkness surrounded him. Maybe it had been a dream. Maybe it was a dream that he ended up here, and he was back in the basement of the Grey house.

Except he wasn't.

He was on a comfortable couch, in the living room of a strange house. Michael sat up and rubbed his eyes. But from the other room, he heard voices, people talking.

"-How is it possible?"

"I don't know…"

"Michael died… How is he here now?"

Hearing his name, Michael pulled himself up. His head ached a little, but he was fine. Slowly, he shuffled in the darkness toward the sound of the voices.

"He asked me, Carolyn. When I found him before he fainted, he asked me what _year_ it was."

"What year?"

"Yes. I told him 2015. I think… the earthquake… I think…"

"What?"

Michael stared into the candlelit kitchen. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he caught the gaze of the taller younger woman, who stopped and stared at him. God, she looked like Liz.

"What?" the older woman asked again, and that voice… _that voice._

Somehow, he knew exactly what happened. "I traveled in time," he said roughly.

The older woman turned, and his breath caught. She'd aged, her young, naïve, hopefull countenance was replaced with older, wiser lines. But… it was her all the same. "Carolyn," he called softly.

"Mich-," she started, but he leaned forward, cupped her cheeks and kissed her like he should've done the last time he saw her.

xxx

When Michael pulled away, Carolyn gaped up at him, dazed. She hadn't been kissed like that since… Since… well, ages ago.

"Michael…" she breathed. Her heart pounded, her lips throbbed from his touch. Was this a dream?

"Carolyn, I…"

"I don't understand… how is it possible that you're here?" She interrupted. _You died,_ she wanted to say. _You're dead._ But here he was; his locks dark and luscious, his jawline firm and square, the stubble… just right. Wrinkles that used to crease his face in the usual places were gone, Michael didn't look a day over twenty-five.

His hands slid down to her shoulders. "I think I know what happened… but can we-," he glanced over her shoulder at Cassie. "Just talk alone for a minute?"

Cassie nodded, "I'll check on Grace and the kids," she said, picking up a flashlight and padding down the hall.

Michael led Carolyn to a chair and pulled one over to sit beside her. He took her hand in his, running his fingers over hers, studying them. "I'm sorry for walking away from you," he started.

"When?" she asked, bewildered. She supposed she was still in shock, seeing the other half of her in this way. Her mind was trying to backtrack to when he looked this good. Not since… it must have been around the time-

"-At my Aunt's funeral," said Michael. You told me you were pregnant, and I… didn't handle it very well."

"Oh," She recalled that day, it had been etched in her mind as a significant moment in their relationship. Also… it was Kathleen she was pregnant with. "It's alright, you were just scared."

"Yeah," he nodded, and his eyes crinkled with particular mirth that she missed. "So this is the future, huh?"

"It's 2015," she managed to smile, "don't you dare faint."

Michael snorted. "Are we still together?"

Carolyn licked her lips, choosing her words carefully. Did she tell him he died much too early? "There's only one 'other' half," she replied finally. "That's you."

"Kids?"

"Many. And Grandchildren. You've met two of them already."

"Hmm," he rumbled in a way that reminded her of her son even more so, "Derek?"

Carolyn's breath caught, she blinked back a tear at the mention of her dear son. "Your son. He's got your eyes and my temper." She smiled bittersweetly and hoped she wouldn't have to say… that he died.

"Mm," he squeezed her hand.

"Michael…" Carolyn sighed, it was time to get to the point, "What is this? How are you here?"

"My aunt told me something around the time I met you. She told me that home wasn't necessarily a place. It could be a person."

"Okay…" Carolyn nodded.

"You remember that old compass I gave you?"

"The one we lost in the Grey house?" The one she came looking for.

"Yes. I went looking for it. Just now, back in my time. I don't exactly know why… I guess I needed some direction. I just needed to reassure myself, that we'd make it, that I'd be okay… And I ended up here, it sent me here. I… earlier, when I was in the Grey house, I held it, thinking of you, but it wouldn't…"

"Take you back?"

"Yeah."

"The compass could take you through time?"

"Oh no," Cassie exclaimed from the hall, "Meredith- she was looking for her kids- she was… she could've been in the basement of the Grey house. What if she traveled through time too?"

xxx

She wept.

" _Stay here," he said, smiling. "Don't move," he cupped her cheek. "Wait for me," He kissed her lightly on the lips, his eyes sparkling, his face shining with love for her._

" _Derek is dead," she rasped to her colleagues in the attending's lounge. But they didn't hear her. "Derek is dead," she said again._

" _Oh, hey Mere, I heard there was weather in Dulles-,"_

 _How many more times did she have to say it? She could hardly believe it herself. "Derek. Is dead," she managed, a little louder this time. The room spun. Faces of her friends, people she called family, whirled around her like she was on a carousel. She felt faint, her knees trembled. Derek was dead. He was gone. He told her to wait, but he never came back._

 _He always came back._

 _He was supposed to come back._

 _But he was gone._

 _All strength left her, and she fell into blackness._

Despite the calming burble of the stream, Meredith couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop trembling with grief, shivering with cold. She lost track of time. Lost track of herself, where she was… Her purpose… only vaguely aware of the chill on her body and the grime on her fingertips.

Truthfully? She wanted to die. Not that she was suicidal… It just hurt. Everything hurt. And for once, there was nothing to distract her from the fact that the love of her life had been ripped from her life so quickly and without warning. She was alone. So, so alone now…

Meredith's sobs turned into snivels and hiccups, and she wiped her eyes, blinking. She was still here, in this wretched place. Did she hallucinate him? Had there really been a boy on that bridge? She couldn't think anymore about it. She just wanted to… maybe if she fell asleep, she'd wake up and realize this was all just a freakish nightmare. Meredith closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around her knees and hoped to fall asleep.

 _She woke to a pinching pain in the back of her hand. She winced, her eyelids fluttered "Mmm," she moaned. Blinking, she saw a familiar figure hovering over her. "Owen," she muttered._

" _Hey," he said softly, brushing hair out of her face. "You fainted. It's probably dehydration."_

" _Derek's dead." She voiced the first thing that came to mind. Everything since five o'clock was a blur. Except that._

" _Yeah, you mentioned that. How did he…" Owen sat on the side of her bed. "What happened?"_

 _Meredith thought back through the muddle of stuff she remembered. "Car accident. He was trying to- he helped some people…" she mumbled before it really sank in. He was dead. She signed the papers. They pulled the tube. She felt his chest rise and fall for the last time. She closed her eyes. Maybe this was a nightmare. Maybe, if she fell asleep, she'd wake up and he'd be there._

" _Meredith?" Owen asked, but she ignored him. This was just a dream, right?_

"Meredith?"

She shook her head.

"Hey."

"No," she muttered, "no."

She felt a light touch on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No," she replied, head still buried between her chest and her knees. Who was speaking to her anyway?

"So, Gran didn't send you?"

Oh.

Him.

He came back.

"No," Meredith sniffed, not ready to face the thirteen-year-old version of Derek again. She heard the crunch of gravel as he shifted, obviously uncomfortable and uncertain. Finally, he came beside her and snaked his arm hesitantly around her shoulders. The sigh she released was unexpected, but it caused her whole body to relax, and without realizing it, she leaned into him.

 **A/N:** Thanks for your patience! **Please Review!**


	21. Works When I Open it

**A/N:** Thanks everyone, for your patience!

 **Enjoy!**

Eventually, Meredith regained her awareness and sat up, wiping her eyes with her palms. Derek's arm loosened around her and he brought it around his knees. "Oh," Meredith sighed again, shifting so that the blood recirculated to the numb areas of her bottom. "You came back."

"Yeah," he said, "You were yelling. What did you mean, everybody leaves you?"

"It's nothing." Sniffing, she turned to him. Derek's gaze was soft and pained. He really felt for her at that moment, she could tell. She hadn't seen that look on him since… Probably since the plane crash, when Mark and Lexie died. She cracked. "My husband, h-he died." Strange, to say that, looking at thirteen-year-old Derek.

His expression changed to grief. His hand found hers. "Mmm," he said, and it slew her. "My dad died."

This time, it was her turn to hug him. He shuddered and quaked in her arms. "It's not fair! It's not fair! They shot him!" he exploded, "They just shot him right in front of me! How could they do that? He didn't do anything… he didn't… _do_ anything, and they just…" he trailed off, his lips forming a deep frown as he moaned. Unable to stop herself, Meredith cried too, pulling him closer, squeezing him harder. The world faded away, and it was just them and their raw grief. "I know… I know… I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," Meredith murmured over his shoulder while her fingers grazed his curly locks.

It wasn't fair.

None of it was.

Nobody should die. Nobody should be taken so suddenly.

But this was life.

And Bad Things happened.

They just held each other. Leaned on each other. It felt so good, she never wanted to let him go. Finally, Derek murmured something.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"You knew my name…" he said, "I've never met you before."

"Oh, um…" she just shrugged as she pulled away a little. "You just… look like someone I knew back home."

"His name was Derek?"

"Y-yeah," Meredith nodded. How do you tell a thirteen-year-old that he just hugged his future wife?

You don't.

So, they sat awkwardly along the stream until Derek noticed something. "Hey, what's that?" Derek pointed to the bronze glint of the compass among the rocks.

"Oh that," Meredith sighed. Did Derek know what it was? Could he help her?

He reached over and plucked it from the gravel. "It's a compass…" he dusted off bits of dirt.

"Yeah, but it's broken," Meredith said, frowning.

When Derek flipped it open, Meredith looked at it over his shoulder. It spun and spun for a second, and then it stopped, the arrow quivering slightly in place, pointing back toward the bridge. "Works when I open it," he smirked.

 _Goes faster when I press it._ Meredith remembered.

She squinted at him and made a face, "Well, it got me lost." Some things never change.

"Maybe it can get us un-lost. Wanna try it?" He jumped up and stared across the stream, where the arrow was pointing.

Why not? She had nowhere else to go. "Help me up," she said.

xxx

Cassie set down her tea and stared into space. Something didn't feel right. The universe didn't feel right.

"Meredith traveled back in time?" Carolyn repeated.

"It makes sense," Michael said quietly.

The three of them had gathered in the candle-lit living room, facing each other. Trying to figure out what in the world was happening here in Middleton.

"How?" Carolyn asked.

"Honestly," Michael said, "It's just sort of a feeling I have."

Cassie remained silent, thinking. So much had happened lately, she hadn't had time to really think… take it all in. Now...

"Cassie, You remind me of Liz Merriwick," Michael said.

"Liz…?" Cassie rasped, pulled from her thoughts. "She was my mother."

"Was…?" He squinted at her.

Cassie's shoulder lifted in a sad gesture. "She died. A long time ago, I never really… knew her."

"Hm." He pondered.

"I need to… " Cassie stood up abruptly. Of course, that was it. Michael had given her the clue. Thank you universe! "I need to go."

"Cassie-,"

"No, it's alright, I won't go far… it's just with everything happening… I need to get perspective."

"You won't go too far?" Carolyn asked.

She shook her head. "Not far at all. Just in the woods behind us." She picked up a small canvas shopping bag. She'd need a couple items. A flashlight, of course, she also took one of Sam's hoodies; candles, and matches. Sam didn't have incense, but she could find everything else she needed in the woods.

Before leaving, Cassie crept down the hall to Sam's room where the kids were. Zola was resting her head on Grace's shoulder while she read a story from a tablet, and Bailey quietly played with a little toy truck up and down the bed.

"Hey, mom," Grace greeted with a smile.

"Did you find mommy?" Zola asked.

Cassie shook her head. "No, but I'm sure she's alright. Hopefully, she'll come back soon." She sat on the bed and stroked Bailey's hair.

"I hope so too," Zola said. "I miss her. She's not going to die like Daddy, right?"

Cassie's heart ached. "No," she said softly. "I'm going to find her." She patted Zola's head.

"How?" asked Grace.

She wasn't exactly sure. "There's something about the energy of this place. The earthquakes, the strange dreams… I can't put my finger on it." The universe wasn't right. She held up the bag, "So, I'm going to ask for help."

"From who?"

But Cassie only smiled. "Watch the kids okay? If I'm not back by morning, send help. I'll be at the old bridge."

"Okay," Grace squeezed her hand. "I love you, mom."

Cassie kissed her daughter's forehead. "And I, love you."

Leaving them, she steeled herself and headed out into the darkness.

xxx

Carolyn and Michael were alone now. She couldn't stop looking at him. She felt like a schoolgirl swooning over a crush.

He noticed her looking at him and his eyes smiled at her. Carolyn sat next to him and picked up his hand. "If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up," her voice trembled.

His fingers moved within hers, and he stroked the soft skin between her thumb and index finger, something he always used to do. Those little touches, soft caresses, gentle teasing looks.

She'd forgotten how much she'd missed that.

"I heard I died," his voice was less than a whisper.

Her heart squeezed. "Do we have to talk about that?"

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "No," he said.

"I don't know how much about the future I should tell you about."

"Then don't," he said. "Tell me a story… about you."

"About me."

"Yes, like when you were in nursing school."

Carolyn chuckled. "You really want to hear about immature, overachieving sorority girls?"

He shrugged, "Whatever you want to tell me is fine."

"Aren't you worried? You're stuck here, more than fifty years in the future…"

"Care," he said, using her nickname, "A couple hours ago, I was scared and worried about a wedding, building a house, and raising a baby. Now, I'm in the future… and I see they way you look at me, and I know now, that everything will go, the way it goes… I don't know why that ever scared me. So… sorority girls, huh?"

Carolyn shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Did I ever tell you about Betty Lou?

xxx

Meredith followed Derek back over the bridge, down the stream and up another small embankment. They finally stopped at a large oak tree.

"Why are we stopping?" Meredith asked.

"The compass, it started spinning again," Derek said.

"Great!" Meredith stomped her foot. She hated sounding so petulant, but it was how she felt.

"Wait," Derek said, looking at the tree. "Look." Engraved in the bark was a heart-shaped scar. The letters C.M+M.S rested in the middle with an arrow through it.

"C.M and M.S?" Meredith asked.

Derek traced the lines of the heart "C.M…" he hummed. "That's my mom! And M.S is my dad!"

"Oh." She swallowed. Suddenly she missed Derek. Her husband.

 _Two years ago:_

 _She woke to kisses. On her shoulder, in the corner of her neck, down her jawline. Derek's stubble lightly grazed her skin as his lips warmed her._

" _Muh," she replied, still exhausted from a week with a crying newborn. Bailey was her newest joy, her greatest creation, but he was so friggin' hungry. It was exhausting. She waved behind her, her head still buried in the pillow. "Too tired," she muttered._

" _Mere," Derek whispered, wrapping his arm around her. "Wake up."_

" _No, g'way," she squirmed. "He can have my boobs later."_

 _Derek chuckled, and the bed moved as he shifted. She tucked into a tighter ball, trying to pull away from him. But he practically straddled her and pulled the covers off. "Mere," he said a little louder, "Wake up."_

" _Why?" she whined, her eyes fluttering open, as she peered sleepily at her husband._

" _Callie's got Bailey and the kids for the morning. Let's go for a walk."_

" _A walk? Why?"_

" _Just me and you. No kids. Quiet."_

 _She stared at him blearily. A walk. What was she? A dog-walker? She didn't need a walk. She needed sleep. And then more sleep. But as she smeared a palm over her face, she took in her husband's haggard lines._

 _He needed her. He missed her._

 _She missed him too._

 _Of course, they hadn't been physically separated, but the mental toll of looking after an eating-screaming-pooping machine separated them. She blinked, touched his arm. "Kay," she yawned._

 _Ten minutes later, the two of them walked down a dirt path in comfortable sweats. She slid her arm around his and rested her head on his bicep as they strolled. The sun was cresting over the hill, and mist rose off the lake. The greenery was spectacular. Birds sang their spring chorus, and everything was so peaceful and still._

 _They stopped under a large elm tree. The one Doc liked. The one they buried him near. She held his hand as they took it all in._

" _This is nice," she said finally._

" _Yeah," Derek agreed. His gaze shifted from the scenery to her. His blue eyes glittered, and she was taken aback by the intensity of them. "I love you," he said with a brilliant smile._

" _I-," she started to reply, but he pushed her back against the tree and kissed her. Swallowed her up. Plunged deep into her, tasting every bud._

 _He pulled away, and she scrabbled for purchase, breathless. "Wha-,"_

 _He kissed her again. "Derek," she giggled against his chest. "Are you a horny teenager?"_

 _He tilted his head, shrugged, "At this very moment, yes." Then he chuckled._

" _What?" she asked._

" _You just gave me an idea." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a tiny penknife. He flicked it open. "Don't move," he said, and his arm stretched above and to the left of her._

" _What are you doing?"_

" _Stay still." He said, concentrating. She heard the knife grind and the bark above her chip. Bits of wood flicked over her shoulder and landed between them. What on earth was he doing? Stabbing the poor tree?_

 _His expression turned to one of concentration as he worked. She wanted to turn around and look, but he kept her still with his left hand. After a couple minutes, he nodded. "Okay, now you can look."_

 _She stepped back and turned around._

 _A large heart surrounded the initials M.G+D.S 4EVR_

" _Really?" she said._

" _Yeah." He said, tilting her chin up. "Now shut up and let me kiss you."_

" _Kay," she sighed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck._

Now:

Meredith swallowed. It was a happy memory. A good memory. She tried to let it linger in her heart and mind for as long as she could.

"Hellooo," young Derek waved at her, his movement pulling her focus.

"Sorry," she replied. "What?"

"The tree, it's dead." He said.

"So?"

Derek stared thoughtfully at the tree. Dammed if he looked now like he did in that memory. He pointed up high above him. "There's something up there."

Meredith looked up. From a hole in the tree there was a green sprout.

"It's nothing."

"No, there's something there."

And then he started to climb it.

"Derek!" she called worriedly, but the boy ignored her. Of course.

"There's something in that hole," he said. "I just gotta get it."

"Well, be careful!"

Branches rustled, and a twig snapped. Bits of bark fluttered down. "I got it!" he called. "It's a map," he said.

"A map?" Meredith asked herself. Would that get her home? She didn't know.

xxx

Cassie entered the dark woods, flicking the flashlight beam across the path and listened for the stream to help guide her. It still took time, though to get there. Along the way, she'd stopped and pulled a few different types of plants and grasses. Mugwort, for dreaming. The bark of a cedar tree, for purification, and sweetgrass and sage for positive energy.

Near a large oak tree, Cassie cleared brush and dirt aside and set up some large stones for her fire pit. She set up small bits of tinder under larger branches and logs before starting her fire.

Around her, in certain places, she placed the candles and then laid out her sweetgrass.

It had been many, many years since she'd done this. Fanning the cedar smoke, she then carefully burned the sage and sweetgrass. Then the Mugwort.

Cassie wrapped Sam's hoodie around her and sat Indian style in front of the fire, closing her eyes.

Inhaled, exhaled. Out. In. Out. In. She closed off her senses, one by one. First, sight, then touch, taste, smell, sound.

In. she told herself. In with the good. Out. Out with the bad.

When nothingness finally swirled around her, Cassie opened her eyes, seeing into the grayness of another world, and called out, _Mother!_

 **A/N:** Not really promoting any sort of witchcraft or Wicca here, just trying to use some tools! This probably isn't portrayed on the show but... it's fiction!


End file.
